Don't you just Love to "describe" who you are? Seriously, how does one accomplish this? How do I explain that I do not allow someone to be sad around me without making them laugh at least once? Or, how I Will Not eat the fat on a steak or bacon or porkchop or chicken or etc... Or how about the fact that I would choose to drive a Chevy K-5 Blazer over anything else on the planet, seriously, I've had 3 of them. Here's one; after reading 'The Grapes of Wrath' I din't touch gravy for almost 8 years. Another? Ok, here goes; I am a firm believer that America is the absolute best place in the world and I will until my last breath.

So? With those personal tidbits aside now to the typical stuff. I love laughing, I prefer comedies to any other movie because you feel better afterwards. I appreciate a sharp wit; being a smart smartass is not an easy accomplishment. I generally take care of myself pretty well and I commend that in others. (But I have gained 10 pounds since September since I started back to college full-time)

Going back to school after military and marriage. I will be done sometime around 2050, Maybe.

Mentoring kids to realize that men wearing sneakers and jeans looks weird and to invest in a good pair of black boots. I refuse to wear sneaks with jeans, it just looks and feels weird to me.

Drinking coffee, I've been told I have Perfect Form, been thinking of turning pro. I am so-so at carpentry, wrestling, and uhhhh....jokes.

Third eye......(and being completely honest without sounding like a prick) My size. I'm 5'5" but I hover around 220 pounds. Although I'm about 10 pounds over my personal comfort zone since starting school this summer, I am just a big guy. It's funny when people ask me how tall I am then they don't believe me when I say 5'5", like I would reduce my height for some weird reason. Me lifts lots o wait, Me grow big 'n strong, Arrr Arrrr Arrr!!

Movies - Snatch, 300, Tombstone, Notting Hill, Many Many Many More

Books - Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card, The Corps series by W.E.B. Griffin, Jack Ryan series by Tom Clancy, MANY MANY MORE

Food - HAHAHAHA!! Let's just say I don't eat Mayonnaise, Salt, or spinach - EVERYTHING ELSE is free game.

Music - 2Pac to Gary Allan, Korn to Dwight Yoakam, Jay-Z to Hank Jr.

Glitter, Massive mounds of heroin, spy glasses, and imaginary friends - all 50 of 'em.

More?...OK!!! My Babies-of course, Coffee, My Cell, Alabama Football, Meat, and my boots.

Big Bird....................

Either with my kids or with friends. There is absolutely no typical night. I have gotten up and went to Orlando to Ikea for clothes hangers, I can't stand being bored.

I do not like talking to stupid people. Some would argue that makes me stupid......Well...Yo Momma!

Also, I like a woman who has nice hair. It says something to me on a deeper level about how someone treats themselves and how their self-esteem is. A woman with nice hair can look good with it pulled in a ponytail, fixed for work or a nice night out.

You read all of this crap.

If you take pride in yourself and have a sense of humor, don't take yourself to seriously and you understand why no woman will meet my children for many months, if you could actually put up with me.