Bibbit. He sat on the tree, and he said to The Bee, "If my heart were a flower, I'd give it.
It might be obvious that I come from a long line of eminent poets. A long line, I tell you. Not as long as the Great Wall of China, but almost as long as the So-So Wall of China.
Hmm...OKC didn't give me a "The-most-private-thing-I'm-willing-to-admit" section. They probably took a look at my personality profile and decided it was best to omit that one. But I'll tell you anyway. Read the following:
According to OKC's rigorously scientific psychological assessment, I am GGG to the max. There are some new things I could get to like.
I am introverted, but I am not the most introverted among introverts. In a crowd of introverts, I might appear on the extroverted side (I'm the one who's actually thinking about saying something). I can comfortably handle crowds of two or three, though.
My styles of thinking are synthesist and analyst, somewhat idealist.
I would describe myself as an INTP with creative tendencies and a heckuva talent for giving massages. So often have I heard the question, "How do you know exactly where to touch me?!?" I wish that I could have an out-of-body experience and massage myself, in order to see what all the buzz is about.
If something I say or write seems too outrageous or ridiculous to be veridical, then I probably meant that it seem so. I test people when I can, and I often use my tests to filter people.
I just floated to open up the surprise garbage can watching nuisance tv, so the brainstorm is still wiggling around in the fish's catbrain. No spackle could quantifiably rescue that spreading gesture; just a bottle of chicanery wine, please. I doth say so.
I have the attention span of a drunken flea who spends its time media-multi-tasking and cycling through all the channels on the satellite TV every three minutes. Fleas do this in a parallel universe.
But I enjoy people who get it. So few people do. I get along best with my oddball friends, those who beat their own path and beat their own drum. In other words, they take a beating for all its worth.
I, just like you, am a bit of an oddball. It's mostly because I laugh at things other people don't find funny. I am sensitive to irony and quotidian events can be teeming with it. My mind is about as open as a clear sky, I love jazz, I can get along with almost anyone. I can have a conversation with a homeless person from the hood, or a world-class scholar in oncology who heads the department at a prestigious university. I think that's because I don't pretend. When I am interested, you can tell. When I don't understand, I admit it. You can call me a cracker, a spic, a jaggle-toothed, skinny faggot, a satanic liberal, a bigoted conservative, a hipster (Ouch!), and none of that will bother me because I know who I am and what I am.
Please, don't call me a hipster.
When I am serious, I will let you know. I am serious about finding a great match based on shared values, shared understanding, shared likes and preferences, and shared goals. Personality stuff falls into place on its own. I can usually tell when I am not getting along with someone, and that is when the cops usually show up. Bright flashing lights. Can't miss 'em.
So, would you eat me with a fox? Would you shove me in a box? Would you join me on a train? Would you kiss me in the rain? Would you pet me like a mouse? Would you let me clean your house? Will you meet me here, or there? Would you meet me anywhere?
I'll tell you what. If we are still dating by next Halloween (10/2015), I will agree to dress up as green eggs, if you dress up as green ham. We can find a cat just about anywhere. And if it is not black with a candy-striped hat, we'll make it that way.
When I was a kid, I used to go outside in the summer, get on all fours in the dirt, and put my face close to the ground to see all the tiny little creatures busy at work. My glasses would slip down my nose every five seconds, and I would push them right back up with my fingertip every five seconds. I had huge glasses that covered half my face, I was shirtless, and I was barefoot.
Every now-and-then, I will get really close the the ground, or a tree, and stare at the little creatures busy at work. Then, I have to remind myself that I am an adult and look around to see who is watching.
I speak Spanish conversationally and I want to learn French. So far, I have changed my web browser to display everything in French, along with my facebook account and Google. Learning French is a slow and difficult process. I find it rather daunting to practice the R's and U's - it wears out my throat quickly. I will get it, but I would get it faster if I had more Francophonic friends. It seems, though, that people get frustrated with helping a language neophyte practice. I will continue conversing with Google Translate and my friend, Tessa, who has the strength to bear witness to my efforts.
