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Culinarista

34 San Francisco, CA Woman

Woman

I’m looking for

  • All who like bi women
  • Ages 27–48
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Today – 7:07pm
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
Trying to quit
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Libra, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t want kids
Pets
Likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Fluently), Russian (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
June 2014 edit: Hey folks! There is now a new "relationship" section in your basic info! Go to your profile; scroll down past height, sexuality, ethnicity & whatnot. If you hit income, you've gone too far. Your options are "strictly" & "mostly""monogamous" and "non-monogamous" Choose wisely...

Or just choose, at all. Pretty please?
Too many of you don't seem to have noticed its existence.

My best friend since the summer before second grade says:

"She's a strong drink but good one"

I think that sums it up right there, but for a bit more detail, read on....

A-ko, b-ko and c-ko- san meet the Iron Chef. I'm allergic to lies. I'm a sensual intellectual who knows how to have a good time. I recently got clued into the term "GGG" but i think I've been living it my whole life. I'm a NYC transplant who loves SF and hates LA.
I've been poly for my entire adult life, and while new friends+ are always nice, I'm really not interested in seriously dating anyone who doesn't already have some _real_ (and *good*) experience with open relationships non-monogamy poly or some associated flavor of modern nonstandard relationship model. Really not kidding about that, guys (and girls, for that matter.)

I am Curvacious, Independent, and Animé.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a professional specialist confectioner. If you really want to know more, I'll explain, if you message.

Suffice it to say, what I do is not legal in all 50 states. But should be.

I do, for a living, what I used to do as a hobby. In this collapsed economy, & subsequent to the federal crackdowns, my business is doing about as well as can be expected, but I'm still hopeful about the future.

One of the communities I've been enjoying is the SF karaoke circuit. I'd hated karaoke my whole life, but I got dragged to a night and had one of those burning bush-type revelatory moments. So lately, I karaoke a lot. I am 650% more likely to be willing to meet you at a karaoke venue of my choice, or even your choice, than elsewhere.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
food, & Burning Man & karaoke

I love doing impromptu food, rather than recipe-driven stuff. I can pull a gourmet meal from most randomly supplied kitchens. My former moment of triumph was at Burning Man where I pulled off a gourmet meal for 40 in a tent kitchen with 2 gas grills & a 3 burner campstove. But now I've pulled that off 3 years running...once in a 3 hour whiteout. I loveses challenges and I hateses surprises. Hateses them. Weird, huh?

I'm also really good at Scrabble , words with friends, and LetterPress& I love new partners. Message me with your handle.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The fact that I look like a character out of mid 90s manga. All tits, legs, & candy colored hair.. Currently it's platinum, blue & pink. This week, in a shaggy betwixt & between sort of thing. Suggestions welcome. it's kind of hard to miss. Best business decision I ever made. Also not kidding.

Also, I'm tall. 6' in socks.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
(a) edit 6/2013: anything by N.K. Jemisin
Sex at Dawn Freakanomics
_Incubus Dreams_ ,_ Mother of Storms_ , Fire Upon the Deep_, Perdido Street Station_, _Göedel, Escher, Bach_. _Shockwave Rider_, guns, germs, and steel. _Why I hate Saturn_
b) The Rocky Horror Picture Show Heathers, The Matrix, Shaolin Soccer, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead, Real Lesbians Real Bondage 4, The Princess Bride, Serenity (
c) DJ Lorin aka Bassnectar, VNV nation, Skream , Lee Press-on & the Nails, Blues Traveler, pink, jonathon coulton, they might be giants, Adele, Florence & the machine
(d) sushi, random fusion, playa haute cuisine.

Mostly I don't go out to eat because I'm a better chef than most you'll find at a restaurant. I can make food that's twice as good for 1/2 as many people for less than half the price. The one glaring exception is sushi rice. There, I got nothing...
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
IPhone, karaoke, bacon, word games, vibrators, bandwidth
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I wonder why the treehugger types haven't started an anti-bonsai movement, the way the animal rights folks (so effectively) have campaigned against fur.

Exploitation for decoration, same issue, right? Animals raised for fur are tormented for a few years, at most. There are records of bonsai being tortured for *centuries!* Free the trees!
And bonsai trees can't even efficiently warm you in subzero temperatures.

And now, for an extended mix rant about Trader joe's "mirepoix". You're only obligated to read it if you claim "cooking"
as something you're good at....

For those of you less culinarily inclined, (but still reading) 'mirepoix' is a technical French culinary term, referring to the preparation of a mixture of carrot, celery, & onions that is the foundation for a wide variety of soups, sauces, stews, stuffings, and so forth.

