Alright, I've spent enough time NOT filling this out that I probably should give everyone the skinny.

I love hyperbole. I'm exceedingly optimistic these days thanks to an epiphany back in the Summer of last year that life didn't have to suck, and have since turned my life around. I like to think I'm outgoing and goofy, with a splash of class and a penchant for perfectly punctuating puns throughout a conversation.

Also, alliterative.

I solemnly swear I aim to misbehave.

I'm essentially working towards professional acting at this point. "OH MAN, AN ACTOR IN LOS ANGELES, NO WAY" I hear the more sarcastic of you cry. Indeed, dear reader, this is the truth. In my late-night hours, I tend to the needs of the many as the graveyard clerk at a Best Western. This affords me such fantastic stories as naked old men throwing chairs out windows, drunken dwarves offering their friends to me for sexual favors in return for a cheaper room, y'know, the standard stuff.

That said, other career paths I have attempted: Police officer, chef (trained at Le Cordon Bleu in Pasadena), English teacher and amateur psychologist.

Ideal career choices from least to greatest: Psychologist. Actor. Sherlock Holmes. Batman.

Also, I got my eyes pew-pew'd back in July, and I've lost 50 pounds in the last half-year and some change. It's made me quite happy about being proactive in my life.

Giving all-caps motivational speeches. I also dabble in cookery, mimicry, therapy and trivial... ity? Damn, thought I'd get all those. Oh well.

I love to engage in some particularly invigorating conversation, and basically get along with just about anyone to some degree at this point. I look for the good in everyone, not just those who can benefit me personally, and try to make a new friend at every outing.

Ich bin sonderbar.

I tend to dress up no matter what the occasion is. I can't help but embrace my inner Barney Stinson.

... Alright, I have a crap ton of geeky t-shirts, too. But hey, TeeFury and Shirt.Woot are KINDA amazing like that.

Alright... You asked for it.

Books: Shakespeare is my literary giant of choice. Other literary geniuses (or genii, if you subscribe to that pluralization) that I worship: Neil Gaiman, Michael Crichton, Christopher Moore, Charles Bukowski (if I feel like drinking), Alton Brown (yes, I know they're cook books, but there's also a few he's written on general cookery knowledge) and Harold McGee. Wil Wheaton is a personal favorite blogger who has written books, too, so... He goes on here. Also, great guy in person.

Movies: Hoo boy. Here's where it gets messy. So, okay, I am absolutely head-over-heels in love with movies. IN LOVE. Like, I can't get enough. I'll give almost any movie a try, as I love bad movies almost as much as genuinely good ones -- IF they're so bad that they're good.
My top three movies of 2012 are ARGUABLY: Cabin in the Woods, Dredd, Seven Psychopaths. If you didn't see at least one of those, you're bad and you should feel bad. /Zoidberg
As for all time, well... It's quite a list. But I'll narrow it down to just a handful: The Princess Bride, Excalibur, the Indiana Jones TRILOGY (particularly Last Crusade, what fourth movie?), Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, Sideways, Clerks, Groundhog Day, Labyrinth, The Crow, The Fifth Element, The Big Lebowski, Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein, Face/Off (seriously, such a good bad movie), Enter the Dragon, Network, Withnail & I, Platoon, uh... Hell, I'm just gonna stop it here before it gets TOO crazy.

TV: Shows I'm into that are still on-going: Doctor Who, Breaking Bad, Community, Archer, Castle, Young Justice, Venture Bros., Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated (seriously, it's friggin' amazingly self-aware. HIGHLY recommend it.),
Shows I'm into that have long since passed: Mystery Science Theater 3000, Black Books, Fawlty Towers, Blackadder, Firefly, Star Trek: TNG (all other are just fine to me), Scrubs, The Addams Family, The Munsters, The Twilight Zone, All in the Family, House M.D., Freakazoid!, Agatha Christie's Poirot... Ugh, yeah, there are too many of these, too.

Music: Lately I've been listening to a lot of jazz and blues, so Tom Waits is probably number one in my musical selection. However, I'm pretty varied in terms of what I regularly listen to. Metal, classical, techno and movie scores all tend to have high play count rates in my Last.fm. So, a list: Tom Waits, Bohren & Der Club of Gore, Dio, Blind Guardian, Tenacious D, Chopin, Mozart, Daft Punk, DJ Shadow, scores by Danny Elfman (also, Oingo Boingo), Alan Silvestri and Clint Mansell.

Food: Love it. Love to eat it. Love to try new stuff to eat. You stick it me way, I'll give it a try. Especially if spicy. An entire shelf of my fridge is dedicated to hot sauces.

1: Internets. Well, I could probably make due with a good set of encyclopedias, but... Eh.
2: Companionship. Like The Doctor, I do my best work when I'm not on my lonesome.
3: My spice rack. I'd never get any cooking done were it not for my ever-expanding collection of spices and seasonings.
4: Batman. Just... Batman.
5: Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
6: Panache. It's the way I try to live my life.

If I want to get heavy, existence. How friggin' AWESOME it is that we exist, and how we exist to begin with. How, despite our own misconceptions on reality and existence, we're all made of the same stuff as everything around us. Hydrogen, oxygen, helium, carbon -- we're made of the most abundant elements in the known universe, and that, right there? Is beautiful to me. I don't need to believe in some fairytale Bronze-age campfire story of divine beings popping us down on the earth waiting to punish us. I love the simple facts more than the simple truths.

If I want to get light, definitely stories in general. Movies, TV, graphic novels, stories are what make humanity so utterly fascinating to me. The fact that we may tell a story about our life that's distinctly unique in our minds, and someone on the other side of the world at some point in time has told the exact same story. Shit, I got heavy again. Uh... um... MAGNETO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT AGAINST DARTH VADER.

Out and about, most likely. Having a movie night, going to a bar with friends, or just sitting at home getting some personal stuff done. I'm pretty open with that.

I'm willing to answer any and all queries with the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me, me.

Also, I'm a Humanist, which I wish I could put on the Religion panel, because "Other" makes me sound like I'm in Alan Moore's snake worshipping cult.

If any of these sound like an ideal date to you: http://irc.peeron.com/xkcd/dates.html

If not, you're more than welcome to shoot your ideal date idea my way. Or if you just want to say hi; preferably more than JUST sending "Hi" my way.