Books

I tend to like novels, fantasy, children's books, surrealism, philosophy, and nature writing. Roald Dahl is my favorite author. The first book I remember loving is Chicka Chicka Boom Boom; the first I remember disliking is Goodnight Moon (the old lady whispering hush freaked me the fuck out).

Mademoiselle de Maupin, Harriet the Spy, Lolita, The 13 Clocks, War & Peace, The Neverending Story, The Adventures of Ingenious Alfanhui, 1001 Nights, The Fountainhead (because it's a damn good story), 1984, A Little Princess, Breakfast of Champions, James & the Giant Peach, The Iliad, The Day of the Locust, The Elegance of the Hedgehog, Norwegian Wood, The Hunchback of Notre Dame,  King Lear, Fahrenheit 451, Tuck Everlasting, The Sorrows of Young Werther, A Little Princess, The Patchwork Girl of Oz, Mrs. Dalloway, 101 Dalmatians, The Red & the Black, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, The Catcher in the Rye, The Funny Thing, Ahab's Wife, Lizzie Bright and the Buckminster Boy, The Last Unicorn, The Crucible, Ender's Game, Animal Farm, Girl, Interrupted, The Little Prince, Snow Country, Where the Red Fern Grows, The Once and Future King, Alice Through the Looking-Glass, A Confederacy of Dunces, Neuromancer... 

Comics

Little Nemo in Slumberland, Calvin & Hobbes, Amphigorey, Watchmen, Clover, Gunslinger Girl, Nana

Movies

A Thousand Clowns, The Fall, Survive Style 5+, L'Illusionniste, Gladiator, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Fifth Element, Hamlet (Kenneth Branagh version), Mozart and the Whale, The Dark Knight, The Thief and the Cobbler, World's Greatest Dad, Leon The Professional, Tomboy, I Love You Phillip Morris, Withnail and I, Grosse Pointe Blank, Ever After, Harold & Maude, Cruel Intentions, Cast Away, La Belle et la Bête, Mary Poppins, 3:10 to Yuma, Lady and the Tramp, Apt Pupil, Dan in Real Life, Zoolander, Falling Down, Fired Up!, The Graduate, Se7en, Romeo + Juliet, Strawberry Shortcakes, The Iron Giant, Pulp Fiction, Harvey (1950), True Romance, The Hours, Snatch, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, A Clockwork Orange, Cold Mountain, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, The Two Towers, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Princess Mononoke, Stranger than Fiction, I'm Not Rappaport, Fantasia, Eternal Sunshine...

TV
Community, Arrested Development, Sherlock, Daria, True Blood, Flight of the Conchords, Firefly, The Colbert Report; Honey & Clover, Nodame Cantabile, Natsume Yuujinchou, Samurai Champloo, Mushishi, Durarara!!, Baccano!, FLCL, Black Lagoon

Music

I like something in every general genre. I'm fond of ones like dream pop and nouvelle chanson. My favorite sort seems to be strange, gentle and/or dramatic music with heavy blues, bluegrass, or folk influences. Lyrics matter. I like the Smashing Pumpkins, Perfume, and Steam Powered Giraffe for their music videos.

Rather: I'm not sure WHAT I like anymore. A lot of the music I used to like, I've listened to so many times over the past decade that I can't even judge or much care anymore. I kept on going odder and odder and I seem to have hit an impasse with Cocorosie. I grew to love Cocorosie so much that I listened to everything a million times and in that time never found anything I liked better. I don't know where to go from here; nothing seems to jump out at me.

Artists I Definitely Like: Floex, Sneaker Pimps - Becoming X, Nick Drake, Emiliana Torrini - Fisherman's Woman, The Indelicates, Rage Against the Machine, Beirut, Dean Martin, Larkin Grimm, Goldfrapp - Felt Mountain, Margot & the Nuclear So and So's, Sergei Rachmaninov, Alela Diane, Mariee Sioux - Faces in the Rocks, Marissa Nadler, Rio En Medio, Aphex Twin (mostly the softer stuff like Avril 14th, Flim, etc.), 

OK: PJ Harvey, Skip James, Jason Webley, Múm, Regina Spektor, Corinne Bailey Rae, Rza, Adam Hurst, Françoiz Breut,  Fiona Apple, Radiohead, Mika, Мумий Тролль, The Dø, Gustav, Neutral Milk Hotel, Franz Liszt, Die Romantik, The National, Los Rakas, Jolie Holland, Morcheeba, Ayo, The Afghan Whigs, Rita Pavone, Bonnie 'Prince' Billy, Amel Larrieux, Leonard Cohen, Takagi Masakatsu, Susanna and the Magical Orchestra, Niko Valkeapaa, Oh Land, Couer de Pirate, Mark Growden, Ben Folds Five, The Dresden Dolls (note: Amanda is a douche),  Fatoumata Diawara, Cathy Davey, Bob Dylan, Martina Topley-Bird, クラムボン, Camille, Poe, Drunken Tiger, Metric, Lovage, べべチオ, Garbage, Veruca Salt, Nirvana, System of a Down

I already got over Portishead and Morcheeba and stuff so hard...

