Ahoy, nice to meet you, trolls. My name, well... my name is hidden in a series of complicated equations for you to factor out in order to learn it. Once the test is given to you, you will have a limit of 5.4 minutes to solve it, or the bomb in your briefcase will blow up, resulting in your horrid limbless death. As for a summary (summarization is obviously not what is about to happen) about myself? I am a boring female who reads, watches anime, plays games, works a lot and lightly socializes around town at coffee shops and small creative cultural bullshit scenes and yes; I stay Larping in the freeworld- every Thursday these days. If you feel it is necessary, understand you're about to read my tome of a profile.

I will start with saying communication is very important to me.
I don't get involved is dramatic situations and I don't deal with whiner babies.
I have a very sarcastic humor filled with puns, irony, perversion and innuendos- to which; If you're offended by, you are fully allowed to take in-your-endo.
Am a tall-as-fuck, creature from the black lagoon; so buckle up.
If I could own a pet squid, you bet your ass I would.
Usually pretty easy to get along with, if you can handle the cynical dry humor.
Will let you know I am mildly good at empathy, awful at sympathy and absolutely amazing at apathy.
I like humor, funny people are funny.
If you act extremely uneducated, I will hop on my mobile internetz scooter and scoot the **** on.
Warning to all Herp Derps: I'm a little feisty and oddball goofy, so if you're easily offended, I'm certainly the girl to steer clear of.

My ultimate classic favorite game is Zelda, so much so I have a
Tri-Force on the back of my neck- suck it nerds!
I aspire to breed a strand of spider-monkeys in my backyard- Oh, and work on my English major sooner than later.
I want to be a vocabulary Superwoman... because words and big breasted ladies in spandex are both good things.
I'd love to be a 'Class A' writer but lately in life it is difficult to focus my attention towards my writing- or anything terribly useful for that matter- which is why you see so many typos and improper grammatical errors on this profile.

Keep in mind: Since the written in my strong suit, I am most definitely more interesting over text, in real life I am much less exciting; I can promise that.

I can make anything in to a joke but I do enjoy intellect in my conversations- we don't have to talk about quantum physics or Darwinism- we can talk about Scrabble, unicorns, boobies and Batman, too.
Speak up, buttercups.

I am exercising my brains cells one book and conversation at a time and working shifts that are too long in purgatory to serve all you classy sons of bitches.
I like strange things and find creative ways to make money- I was born and bred an oddity/antique child so I am familiar with 'the hustle' of the streets or, you know, eBay.
I like money; mine not yours; but it isn't the most important thing. Mostly it is just indulging in the finer things in life, I'm just a poor girl from a poor family- Scaramouch! [My definition of "finer things" also may be a bit askew from your's.]

Putting my foot in my mouth (in a non-literal sense)
Also, since I decided to log on a mildly revise all of this nonsense, I am apparently good at over-writing the all holy fuck out of a profile.

I'm either abrasive and ridiculous or quiet, passive and grumpy. Much like Tardar Sauce.
Usually, the girl in the crowd of loud gabbing women that is reading in the corner, being condescending or promoting silly arguments for the sake of enjoying a good boiling point.
People usually think I am older so offering to buy me or take me out for a drink is going to fail, I am flattered, though.
I am tall so most people point this out as a distinct feature. The elderly age bracket would consider me to be a disgusting bad-tasted awful dressing slut-bag Jezebel with holes and ink all over her- which come to think of it, is probably more accurate than I'd like to admit.
I hear I have the bone structure of an elf so that's something, I suppose. Kind of sounds neat. Used to be mildly offended by that, now not so much. Why? Because elves, are bad-ass.
All in all you will have to notice me, at some point.

Food is delicious, why ask this? - I would LOVE to say I was a vegan or ate a glucose-free diet and saved all the animals.
But that would be a damn lie, I go HAM on food; incidentally, I really don't enjoy ham too much... and no, not Jewish.

I really, really love candy. My favorite happens to be licorice; strictly red. Which consequently is a vegan candy.

I have a wide range of taste in music.

I hate when Nicholas Cage plays the role of a father.

I like the words tabernacle, pfeffernüsse, and persnickety.

When people sneeze, my mind tricks me in to thinking i can smell it.

I wish I had a pet land shark.

I know how to cry like a small infant, spot on- but I hate infants, and creeps me out to do it.

Reality shows make me want to eat rusty tacks.
I don't like to eat rusty tacks.

If I could solely survive off of eating cheese, I would.

Chocolate milk is a sweet black magic nectar from the gods.

Some of my favorite things are kitten chins, squishy kitty feet,
turtle tails and swords.

My hair is aliens.

I puked all over my elementary school classroom when they made me swish with bubblegum fluoride- I had to get a doctors note to excuse me from then on.

People who can't read aloud at a normal pace make me want to slit my wrists.

I am still down to go to Hogwarts or Middle Earth- fuck you, don't judge me.

Reading materials.
Vocabulary is another thing I dnt wnt 2 live without cuz it iz kinda importnt 2 me cuz i laikez reedings things 2 mai eyes.
Living without the very few sentiments in humans that I have, would be difficult.
Laughter is something that is what I'd like to keep around, it is not only attractive but I will admit it is also my defense mechanism.
Onto the materialistic; game systems, my phone - which I may as well not have sometimes and I like me some fluffy pillows and candy, dude.

Psychosis- yourself and my own. It isn't about me being crazy or weird, it is just something I find fascinating- the human brain. Not enough to become a neurosurgeon or a shrink; natural human behaviors and mannerisms are something I observe. Even though that makes me sound judge-y, I couldn't possibly give a fuck less what you do with your life.
I am your A-typical socially awkward dork who has taught herself over time to be very sociable. However, after a few hours of this I usually find myself needing a nap or a shower and possibly some snacks to raise my blood-sugar.
I day dream a lot, but its always about cool shit, I swear.

Sitting on my ass at home and doing chores and being baby-sat by games or Netflix.
OR
With my close friends, having a beer, playing a game or at a coffee shop.

I'm pretty much an open book, usually. So just ask.

You can stand my obscure nature and would like to grab coffee/horchata, pudding cups and some Nintendo or games. If you find me interesting enough, I am sorry and flattered.