I'm not seriously looking at the moment, so relax. As a writer, I'm a professional people-watcher, and this site is about as good as anywhere. I mean, where else am I going to find all those millions of people who have no real lives whatsoever, and spend all their time in front of computers instead of getting out and interacting with honest-to-God human beings? You geek you. (As if I'm not.)
I am quick-witted, mercurial, and literary.
What I’m doing with my life
Inventing new worlds to conquer. To be precise, I'm a fantasy writer – old-school epic with a few odd twists. At the moment I have four books on the market, with several more on the way. It doesn't pay the bills (yet), but it's the work I love to do.
My motto: I specialize in the impossible. For the absurd I charge extra.
I’m really good at
Inventing new worlds to conquer.
Also listening, laughing, making other people laugh. Possibly other things: wouldn't you like to know?
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm big, loud (once someone breaks the ice), weird, intimidatingly
intelligent, and sometimes killingly funny. Also for some reason I
have one eye to the left of my nose, and one to the right.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
(a) LOTR, Tristram Shandy, a bit of Dickens, anything by Orwell or Twain, Swift, Chesterton. John Myers Myers' Silverlock is a grand game of 'Name That Tale'. Oh, and my own, of course. (b) Monty Python (fill in the blank). Who Framed Roger Rabbit. The masterworks of Mel Brooks, Blake Edwards, and Chuck Jones. Find the pattern, win a cigar. (c) Strictly the classics: Bach, Beethoven, Beatles, Queen, Dead Milkmen, that type of thing. (d) Chinese, Mexican, Italian. Preferably spicy, and preferably with ingredients that Gandhi would have sternly disapproved of.
The six things I could never do without
Hope, imagination, brain juice (Coke, Pepsi or Cott, I'm
brand-agnostic), an appreciative audience, and at least one
I can, however, do without the ability to count to six. Can you?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to fill my social calendar with real live people, despite
spending my working hours in the company of fictitious characters.
On a typical Friday night I am
Up until sunrise on Saturday morning, immersed in my work, because
I can't really afford to go out. (If I took the time off, I
wouldn't have the money.)
You should message me if
You can use a laugh, want to sound off, or desperately need to get
knocked off your high horse.