Games

I love games of just about every sort: tag, Scrabble, Tetris Attack, soccer, hangman on napkins, limerick-making, Smash Brothers, basketball, William Tell, wasabi-eating contests...whatever, let's play! (When it comes to making things up, using skills, or competing, I'll do just about anything. ...actually, I can be convinced to do just about anything, period.)

Chrono Trigger, Pokemon, DDR, WarCraft, StarCraft, Final Fantasy Tactics, Animal Crossing, Katamari Damacy, ooold EQ, Machinarium, shooting games, fighting games, game games

Comedians

I mean this is already in its own entry. Why not?

Emo Phillips, Stewart Lee, Louis CK, Donald Glover, David Cross, Mitch Hedburg, Bill Hicks, George Carlin, Demetri Martin, Gabriel Iglesias, John Mulaney...and I could go on because comedians are another thing that I adore almost without judgment. Almost!

"Some centuries ago they had Raphael and Michael Angelo; now we have Mr. Paul Delaroche, and all because we are progressing.

You brag of your Opera houses; ten Opera houses the size of yours could dance a saraband in a Roman amphitheatre. Even Mr. Martin, with his lame tiger and his poor gouty lion, as drowsy as a subscriber to the Gazette, cuts a pretty small figure by the side of a gladiator from antiquity. What are your benefit performances, lasting till two in the morning, compared with those games which lasted a hundred days, with those performances in which real ships fought real battles on a real sea; when thousands of men earnestly carved each other -- turn pale, O heroic Franconi! -- when, the sea having withdrawn, the desert appeared, with its raging tigers and lions, fearful supernumeraries that played but once; when the leading part was played by some robust Dacian or Pannonian athlete, whom it would often have been might difficult to recall at the close of the performance, whose leading lady was some splendid and hungry lioness of Numidia starved for three days? Do you not consider the clown elephant superior to Mlle. Georges? Do you believe Taglioni dances better than did Arbuscula, and Perrot better than Bathyllus? Admirable as is Bocage, I am convinced Roscius could have given him points. Galeria Coppiola played young girls' parts, when over one hundred years old; it is true that the oldest of our leading ladies is scarcely more than sixty, and that Mlle. Mars has not even progressed in that direction. The ancients had three or four thousand gods in whom they believed, and we have but one, in whom we scarcely believe. That is a strange sort of progress. Is not Jupiter worth a good deal more than Don Juan, and is he not a much greater seducer? By my faith, I know not what we have invented, or even wherein we have improved."

If you want to know what having a conversation with me is like, I now have the answer.

