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31 Aurora, CO Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21-35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Oct 7
5' 11" (1.81m)
Body Type
Average build
Working on Space camp
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs
English (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Summer time is my time. BBQs, music festivals, camping, and floating down rivers is the life. The only problem is that I don't have anybody to do it with.

I moved to Denver from Arkansas sometime ago. It's been awesome so far. Absolutely no regrets. I would love to get to know some people now that I made the move.

I give zero fucks about online dating. If you like or message me you will probably get a long winded but funny response in return. I'm putting in this disclaimer beacuse I notice a lot of girls erase their profiles after I talk to them. They know they can't compete with my awesome comedy skillz yo.

I gots my red card so 420 friendly is a must.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Tearing up a pair of nunchucks, backing up trailers, eating all my food as well as what you can't finish, making a stupid face in every picture, and using hyperbole like a billion times a day.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I'm in their back yard.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Crossroads, Brazil, Visioneers, The Big Labowski, Idiocracy, A Scanner Darkly, Scott Pilgrim, and The Ice Pirates to name a few movies. You should watch (or read) The Road.

I don't watch tv beacuse it will rot your brain. Instead I just binge watch Netflix and play video games all day. This is somehow different and makes me a better person for reasons.

Favorite books: The Phone Book by Bell Telephone INC, and Train Spotting. It's not incomprehensible at all.

As far as music goes I listen to a lot of different things.

Anything from screaming ass death metal like lamb of god, chimara, IWABO, and strapping young lad to prog rock bands like OSI, Dream theater, Porcupine Tree and Umphrey's McGee. Album of the year for the last 3 years is "Sounds of a Playground Fading" by In Flames. I'm looking forward to the new Alice in Chains and Sevendust albums. They just can't be released fast enough. I can't stand pop or country, which is weird because I'm working on starting a metal/country fusion band. I've never heard a lady gaga or justin beiber song and I aims to keep it that way.

On a side note I've probably seen more than one band on your list live several times. I list the metal bands and prog rock because it's more abrasive and has been an issue before.

I made a giant baked ziti once just so I wouldn't have to cook again for a week. Yeah I make my own sauce. What of it? I gave some of it to some friends and they still rave about it. My enchiladas are fire as well. And my stir fry and my chicken pot pie. The list goes on.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Belt (or surgical tubing in a "pinch") no pun intended
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why every profile on this site says the same thing. Oh so you work for a non profit while you climb a mountain one handed for a living. Oh sorry I misread that. That's just what you did last weekend to celebrate getting your 2nd doctorate in teaching impoverished autistic children how to skydive. Well once I beat a guy at smash brothers one handed because my phone was ringing and he said no pausies. I was all like "oh really?"

Also when I bring home a bag of dog food does my dog think I hunted it?

Instead of auto correct they should call it "ha ha now go proofread that shit".

Do people not realize that when they post a screen capture from their IPhone that it has their real name in the corner?

Hey I really like that pic of you where you are waaay out of frame. I totally can't tell that you cropped out your ex at all.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Listening to music in my back yard and shooting lasers at puppies while doing a jay.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I thought it said the most pirate thing. Yarrrrg I'm illiterate!

That that is is. That that is not is not. That that is not is not that that is. Is that not it? It is.

I'm such a huge nerd that I own a lab coat with my name stitched into it and a black mesa security badge with my face on it.

I can't remember the last time I clipped my toe nails. This might be because I smoke a lot of pot.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I could spend a large chunk of my time picking out the code words in people's profiles and writing out long personalized messages and still get nothing in return. That's what I call desperation and that's not what I'm all about. If you want to get to know me then it's up to you to make the first move. Unless I already made the first move then if I were you I would make the second move. That way a third or even fourth move could be made by me OR even you. Just know that I don't DO fifth moves. Sorry it's just not gonna happen. Unless it does. What the fuck was I talking about? Oh yeah moves. I only got one move and that's the robot. Nuff said.

I'm on steam as Necronamatron if anybody cares.

Or if you just want to say hi. So many people seem to be against that these days.

OK fine some fat chicks.