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40 M Charlotte, NC

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Trying to quit
Other, and laughing about it
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Banking / Finance
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has a kid
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Time for an update: in the year and a half since my return to singledom (singleness? singlehood? It doesn't deserve a noun), my day to day life has changed a good deal, and my priorities with it. I now have a great job that might afford me more of a social life, but I have my daughter five nights a week, making my free nights all the more valuable. I have not found it especially difficult to line up a date, but I have had little success in adding friends to my life, so I think that's where I should start as I look to encounter like minds.

That's not to say I'm opposed to dating; I'd like to have someone in my life I look forward to seeing. It's exciting to get to know a whole new person, and it's deeply satisfying to make someone happy by showing them how happy they make you.

I've learned a lot in my varied life, and (the real key) I've applied that learning. One thing I've learned is that, while I am very smart and (nearly always) very honest, it's pretty pointless to declare that, or to set it as a standard. Others need to see that for themselves, and people who are not/neither rarely admit themselves, and certainly not to others.
What I’m doing with my life
I recently started a job in Finance uptown. Last year I tried my hand at teaching; it was what I thought would be the next step in my do-gooder path. But doctor hours and janitor pay do not suit a single dad's life, and, truth be told, it made me unhappy on several levels. So I am greatly relieved to return to the 9-5 and to be doing what I have always been very good at.

2013 was still a good year in some respects: I bought a house, and got my Open Water Diver certification in Honduras (looking forward to planning some travel around keeping that going).
I’m really good at
Puzzles and such. They say Confucius does his crosswords with a pen; I solve cryptograms in my head. The key is knowing the many rules that the English language laughs at, and the few it must follow. Here's the toughest one I can remember solving:
Good fucking luck.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I talk the way I write, which is also the way I think: in complete sentences and with an effort to say it right. Might mean I pause to work out my phrasing, but the phrasing will often be interesting.

If we're talking superficial things, my eyes are a nice shade of blue.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I used to categorize my moods and the music that suited them as Power and Beauty (I used to make mix tapes with a side devoted to each); in my all-time favorites, the two qualities coexist without contradiction. But the moods persist...been in a Power mode lately. I've been especially drawn to female vocalists with (for lack of a better term) balls: Metric, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Dresden Dolls/Amanda Palmer.

I have to admit that I have not found (made?) the time to read in a while. I wouldn't say I'd read "anything", but favorites range from pulpy fiction to historical novels to technical non-fiction (physics to sociology). Last read "ReamDe" by Neal Stephenson (which was somewhat dissatisfying and prompted me to re-read Anathem)...currently have a friend's copy of "The Sociopath Next Door" in my bag (should be required reading for online dating).

I'm down with almost any movie; Inception is probably my current favorite. I retain my adolescent love of Marvel superheroes, but I compensate for this by intellectualizing them. I could write a dissertation arguing that Spider-Man is the modern equivalent of Beowulf or Achilles.

Late night cable-wandering noteworthy mentions: Big Trouble in Little China, Raising Arizona, Galaxy Quest, Idiocracy, Die Hard (the original, obviously), Searching for Bobby Fischer (!!!).

TV? Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Daily Show. Hannibal is pretty high quality stuff; the writing, acting and (strange to say about TV) directing. And, as with movies, I usually try to catch my cheezy fanboy superhero shows (Arrow, SHIELD).

I'm a pretty adventurous eater. Several years in Florida prepared me for Charlotte: I know there's no decent pizza and the Chinese will be hit or miss. But there's also some cool fusion stuff going on here. I like a place that has a dilemma-inducing menu.
The six things I could never do without
1) Family (my daughter, my seven siblings and my dad)
2) Stimuli (Music, news, art, a good story)
3) A few minutes every few hours to let my mind wander
4) GPS (I still don't know my way around this town...what's Charlotte got against straight lines?)
5) An outlet for all the beauty and humor I see in the world
6) Phone (see numbers 2 and 4)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Science, which is strangely what I taught (got my degree in Writing). I find great beauty in the way the universe works, very much including the way it dodges our attempts to understand it. Go watch this video and see if you don't get choked up:

Politics...though a lot less lately. I find it distressing that most Americans see their greatest enemies as other Americans. I probably won't bring it up if you don't.
On a typical Friday night I am
Trying to make good use of a Friday night. I've been in Charlotte about two years, and am only now finding the time to explore. I'd like to get in more outdoors fun than I have in recent years; plenty of it around, eager to check it out. There's good food too, love trying new places. Very much down for live music, love stand-up comedy.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I don't really have private things. Don't worry, I have all the tact and propriety I need; I won't spew unsolicited personal details when meeting your mom. But I answer what I'm asked, and can't recall a time when doing so presented a problem.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends
You should message me if
You're the type of woman who initiates conversations with men.

Note that I don't think I'll be proposing to anyone for a while; I'd just like to meet interesting people, and if we decide to call it a date, it's still just a date. If it works out, there may be 50 more dates over the next year, but let's begin at the beginning.

This seems to be the section where the girls demand good grammar or forbid shirtless bathroom mirror pics (by the way: that one you took with your iphone on your car dashboard because you realized your hair looked awesome that day? It's the female equivalent). So I'll throw out my own unsolicited advice about the cliches I often see:

"Life is too short." Kind of. Sometimes. Not really. Actually, life can really drag on if you don't make good choices and surround yourself with good company. I know, you mean that we need to take risks. There's a counterpoint to this argument, very well said by my favorite stand-up comedian here:

"I am just as happy going out on the town as I am watching a movie, etc, etc." Yes, we all are. If you have the energy and money to go out every night, rock on. Perhaps I will buy your couch. But saying this is getting a little ahead of yourself. We're aiming to set up a first date here, and if you're okay with a guy coming over for Netflix and popcorn, aim higher.

"I love to laugh", "I enjoy travel", "I love my family"..."I am a carbon-based life form".

C'mon, girls. Yeah, you'll probably still get messages if you're cute (and especially if your pics show skin!), but cute is dime a dozen. It just amazes me how often a profile can fill up my screen and still tell me nothing about what makes you different than every other girl. Beauty is rarity.