I am fit, even-tempered, humourous, loyal, adventurous, crazy, grounded, often social, sometimes reclusive, sarcastic, somewhat cynical, restless; a poet, DJ and classically trained (lapsed) musician (clarinet/piano/saxophone); and an incurable insomniac. Unfortunately (to quote U2), "I still haven't found what I'm looking for." I promise, no manipulative head games, codependence, boring monologues about the banal details of my day, or anger at unmet unvoiced expectations (thanks Caroline).

I watch TV infrequently these days, and turn it off when it's time to give my partner attention (when it's on, it's often just background noise). Although I enjoy an occasional MLB, NFL, or NBA game, I don't miss them when I miss them (I love playoffs, however). But curling up on the couch in front of the idiot box with a dog or a lady-friend is cool sometimes, too, isn't it?

I really stink at dancing in clubs--since age fourteen I've been behind the decks, not on the floor--but I took ballroom dancing lessons a long time ago and own my own tux, and if you are patient and willing to reeducate me, I could probably dance a passable waltz, cha cha, merengue, 16-step, and a couple others, without bruising your toes. Regardless, if we're in a club together, and you're on the floor, shakin' your groove thang, I might cheer you on from the sidelines, chat up the DJ, or even join you, but I won't be a killjoy. After all, the whole point is to cherish time spent together.
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I'm willing to consider moving at whatever point that becomes an issue in a committed relationship; actually, I would welcome the opportunity, provided I'm within roughly an hour of Western Mass, where my daughter resides. I spend as much time as I can with her.

I work in social services by day as a direct care worker with at-risk teens, and I'm a DJ by night, wherever and whenever opportunities present themselves. Along the way, I've spun in NYC, Atlantic City, greater Chicago, Boston, Cape Cod, Hartford and Coastal and Southern CT, and the Hamptons, happy to be responsible for others' desire to dance and enjoy themselves. At the moment, I have a DJ residency at a club in a seedier section of a modestly-sized city (Springfield, MA), and am often featured on/podcasted from an SF radio station. I was recently named the official gametime DJ for the Springfield Armor, the NBA Developmental League's newest franchise (farm team for the Knicks, Nets, and 76ers).

I'm getting back into road biking; hunting for a new sensei with whom to resume my Iaido training after years of inactivity; exploring Buddhist and Taoist philosophy; attempting to relearn Russian with Rosetta Stone discs; shopping my resume around looking for greater pay/stability within social services/education; and entertaining the idea of a Spring DJs' tour of East Coast colleges with buds from Barcelona and SF. I'm attempting, in fits and starts, to evolve into a better father, friend, and human.

I've been separated since Feb '08, conversing with my "ex" only as necessary for the welfare/rearing of our daughter, who lives with her mother but spends time with me most weekends; the divorce process continues and, because we're using a mediator rather than the courts, the goal is to have it all concluded by autumn's end (somehow, these sad things take a surpising amount of time to finalise!). If you need to know how/why it came to this and why there's definitely no hope for reconciliation, I will gladly tell you once we begin corresponding.

cooking, listening, massages; kissing; empathy; baking cakes from scratch; making mixtapes; finding common ground with most; laughing in the face of peril; procrastinating; putting my foot in my mouth; believing my own hype; keeping my seven year-old from killing herself during her wildly inventive & dangerous schemes; rockin' a party of any genre and any demographic all. night. long.

Oh, yeah, poetry/spoken word too: maybe you Boston-area folk have seen me at the Cantab or Lizard Lounge at some point?

chess, frisbee, softball/baseball, Monopoly, rummy, Scrabble, Risk, Trivial Pursuit, Boggle, SNES Super Mario Brothers, Tekken, Street Fighter 2, etc.

My hair, hats, clothes, and voice.

BOOKS: poetry by Buchowski, Neruda, Snyder, Donne, Rimbaud & Coleridge; novels by Pahlanuik, Gaiman, Barker, King, Cornwell, Patterson, RB Parker, Tolkien, Bradbury, Silverberg, Feist, JK Rowling, AC Clarke, OS Card, Anne Rice, Harry Harrison, Dan Simmons, Susan Cooper, Heinlein; "Flowers for Algernon"; mythology; "hard" sci-fi; Lone Wolf and Cub manga; and oh, just check my goodreads.com page.

MOVIES: Earthlings, Casablanca, An Affair of Love (Une liaison pornographique), Amélie, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Pi, The Incredibles, The Matrix, The Pillow Book, Braveheart, Fight Club, Se7en, Event Horizon, Cube, Slumdog Millionaire, Devil's Advocate, Kill Bill II, House of Flying Daggers, Defending Your Life, Harold & Maude, the Taming of the Shrew, Silence of the Lambs . . .

