Issuing supreme power to you...one moment.

My self-summary Propose an edit

One of my best friends once told me that my style of joke-telling was like a "Mean Jerry Seinfeld" - the punch-lines are pretty much the same, but instead of saying "What's the deal with...", I'd say "You know what your problem is?" I don't believe I've ever actually told anybody what their problem is, but his point, nevertheless, remains valid.

I'd probably be best described as smart, sarcastic, and funny (I mean, that's what all the cool kids are saying)... I actually tried to put those as my three OKCupid adjectives that nobody pays attention to, but I was informed that they were too generic, or some such nonsense. I then tried to bribe OKCupid with a lifetime supply of chocolate, but was rebuffed when it pointed out that a computer algorithm couldn't use a lifetime supply of chocolate. Then I stopped making references to Gene Wilder flicks.

This account has been languishing unused for the better part of two years. I'm updating it in my spare time, but a bunch of the stuff is out of date. Like the photos. But don't let that scare you off - impossible as it may seem, I'm even *better* looking now. My dog though... man, two years living with my mom has not been kind to his hair color...

What I'm doing with my life Propose an edit

Law studenting it up, hitting the gym, digitally rocking out, drinking and stealing and smoking in a non-smoking area (note to people who read "smoking" think I'm being serious - I'm not), engaging in copious numbers of terrorist fist jabs, and exploring the tao of awesomeness

I'm really good at Propose an edit

Analyzing movies (though sometimes I need a kick start); political arguments; making people laugh at themselves; respecting stuff; one-liners; grammar; driving; math; obsessing over language use and etymology; making lame lawyer jokes about 'consideration' and 'negligence''; knowing which side one's chest to put a name tag on (hint: its your right side); being a complete and total asshole (but a very funny one); and, pretty much, everything I have ever attempted ;)

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me Propose an edit

That I'm busy taking the piss out of them (Brit slang rules so much more hardcore than American slang), even though I just met them like 12 seconds ago.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food Propose an edit

All-Time Top 5 Books: The Book of Daniel, Catch-22, High Fidelity, The Grapes of Wrath, The Brethren

All-Time Top 5 Movies: A Life Less Ordinary, Casablanca, Star Wars, It's A Wonderful Life, Bull Durham

All-Time Top 5 Albums: Pet Sounds, Rumors, It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back, OK Computer, Born to Run

All-Time Top 5 TV Shows: The State, Futurama, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Seinfeld, Sports Night

The six things I could never do without Propose an edit

Baseball, a towel, friends with thick skin and good senses of humor, a bottle of red burgundy, free speech, and a nice stretch of open road

I spend a lot of time thinking about Propose an edit

Politics, social justice, and economic fairness. How to try and structure an economic system to run efficiently, without letting people fall through the cracks. How high a social safety net there should be, what it should cover, and how to enact these policies (both legislatively and electorially). The nature of economic populism in politics, and how the Democratic party can recapture the plains states.

All that, and how to most effectively be an asshole. I think I'm a bit better at figuring out that last one.

On a typical Friday night I am Propose an edit

Man, I don't think I've had a typical Friday night in years... I need to start having those again...

The most private thing I'm willing to admit here Propose an edit

After winning Super Bowl XIII, Chuck Noll said of his Super Bowl ring: "You push a button and the top of the ring flips up. Inside there's a tiny tape recorder and you get to hear Tom Landry bitching."

Chuck Noll is my new hero.

You should message me if Propose an edit

If you think I'd be interested in meeting you (I mean, you'd clearly be interested in meeting me, so that part's taken care of ;)

There are four things that make a woman truly sexy: confidence, intelligence, a sense of humor, and personality. If you've got all that, then I'd love to hear from you.

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