Like most things traditionally French & culinary, it refers to something very specific: small diced onions, carrots, & celery, in a ratio of 2:1:1. Aka half onions, a quarter celery a quarter carrots.
Frequently, older recipes will call for mirepoix and just expect you to know what they mean.

It is a massive, time-consuming pain to cut by hand, and doing it in a food processor just makes a mess, usually.

Imagine my surprise and delight when I was at Trader Joes one Thanksgiving, and I saw "mirepoix" on the shelves. Oh frabjous day, callooo callay! I get it home, and actually look at it...and it's equal parts onion, carrots & celery. Not mirepoix at all.

If at this point you're like, "whatever, bitch, it's precut, it's the right three veggies, where's the problem?" you can just keep on clicking through to the next prospect, kthxbai.

So, I grab an onion and dice it, to bring the proportions, and hence, the flavor balance, into proper alignment. I'm still pretty pleased with not having to deal with dicing nearly as much veg, and I proceed to my next turkey day task.

However, the next time I was at TJ's I went and talked to the manager to explain my concern about their (so easily correctable, damnit!) error. Eventually he understood that there was a problem and even what it was, and he agreed to pass it up the line.

The problem is this: if you call it mirepoix, it should *be* mirepoix and 2:1:1. If you pack it 1:1:1 don't call it mirepoix. Easy! Apparently not.

It's been *years* now that this has bugged me. I've sent several emails. I've dug up an envelope and a stamp and physically sent a letter to corporate explaining the problem, pointing out the potential economic benefit that correcting it would be for them.

You see, onions are both cheaper than carrots or celery and can be stored outside of refrigeration. They could save tens of thousands of dollars on the cost of production of this one item during the holiday season alone! By *improving* its quality and reliability, without changing packaging or procedure in any way. Or at least they could change the freaking name, so it's not misleading...

Nothing. No response. No change. For *years.* Every time I see (and use, because it's still easier than doing it all manually) it, it's like fingernails across the blackboard of my soul.

Hey, they asked what you spend a lot of time thinking about, ok? Obviously this is such a thing.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Not at a karaoke venue. Almost any other night. It's possible to likely. But not Fridays. Or Saturdays, for that matter. Afternoons are a whole different story.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a retard. No srsly. Diagnosed w Aspergergers Syndrome years ago, mild & high functioning. But technically autistic. Emotional nuance & subtext that does not align with literal lexicographical definition? I'm sorry, I'm deaf in that ear. & Do not expect me to be responsible for material conveyed thusly. No, really. Wiki Aspberger's before you message me.

Now that I've totally quelled your ardor, might I mention that I've been a porn star. And it was released on VHS & DVD, nationwide Everybody and their cousin has been an Internet pr0n star, but how many of you are available on magnetic or optical media?

Oh, and before I send response messages, I look at the questions you've answered.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You match me at 85%+ and no more than 15% enemy
You live in or around san Francisco
You need a personal chef
You're GGG
You're fun, friendly & respectful.
You're allergic to lies.
You're a couple (or more!) looking to +1
You are a tall ectomorphic polyamorous bisexual or at least heteroflexible musician. Named Chris.
I know, weird, but I've collected 5 in the last year. And they've all been awesome. This isn't a required qualification tho.

You've sent Trader Joe's a message complaining about the "mirepoix" travesty as a result of reading the rant on my profile.

You are comfortably & ethically nonmonogamous. and I don't mean because you don't tell your partner. Really extremely serious about that.

You are queer, kink, and sex-positive , but you aren't sleazy about it.

You have an iPhone. Over 80% of my successful OKc interactions turn out to be people with iPhones. No idea why.

You play a mean game of Scrabble, or Words with Friends, or Letterpress.

You'll karaoke at the drop of a hat.

You like giving massages.
You've wiki'd Aspergers Syndrome

You are a swing or lindy hop lead. I'm a damn good follow, who happens to be almost 6' tall. It's kind of a drag. Looking for a dance date.

Burning Man veterans are welcome. Drive by Shooting Range? The year Xara blew away? If these things ring any bells...drop me a line. And if you've been going for more than ten years, I might even already know you.

You've carefully read my profile, and think you're someone I want to know.

You think I'm awesome. Life is too short for lukewarm dating. I don't date people who aren't really into me, please, don't think you need to do me any favors. On the other hand, enthusiasm is very attractive. Almost as hot as confidence.

Pick 3 or more & drop me a line.