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59 El Cerrito, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 48-68
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 12:51pm
6' 0" (1.83m)
Body Type
Not at all
Atheism and laughing about it
Post grad
Doesn’t have kids
Has cats
English (Fluently), German (Somewhat), French (Somewhat), Italian (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Perhaps I should lie about my age?...everyone seems to round off to 55.

Grew up in Berkeley 1960-
I have worked as an Alexander teacher, opera-singer and librarian.
Was married for 12 years, helped raise two stepkids.

Good News:
I am funny, bright, affectionate, tactile, and odd.

After two, much too long, relationships I am trying to reconnect with my romantic/erotic potential. I really want a loving, long term partner, but I know I have to be more open, fearless and available to make progress in that direction.

Some Bad News:
I am officially disabled due to vision trouble, but am working towards employment again.

I offer nothing in the way of money, property or prestige. Not about to have my picture taken at Macchu Picchu.

Uncategorized News:
I am too old to try to pass for normal/ordinary. My ex-spouse once described me as a 'heterosexual femme top,' I recently described myself to an OKC member as 'A goddess-addled lust-puppy.' While I don't think either label is perfect, it should give some sense of how out of step I feel among 'straight' people.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Lost 75% of my sight in 2012. Emergency surgery saved what is left, but my finances and work prospects were ruined.

I have landed in the remains of the safety net, and I don't believe I will be stuck here forever.

I read, study, work out, cook, shop etc. I share a great deal with my large circle of friends. And of course, I'm looking for a loving partner.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Finding absurd comedy in everyday life.
Researching, problem solving, information seeking, listening, touching, kissing.....

Singing and acting were work, but I was good enough to get by professionally.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Probably my voice, I'm often asked if I work in radio.
My height; I am just six feet tall, but people tend to overestimate that. 28 years of Alexander Technique probably accounts for that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Music: Lester Young:
Sidney Bechet,
Louis Armstrong:
Bird, Monk, Ellington (the two-bass and Blanton/Webster bands, not the kitschy 'suites' from the 50s) Zoot Sims, Pee Wee Russell. Songs by Schubert, Brahms, Alec Wilder, Strayhorn. And so on.
Opera: Fidelio, Mozart/DaPonte, late Verdi, Rosenkavalier. And so on.

Films: Notorious/Bound (I'm linking them because both hinge on surrender to trust, love and desire), The Third Man (I used to identify with Holly Martins, now I recognize him as a schmuck) Hannah and Her Sisters, 'M,' Fargo, Miller's Crossing, A Serious Man (not Barton Fink, No Country for Old Men). Anything by John Sayles, anything with Natasha Richardson, Jean Arthur or Helen Mirren. And so on. Finally saw 'Wings of Desire,' certainly worth including here.

Rewatched Kieslowski's 'Three Colors' and I'm overwhelmed again...

Currently binge-watching 'Fargo' the series.

Dipping into Jo Nesbø, for genre fiction, and Paul Offit's 'Bad Faith.'

Recently:Finished Mary Karr's 'Lit.' and Sarah Hepola's 'Blackout.'
The first a little odd-tasting, though I'll read her other memoirs. Hepola's tale is on a level with Carolyn Knapp, a hugely brave story of alcohol, with the especial focus on women and sex. Terribly sad, though she is funny and frank throughout.

Old favorites: Aubrey/Maturin, Orwell (esp. the collected letters and essays) Pratchett, Chandler etc.
Finished 'Sex at Dawn.' While not entirely convincing about the authors' notions of human behavior, it IS convincing in showing how unreliable our assumptions about 'natural' behavior really are. The book is much too long and sloppy for its message.

Web: 'Arts and Letters Daily,' 'Butterflies and Wheels.' 'Greta Christina,' Dawkins, Slate etc.

Food: love multiple varieties, used to cook for spouse and kids. Nowadays I have to eat pretty stringently low-carbohydrate, which makes dining a poor bonding activity.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I've lived without a lot of things at various times. Things I never want to miss again:
The company of a loving fellowship of friends.
Freedom from the need to drink.
Music (I may even play or sing again)
My odd family.
The affection and desire of a loving partner.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Men and women, the toxic atmosphere that keeps us from being kind, fearless, and loving to one another when desire enters the picture.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I'm home about eight, just me and my radio.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Apparently, the most shocking fact I can reveal is that I cannot drive. I tried for a while in my twenties, and you can all be grateful I gave up on it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You DON'T have a picture of yourself at Machu Picchu, or riding an elephant.
If you actually would like to meet. The language of singles ads just doesn't convey enough for us to know what to make of each other.
A simple, safe meeting, with lots of convenient exits for discrete escape, ought to be a reasonable thing.
PS: the 'I'm looking for' is too rigid about age ranges and intentions, please don't feel excluded by the numbers or roles.