Me: It never pours here.
The clouds kind of fling down rain as if sprinkling sugar on french toast. 
Powdered sugar.
But rain.
Not snow.
...~abandons her simile~
Friend: I HATE French toast.
Me: WHAT?!!!
Friend: It's all eggy and gross.
I hate it...hate it..hate it.
Me: I love mushy food.
Friend: Evidently.
I dislike mush.
I even have issues with oatmeal.
And I like oatmeal mostly.
Me: I eat oatmeal every morning!
I think I LOVE mush!!
Friend: You DO!
If you love mush so much why doncha marry it?!
Me: MAYBE I WILL.
SQUISH SQUISH SQUISH
That's the sound of my honeymoon.
Friend: I want to wear marshmallows to the wedding!
Me: WHAAT?!
Friend: Um....that's the GROSSEST thing I've EVER heard!
"Squish, squish, squish" indeed!
I didn't need the image of a big, burly, nearly-burnt, piece of fleshy, floppy Frenchified toast dripping in syrup and powdered white stuff humping your crotch..
I could have lived without it.
*squish squish squish*
*shudder*
Me: OHHh...OHHhh...OHHHH!!! I LOVE BREAKFAST IN BED!
Friend: And suddenly you bite off his ear.
And lick the crust.
Me: "What did you say?"
"WHERE'S THE SYRUP."
"COMINGG!!"
Friend: "Crust" is NOT a word one wants to hear whilst making whoopee.
Me: ...no. No indeed.
Friend: Clotted cream? Anyone?
Me: "MAPPLLLEE!!!"
"...ARE YOU SEEING SOMEONE ELSE?!!
Friend: I've got a banana on my face....anyone?
A couple strawberry slices! You yank them off his face...they WERE his eyes...and place them on your taataas.
What flavor syrup do you favor?
Or does HE favor?
I guess it would initially be up to him...just like condom flavor.
Me: I like maple...it's gonna be maple, or he's getting a FORKING.
Friend: A bad one.
..this would be INSANELY sticky...you realize?
You're NEVER going to get your mattress clean.
You'll have to toss it out.
And not like a salad.
Me: I can handle it...the clotted cream will smooth things out.
Friend: Well...smoothing and cleaning are not synonymous.
Me: We'll um, put a towel down.
Friend: It'd better be a TARP!
And you'd better have hardwood floors.....
Me: ...maybe I'd better stick with eating out. By which I meant HIM eating ME out STICKILY.
Friend: I'm thinking that is is a better idea..less grinding into the mattress...however....a big SOPPING, (probably pre-ejectulating) piece of egg and milk-soaked cinnamon bread is going to be laving at your labia...on your clean (hopefully) bedlinens....
I'm thinking this is one naked thing you SHOULD do out of doors.
Me: Ewww...
EWWWW.
Let's leave the cinnamon out...
Friend: This is YOUR fan-tasty darling....it's YOUR ewww.
Me: Quit ADDING to it.
It gets SCARIER and SCARIER.
Friend: I think your french toast man should wear a bowler hat made of butter.
Me: That would be too weird...
No hats in bed!
Friend: OK...you DRAW THE LINE at a hat?
Me: I guess it would melt though...
Friend: No problem with the syrup...the misplaced bananas....the thought of fucking a slice of bread.......but butter-hats...she draws it at butter-hats.
shakes head
Me: But look, I think I'm gaining enough weight just by having him on TOP of me...I don't need to add butter to the mix.
Friend: Maybe if he eats you whilst you swing from a tree...
All that blood rushing to your head
Me: WHAT??
Friend: would hurt.
Me: It's WAY too windy!
Friend: I didn't finish that thought.
Me: Better blood rushing to my head than out my snatch!
Just imagine THAT cuisine!
Friend: OK...first we have to animate a piece of breakfast pastry....this isn't going to happen SOON.
Blood pudding.
Me: I want it IMMEDIATELY.
I want a sugar high orgasm.
Friend: Oh...god....that sounds DELIGHTFUL!
Me: I TOLD you!!!
Hat or NO!
Friend: I want one too....but I'm going to fuck a blintz instead.
Or something phallic shaped.
Me: You can have our banana.
I don't really want bananas on my french toast anyhow.
Friend: I don't want your french toast's banana smile!
Me: FINE!
Get your own damn banana!
Or maybe a LONG john!
Friend: Oooo......INDEED.
It had better be a cream filled one! None of that custard tripe!
After you do your french toast...you can wallow on a Belgian Waffle.
Have you EVER heard anyone refer to Belgians as a sexy people?
Me: I THINK I have...
Friend: That sugar orgasm?
Is that what you think you have?
Me: I WISH I had.
Hey! Send me a story!
Friend: A boy met a girl. The boy killed the girl with a pick-ax. The girl survived, despite the fact that I said she was killed, to grow into a beautiful enchantress. The beautiful enchantress cursed the boy to have an erection that only dissipated by fucking a piece of french toast and never a girl... The beautiful enchantress forbade the making of french toast throughout the kingdom. Fin.
Me: Pure art, dear, of the highest form...* o *
Friend: I knew you'd enjoy it!
Me: Though...for a french toast lover like me...rather a horror story...assuming I had to live in the kingdom.
Friend: No....now that Bushie is gone...America is not a kingdom.
Me: It was definitely time for a good WAXING.
...maybe that's why Hilary didn't win.
Friend: I really need to get to bed now.
Thanks for keeping me company, lovey!
Me: You too! Bonne nuit, ma chere!
Friend: Kk...nightynight hon!
Have fun with the french toast mon amour!
Me: squish squish
Friend: AHHHHH!!!!
NOOOO!!!!

Do you believe that gender is easily defined?

• Yeah, male and female
• Nope, the grey area is huge
• I'm not sure

I don't even know what that MEANS.