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CrypticCalamari

28 Cleveland, OH Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 22–44
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 2:54pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Jacked
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Working on space camp
Job
Other
Income
More than $1,000,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), German (Poorly), Japanese (Poorly), C++ (Okay), Ancient Greek (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
*✲゚*。✧٩(・ิᴗ・ิ๑)۶*✲゚*。✧
(☉ε ⊙ノ)ノ “ψ(`∇´)ψ

MOAR PROTEIN!!!

Arnold Schwarzenegger
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdVCfDioTcY)

Digitalism - Antibiotics
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31UAWeAscB0)
"You will be disqualified."

Keys N Krates - All The Time (Tove Lo Flip)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TGxlZQEmns)

Programmer, Gamer, Pumper of Ferrous Alloys, Cyclist, Le Runner, Geek, ESPRESSO!!, Beer Snob, and Explorer of Explorables.

I'm a pretty laid back person, though always pretty wired with caffeine. I can't sit still very well and I get bored and anxious just sitting around, unless of course I'm locked into something interesting; video game, board game, writing code, or on the verge of passing out due to lack of sleep.

Oh, and I've got the mouth of a sailor, though I know if which contexts it's appropriate to use said mouth. Every once in a while I'll slip up, so don't be offended by a bit 'o the vulgar.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
(۶ૈ ۜ ᵒ̌▱๋ᵒ̌ )۶ૈ=͟͟͞͞ ⌨

Currently I'm formerly unemployed :P Got a job working at a pizza shop back in July. Not the most enjoyable or income heavy job I could have, but it puts food in mah belly and gives me some job history. Fun Fact: Companies, no matter the type, are generally more likely to hire a convicted felon than a perfectly good citizen with a run of bad luck who is currently unemployed. Isn't that just fucking mind boggling. If you're in charge of hiring and think like that, go throw yourself in a landfill or something, because asshats like you are what make this world a horrible place.

My profession of choice is software developer, so I'm constantly working on developing my skills there. I have no time for a job of any normal sort, because that's essentially an admittance of defeat. I can't live my life as a slave to student loan debt, so it's either get a job as a developer or eventually become homeless. You don't like that, well woopdifucking doo ... and also I can totally understand.

ε=ε=ε=┌(๑ʘ∀ʘ)┘

As for that whole thing on the right sidebar about me being Jacked, that's completely true, depending on your definition of jacked. I'm 6'2" and 180 lbs. Pretty ripped in general. I'm currently pursuing the body building route, and the hardest thing about that isn't so much the working out, as it is just eating enough and remembering to be hungry. There's also that whole part about affording food. I'm in a constant process of discovering ways to eat healthy on the cheap, but also getting in enough calories.

I apologize if you're offended by me talking about that or making my profile picture a shirtless mirror selfie. I'm not ashamed, and I don't feel like I should have to hide myself for others.

(҂⌣̀_⌣́)

Aside from all that I'm working on plans for, and possibly from, the future. *shrug* I want to start my own software company down the road. Lot's a work to go before that happens.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Firstly, making the best damn dinners you've ever laid your taste buds on. Orgasmic is the understatement of the century (Just ate before typing this, so please bare with my self-adulation).

I'm really good random information. I'm like a walking graph database. If something sparks my index, then I can bring to the table a multitude of interesting facts. Honestly, I really find this to be normal, but I often find people telling me "Man, you sure know a lot." This also saddens me, because I don't want to stand out in this regard. I want to be around people like me.

Aside from that, I'm really get at getting distracted by politics and foreign affairs, particularly as they're related to ICTs. I used to be more concerned with promoting secularism particularly in the public sphere, but this is just frustrating sometimes, so I focus my mind on things that are more manageable, like feminist issues, and security / privacy issues.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My height, smile, alluring personality, sexy man boobs, rock hard bedonkidonk, etc.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Book: I Am a Strange Loop, A World Without Time, Peer-to-Peer, Crypto, Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar
Movie: Limitless
Shows: House of Cards, White Collar, Leverage, Dr. Who.
Music: Nine Inch Nails, Mumford and Sons
Food: Chicken, rice, and broccoli cooked with a variation of herbs and spices that will make you cry tears or Ecstasy
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Protein Shakes

2. A gym to lift in

3. Espresso (*`▽´)_旦~~

4. My laptop

5. Good sleep

6. People. *✲゚*。✧٩(・ิᴗ・ิ๑)۶٩(・ิᴗ・ิ๑)۶*✲゚*。✧
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
My macros. Did I take my protein shake?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Probably in the gym getting swoll.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I worked as a nude model for three years while studying. One of the most memorable experiences of my life thus far. I mean, how many other people in this world can say that hundreds of other people saw them naked over the years.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
... you want to do this leg workout:

Dana Linn Bailey And Kris Gethin Do DTP Legs
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSIi8I2APdI)