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45 Comstock Park, MI Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 34–50
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 9:15am
6′ 4″ (1.93m)
Body type
Agnosticism, and somewhat serious about it
Graduated from university
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've always thought it would be fun to write something here completely fictional; not in a "I am creating lies to deceive you" way, but more of a "I am painting a caricature of myself" way that tells you who I am through the use of extremes. Invariably, the problem is that when I try it...well...let's just say sarcasm in cyberspace gets lost in translation. I blame the medium, not my ability to creatively manipulate words. In short, it makes me sound like a jerk.

How about this? I will describe myself using comments other people make to me, that I hate:

- People call me tall. I don't dislike that, I just don't see myself as all that tall. 6'8" is tall. I am run of the mill, Walmart tall.

- I get told I look like (insert person I don't want to look like here). Lately, thanks to his resurgence as a money grubbing "country artist," my doppelganger du jour is Darius Rucker apparently. That's enough to make a guy want facial reconstruction surgery. A guy in a redneck town once said I look like Donovan McNabb and I wanted to kill him for being a racist pig (Oh, we ALL look alike huh?), until I got back to my car, looked in the rearview mirror, and thought, "Damn, he's right." (I had a serious fro and goatee at the time).

- At work, I am known as the HR guy that HR would hate. This one is actually pretty accurate. HR is not really my job; it sort of just fell in my lap as part of my job. That said, I have a filter with notoriously large holes (Michael Scott, jump in here) that fails to, well, filter. I am not obscene nor disrespectful, but don't put a golf ball on a tee and a driver in my hand and NOT expect me to swing.

- "You are a great musician!" No, I am not. I play guitar in a band that has 4 cd's, none of which sold more than a few hundred copies lol. We did it/do it for fun, not because we are good. Think of me as the musical equivalent of Milli, or Vanilli.

- "Hey man, what's going on?" I'm not sure why, but people talk to me. ALL THE TIME. I am not anti-social, but sometimes when I go to a sports bar to OD on Sunday afternoon football or the NCAA tournament, that's all I want to do. Invariably, 5 people will just start talking to me and I politely oblige, always wondering what they are thinking as they drone on about something, while I never take my eyes off of the 9 televisions in viewing range. Huh, what do you know, I am a bit of a jerk. :)

- And finally, my all time favorite, "You should listen to Rush Limbaugh. You seem like the kind of guy that would understand him." Yes, that was actually said to me. I proceeded to gouge my brain out in frustration.

I suppose I should say something remotely serious. Yes, I am looking for all the same things anyone would: love, commitment etc. I believe I am often misunderstood as not serious when it comes to dating and relationships, a misunderstanding I willingly take some (if not most) blame for. Don't let my desire to live life smiling come across as living it aloof or without purpose. I just think it's more fun to have fun than to not have fun. With almost anything. If that makes sense to you, then maybe we are right, and if not, probably not. No worries :)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working, playing, parenting, exercising, sleeping. Pretty much just like everyone else.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Writing online dating profiles. I have had several versions in an effort to attract the right one. This one is roughly version 7. Here's to persistence...
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My height if you are short. Or my big head...not arrogance, just a giant melon. Seriously I am put together like a blow pop.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Short stories and poetry over novels, indie films over Hollywood garbage, Breaking Bad and The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margret, anything but country and Rap since 1992, and Thai food. If you know how to cook Pad Pak, I will marry you on the first date.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My boys, air, water, food, shelter, and heat. Maybe a tad too literal on 5 of the 6?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
...whether or not my dating standards / expectations are unrealistic. I just don't understand why Halle Berry won't return my calls.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Reducing the threat of fire at my residence to zero, as I have my kids every Friday night. Luckily I can leave them at home alone now and actually date, since they are at an age where I can't be prosecuted for negligence in the unlikely event that they do actually burn the place down.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My hair and goatee are now 50% gray or so. That is not personal in and of itself, but this is: I am petitioning every major drug manufacturer to stop investing billions into pills for erections, and start worrying about my hair color options. Priorities people...get them in line.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over. want to. If you have gotten this far and need some magical call to action, then you probably shouldn't. I am pretty good at making people laugh, as long as you get sarcasm. So if you are looking for a chuckle and a tall-ish dude with a huge noggin, hit me up. :)