MUSIC: I'm a bloody DJ--I have to love, or at least tolerate, it all--country, showtunes, opera, and adult contemporary included. Among the favourites: Paganini (primarily his 24 Caprices), Wagner (especially Gotterdamerung), Shoskatovich, Queensryche, Crystal Method, Bjork, Iron Maiden, Pantera, Tori, Melissa, Sarah, Ani, Hendrix, Peter Gabriel, nine inch nails, Leonard Cohen, Public Enemy, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Prince, Lords of Acid, Sasha & Digweed, Sade, Coltrane, Herbie Hancock, Peter Tosh, Buju Banton, Rakim, Jay-Z, Tool, Portishead, Immortal Technique, Ofra Haza, Radiohead, Nusrat Ali Fateh Khan, Stevie Wonder, Barry freakin' Manilow . . . Musica es mi vida. Mon vie et music. я обожаю развлечение.

FOOD/DRINK: salads, cold Szechuan noodles, dim sum, sushi/sashimi, kombucha, sake, microbrews, Kentucky bourbon, & champagne are my favourites. Gewúrztraminer and hearty reds, too. I was a vegetarian for nearly two years back in the early '90s, and dated a vegan last year, so if you're vegetarian or vegan, you'll probably be able to lure me back to the dark side without much of a struggle (when in Rome, I do as the Romans!). I can make a few good tofu dishes from memory (I think), as well.

Please. I'm a survivor, baby: if I have not-too-scummy water and mobility (and a GPS, maybe?), believe me, I'll get to, and obtain, the rest, or deal with my lot in life.

But without these, I'd be most despondent: my daughter's love; a job (or five); music; self-respect; wits; intimacy

my daughter's happiness/success; music and the blight that is Clear Channel; the need for more education for myself; the need for better education/more options for children; whether I'm giving my all with the kids who are my clients; how to eclipse the crappier DJs and get my name out there; why we can't do away with the personal stories time of Jeopardy (leaving room for Triple Jeopardy, where the scores could really change) . . .

Reading to my daughter, putting her to bed, then driving carefullly to spend time with friends, or DJ.
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Incidentally, neither my daughter nor I seeks a replacement for my ex in her life, merely someone who will treat her with respect when they (eventually) meet her, and with affection and a willingness to have her around, if things progress further.

Thirteen years ago, I was keyboardist/backing vocalist in a Prince cover band. We disbanded when our guitarist disappeared after selling most of our equipment for drugs.

I served eleven years (inclusively) in US Army Intelligence, Reserves, and Inactive Ready Reserves (none of it abroad), and held Secret and Top Secret clearances. I'm unashamed that I served, but I don't wear it like a badge of honour, either; the kid who made the decision to enlist two decades ago is not the person I am today, by any stretch of the imagination.

Due to insomnia (and wilfulness), I seldom sleep at appropriate or sensible times, and tend to snore when I do sleep (I'm working on it).

I was voted Class Clown my senior year of high school--I can be goofy as hell. I am rarely embarrassed or offended, but don't think that I embarrass or offend others often.

You want to meet in person.

You know that 'nice guy' is not synonymous with 'boring'.

You have the self-confidence to stick to your guns and possess opinions, no matter how unpopular they might be. You're willing to change your opinion in the face of new data; possess the humility to admit when you're wrong and learn from mistakes, and the have faith to believe that others can do the same; enjoy comfortable silences and spirited dialogue; and will share what's on your mind, in your heart, or in your iPod. You are: are educated in acaemic matters and rich with life experiences; intelligent, forthright, and contemptuous of mind games. You enjoy humor, sarcasm, and irony. You recognise the difference between being compassionate and being spineless; you listen, and because you communicate and don't intend me to read your mind, expect me to listen to you, too. You care less about the size of one's bank account than the size of one's heart. You're kind, gentle, and personable, even if few know it. You thirst for new music, perspectives, experiences, and vistas . . . and won't necessarily abandon the old for the new, but rather, add the new to the sum.

You value time spent together, regardless of whether it's early or late, awake or asleep, weekend or weekday, public or private, fancy or pedestrian.

You're interested in being friends with my friends, and letting me be friends with yours.

You shake off society's programming in your search for freedom, trust and mutual acceptance re sexual intimacy.

This makes sense to you: Want ad
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. . . and although I'm not looking for perfection (considering clearly, I'm flawed, myself), it's not only about what's inside: you're reasonably fit, and you don't need me to tell you you're foxey (although I will)--you already know it yourself . . .