Why French? The French invented love, and I'm pretty sure they invented French kissing. I also love the way French sounds and the general ambience of sophistication I perceive about French culture. My French friends tell me that French culture is overrated, but I will continue to imagine that it is majestic and dream of one day living in France, sipping espresso at a real café, feeling depressed, writing dismally obscure poetry, and wearing a black turtleneck with a matching beret. Ah, dreams.
Je parle très peu.
I play the guitar and sometimes write music. I've played in a few Chicago bands and spent a lot of (way too much) time learning how to record and produce music. I basically taught myself how to play guitar and I can hold my own in most places. Now, I just practice enough to avoid looking like a donkey in front of my students.
I enjoy cooking, but not as much as I enjoy a glass of wine over dinner at an excellent restaurant. I tend to use turmeric, cumin, cardamom, basil, garlic, saffron, Trader Joe's 21 Seasoning Salute, butter, salt, dill, nutmeg, cinnamon, almond extract, olive oil, coconut oil, and black pepper. I usually make very simple things like short brown rice and sprouted mung beans, omelets, chicken (fried or baked), vegetables, oatmeal...hmm. Simply working over a stove with tools, chemicals (spices), and heat gives me a sense of accomplishment and allows me to be creative. When things are turning out right, there is a sense of magic going on. No one has ever complained about anything I have ever made - no one who is still alive, anyway - but many have told me that my food was delicious. I can pour a mean cup of tea.
I love to walk around and take pictures of things. I have photos of construction cranes, flowers, insects, museums, grass, etc.
I have three sisters and they are all married with children.
Recently, my aunt asked me if I had a girlfriend, yet. I thought to myself, "Ah! How quaint is the generation gap. I know you're serious, even though naive," and I just smiled and said, "Todavía no, tía."
I am soft-spoken, but I boom when I must. I love to ask questions, and I usually don't say very much unless it needs to be said; e.g., I recently spoke up and asked a waiter for mayonnaise. Seriously, when I was a sergeant in the army, I was known for being a maniacally loud and scary soldier. I have only had to engage people on that level twice since I left the army eight years ago, but I often don't even need to get half that "robust."
My friends tend to be artistic, musical, and philosophical. I have mid-western kindness, Chicago street smarts, and an infantryman's attention to detail. I served 6.5 years in the army, and am a combat veteran - twice in Iraq ('03 & '05).
My friends will tell you that I am sweet, loyal, and smart. They will also tell you that I am crazy and unpredictable.
I grew up in the depraved world that existed before smartphones and GPS devices, so I know how to read a map, I know which direction I'm headed, and I can figure out how to get to where I want to go.
I love long hair, deep kisses, and snug hugs.
There's more to this...
..Here is a bunch of other stuff:
Here you will find things intentionally written for my OKC profile as well as other things that have been copied and pasted from my other cyberspace archives posted elsewhere, at other times, with different intentions.
Today's Pride Parade was the first I've ever attended where so many people were smiling, laughing, singing, dancing; it was a general state of effusive celebration. Happy Pride!
Being from a small town with an uneducated, narrow-minded, violent, and macho culture, I didn't realize until I was a almost an adult that homosexuality isn't a sin, that it's not immoral, that it's not contagious, etc. A good friend was with me one time when gay men were hitting on me. I was a little nervous about it and she told me to just relax and take it as a compliment. So, that's what I did. And that is what I do.
Now, I must say, living in "the gayest neighborhood in DC" has taught me much about the differences between the way men go about things and the way women go about things; i.e., when a man hits on me in a bar, he is likely to say something like, "I would love to stick my tongue deep in your ass." Women, in my experience, are more likely to say something more subtle, like nothing at all. Women, in my experience, communicate much more nonverbally.
I sat next to a group of gay men [some] morning at Black and Orange. It was about 4AM and I had just left my bouncer friend (Incidentally, his name is the same as mine). These gay men were chatting with me, bantering with each other, and having a great time. I appreciated being a part of their group because I had perceived that many of the people I [met in DC were] just not friendly. [It wasn't] at all like Glen Ellyn. People tend to describe DC as being much like New York, in fact.
