How about this? I will describe myself using comments other people make to me, that I hate:
- People call me tall. I don't dislike that, I just don't see myself as all that tall. 6'8" is tall. I am run of the mill, Walmart tall.
- I get told I look like (insert person I don't want to look like here). Lately, thanks to his resurgence as a money grubbing "country artist," my doppelganger du jour is Darius Rucker apparently. That's enough to make a guy want facial reconstruction surgery. A guy in a redneck town once said I look like Donovan McNabb and I wanted to kill him for being a racist pig (Oh, we ALL look alike huh?), until I got back to my car, looked in the rearview mirror, and thought, "Damn, he's right." (I had a serious fro and goatee at the time).
- At work, I am known as the HR guy that HR would hate. This one is actually pretty accurate. HR is not really my job; it sort of just fell in my lap as part of my job. That said, I have a filter with notoriously large holes (Michael Scott, jump in here) that fails to, well, filter. I am not obscene nor disrespectful, but don't put a golf ball on a tee and a driver in my hand and NOT expect me to swing.
- "You are a great musician!" No, I am not. I play guitar in a band that has 4 cd's, none of which sold more than a few hundred copies lol. We did it/do it for fun, not because we are good. Think of me as the musical equivalent of Milli, or Vanilli.
- "Hey man, what's going on?" I'm not sure why, but people talk to me. ALL THE TIME. I am not anti-social, but sometimes when I go to a sports bar to OD on Sunday afternoon football or the NCAA tournament, that's all I want to do. Invariably, 5 people will just start talking to me and I politely oblige, always wondering what they are thinking as they drone on about something, while I never take my eyes off of the 9 televisions in viewing range. Huh, what do you know, I am a bit of a jerk. :)
- And finally, my all time favorite, "You should listen to Rush Limbaugh. You seem like the kind of guy that would understand him." Yes, that was actually said to me. I proceeded to gouge my brain out in frustration.
I suppose I should say something remotely serious. Yes, I am looking for all the same things anyone would: love, commitment etc. I believe I am often misunderstood as not serious when it comes to dating and relationships, a misunderstanding I willingly take some (if not most) blame for. Don't let my desire to live life smiling come across as living it aloof or without purpose. I just think it's more fun to have fun than to not have fun. With almost anything. If that makes sense to you, then maybe we are right, and if not, probably not. No worries :)