Whichever of you seals the deal while this message is up gets to put a kata ha jime on a willing person.
I sing and play the ukulele. I started recording a cover every day in 2016 but I've moved on to originals less than a month in. Jesus took the wheel but he couldn't drive stick.
I co-host "Ice Cream Animal Style", a podcast about fast food and secret menu items. I've been doing feminism for like 10 years now and this is the only thing I've done that Cosmo's shown any interest in.
I have a Let's Play series called "in a solid altered state" where I play pinball video games while severely intoxicated. I donate all the proceeds to marginalized artists; yes, I will donate to your Patreon if you let me put you in a scissorhold and tickle you until you pee yourself.
I have Modcloth's "Soda Fountain", "Coach Tour" and "Hepcat" dresses in every available color. I don't blend well in crowds.
Giving interviews. My writing style has been described as "overwhelmingly pleasant".
Baking pound cake, vegan chocolate cake and chocolate chip pretzel cookies. I also enjoy making pickles and slow cooker chili. I often entertain the fantasy of, after having done all the good I can, just disappearing to a cabin to bake and fashion ukuleles out of vegetable crates and become a wholesome homesteader just so I can be seduced by decadent city living again as a born-again MILF.
Scrambling eggs: you beat the eggs as they're cooking in the pan, not before. I can poach an egg really good, too.
Giving pedicures. Even the toppiest top that ever topped yearns for foot service sluttery sometimes.
Beating Mike Tyson's Punch Out.
The word "pseudomonarchia".
How/why Mayumi Ozaki's lipstick never smears.
Hard apple ciders.
Card stock and paper weight.
Allison Hayes' face from the poster of Attack of the 40 Foot Woman.
Lactation & breastfeeding other consenting adults.
The paintings of Yangyang Pan.
Lori Williams' navel in Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!
My octopus tattoo.
The proper placement and quantity of buckles on certain footwear.
Books best read by fires vs books best read by the ocean.
you denounce the evils of truth and love.
you need someone to come over and use up all the food in your fridge to make you a nice ass meal. Pickles go with more than what you might think.
you liked Mario Tennis.
you want someone to paint your toes and rub your soles while you're on the phone with your other girlfriend.
you wanna kick the shit out of me.
you are a femme who likes other femmes.
you like being choked.
you like being tickled.
you have a tough time deciding between tea and food.
you want to fight for the cherry on top.