I believe most of my friends would agree with me that being open-minded and thoughtful allows one not only to abstractly conceive of a greater, deeper freedom, but, in a more practical way, to enable a more immediate sense of comfort and contentment - it's a relief from tension and anxiety. Kinda like bacon.
Meow. Meow, meow, meow.
This thing just keeps getting longer and longer (I just stopped and thought about that for a second). I sometimes add a paragraph or two to the top, the bottom, or the middle. Each time, I try to get better at showing who and what I really am. This particular paragraph comes at the Caribou Coffee near Logan Circle.
Enough about that. Over the past few weeks, I have deviated from the more common theory in cognitive neuroscience and have delved into molecular neuroimmunology, awash in a sea of particles, proteins, acronyms, knockout mice, tubulin molecules, amygdala-HPA-axis effects, and the like. My near-term goal is to generate a computer-automated visual experiment analyzing certain processes of attention and cognitive control.
My sense of humor sometimes goes awry, is rarely sarcastic, is often slapstick and silly, and is seldom understood by any (no bueno?). I often make myself laugh just by realizing and thinking about the irony in other people's behavior, or, often, my own. Sometimes I make people laugh. I'm best at this sitting before an audience at an open mic performance, singing and playing my guitar.
At the beginning of a performance, I might whip out my smartphone, start tapping away, and mumble under my breath, into the microphone, "How to play a guitar."
If you're that one lady (you know who you are, fishtaco69), I started reading your profile and got bored after the first couple of sentences, so I came back here to gaze at my own photos for a while. Then, I went back to a webpage about colchicine and microtubule transport in mast-cell degranulation. I just can't get over the beauty in all these things!
One might ask: Why is this profile so damn long? One might not. One might be clicking the "hide" button as I type this. I just figured, "What OkCupid experience would be complete without a lengthy exposé of the soporiferous minutiae spilling over from my daily doldrums?" I think I was right. I'll have to ask my hair stylist. I always go to him for solid advice. He's like a mixture of Alexander Hamilton, Richard Pryor, and Cyndi Lauper. I think he's from Bhutan??
My semester is over and I have more time to hang out on the web, so I added hyperlinks, eliminated typos, made my essays longer, etc. I was looking at guys' profiles (just to get a sense of norm) and was totally disappointed that I couldn't change my profile name to "dcguy" because someone else had already taken it. :(
Another life story:
I grew up in a post-industrial wasteland, joined the military, and earned some college money in unbelievably hot and terrible places. Seven years of that gig was enough for me, so I took advantage of my college money to make myself smarter and earn awards and stuff. I recently migrated from Chicagoland to GWU. So, here I am.
Fun for me is learning how molecules function as computing machines, or learning something new about brain function, etc. I enjoy reading and writing and I am quiet. When I speak, I tend to be overly analytic and make the dumbest, cheesiest jokes you have ever heard. I am a ruminant thinker. I collect a lot of facts and let them bounce around in my imagination, finding each other and fitting together. I'm not always right, but I am at least original.
Commas, I find, find their place, or existence, based on whimsical arbitration, at times.
I don't really get poetry or art, though I like them both because they stimulate the brain in unique ways. They are a mystery to me and are beautiful because of that mystery. I sometimes feel like I might be "getting it" because I feel "touched." Of course, that might simply be fatigue, or perhaps a little indigestion. I do, however, attempt to write poetry every now-and-then, when the spirit of the writhing pen strikes me. Ask and you shall receive.
This is a newer paragraph; like, brand new:
I think I now realize that art demonstrates an enormous amount of skill in representing an idea. The particular skill in question might not require the spindling of a brush or the calibration of a subtle highlights, but might involve the perception of a greater social mood or timing the implication that one's work bears witness to a recent political event. The artist's history, the anthology of critiques, the location of the exhibit, the artist's own words, and other factors may reveal the art in the work just as much as the particular medium's product.
My conversations with friends tend to cover social issues with a rather heavy accent on philosophy. We tend to be secular, atheist humanists.
I enjoy movies for the actors, but I also enjoy certain directors; e.g., Michel Gondry, the Coen bros. If the characters are not believable, I become disinterested quickly. Believe it or not, I saw a couple of really funny movies, recently, that were intended for a younger female audience; I watched Mean Girls and Pitch Perfect. The latter was better: painstakingly choreographed, ridiculously funny, and visually exciting - I was totally surprised. Being surrounded often by young girls (I can explain), I was induced to watch these films in order to gain information from them.
Politics: I am not politically wonky - sorry. I love Stephen Colbert, though. I even support his hair.
I used to be obsessed with politics, but that jaded me more than slightly. I actually went for about eighteen months without reading the newspaper or any political stuff online. I have heard that many Iraq War veterans have had similar experiences with politics in the media. I am starting to get back into current events, however, just to be able to have a conversation with the typical Washingtonian.
I prefer Abraham Lincoln over George Washington.
I get a kick out of reading about "Conservative thinktanks."
I'm looking for someone who appreciates a moderate amount of uncertainty, who likes the freedom and satisfaction of playing by ear. I would enjoy my time with someone who likes to take a walk in the forest collecting things, finding interesting-looking trees, perhaps stopping to watch an army of ants do their work. Let's take a walk along the beach and listen to the waves. Let's go to the darkest place on Earth and watch the stars.
I should add something somewhere about a sick and twisted sense of humor.
I understand how extracorporeal shockwave lithotripsy works. I do things like memorize the periodic table and read about pharmacology. I know more about the menstrual cycle than most women. I can even see images of what the hormones' molecules look like in my mind. It's just the way my brain works. I am in the mode of trying to invent my life and that requires great learning. I hope you will understand, accept, and support that.
I get a dictionary.com "word of the day" in my email everyday. Then, I look that word up in the Oxford English Dictionary to confirm that definition and learn even more. I also get stuff from MIT's Open Courseware program, NPR, Scientific American, The Wall Street Journal, NEJM, Society for Neuroscience, Mayo Clinic, NIH, Atheists of Silicon Valley (mostly atheist invections against Christianity, meh), and more.
Other things I do for fun: I will play my guitar in public and chat with people. I also enjoy museums and art galleries. When I just want to vegetate, I will watch movies on the internet. This past weekend, I went out to U/14th to visit a couple of places and watch people. I went to Saint-Ex, Bar Pilar, Lost Society, Bohemian Caverns, Nellie's, and Tropicalia (VERY LOUD). I like to dance, I like to roam around and look at things I haven't seen before. I feel like it's been quite a while since I've really had great fun. I have been studying since I got to this city in January . It is hard to keep up with these young, smart kids. Before I got to DC, I was going to [community college] in Chicagoland and trying to get things together in order to transfer to a university. It would be GWU.
Do I like to sit and watch movies with beer and pizza? Of course, I do. I also like to dance and have conversations with interesting strangers. I don't watch sports, though - at least not on purpose. I stopped watching basketball when the Bulls won their last championship. I will watch hockey or soccer, if I happen to be near a tv set and they're on. I stopped watching baseball when MLB had its strike in 1995. I do intend to make it to a Nats game soon, though. You should take me there!
Since I will have a little (just a tiny little) more time this summer to do things, I am going to do a better job of staying in shape. That will be fun. In fact, I just received a new pair of running shoes in the mail and can't wait to use them! (I got down to 75 kg and I felt great! Then, I broke both of my hands and weighed 87 kg by January 2014. I am now back to 75 kg in October 2014.)
I love children. I have a niece who recently turned four. She's beautiful and smart and has an interest in dancing. Kids take nicely to me and I don't exactly know why. Maybe it's because I think on their level. Maybe it's that I have child-like fascination with things. I truly think that it's simply because I make the effort to communicate on their level - not above their heads, not below.
I believe that health and supportive friends can help one to overcome a great deal of adversity in life. I value these things: a healthy diet, exercise, social enjoyment, and knowledge. I believe in approaching these things logically and intelligently. This doesn't take the fun out of it - people confuse happiness and cheer all the time.
Though many of the above bits of info may not strictly adhere to pertinence of the present, I do think think they all should allow one glimpse or another into my psyche.