Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My name is Ricardo Alfonso. I was born Ricardo Alfonso on the small
island of Puerto Rico, a magical land beyond the clouds where
vicious dragons roam the countryside looking for livestock to
devour. I am the son of Ricardo Alfonso of Yauco and Eileen Orta of
Yauco. Yauco is a town in Puerto Rico. They grow coffee there. I
like coffee. Do you like coffee?
I moved to the United States in search of a better life. Strangely
enough, I got a better life and now I'm bored. Since there appear
to be other people in this country besides me who like the buttsex,
I am attempting to interact with fellow buttsex enthusiasts. Not
that I'm exclusively on OKCupid looking for a good time, but I'm
not going to pretend that I'm some perfect little angel waiting for
Prince Charming to come along and marry me into his rich asshole
family. Sometimes you have to have buttsex with someone in order to
realize that there are other holes in the human body worth
God, what else? I like to write, derp derp.
I'd say I'm handsome. I'm not very tall, but what I lack in height,
I make up for in plotting to take over the world. This is what they
call a Napoleonic Complex. I have dark eyes, dark hair, and a dark
heart. My racial background is...interesting; it's a weird mixture
of Latino, Mediterranean, and Northern African. Those people in
Libya fighting for their freedom? Those are my brothers, man.
Personality-wise, I'm definitely a very strong figure. I am not the
most subtle person in the world. If something is on my mind, I'll
just say it. I do have my introvert moments though. Sometimes I'll
be in my "Fuck you, leave me alone" mood, as I like to call it. I
have this huge obsession with justice and fairness, and if
something happens that appears to me to reek of injustice, I have a
really hard time accepting it as a reality. I will probably end up
pursuing a career in journalism or law.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Woo boy, where to begin?
There's this computer game called Minecraft. It's like LEGO meets
The Sims. Basically, you go around this weird cube-like world and
collect blocks, which you can then use to make block structures to
live in. You can also mine blocks by going underground, and the
rare blocks are hard to find. Like diamond, diamond is super rare
and you have to search hours just to find one goddamned block. But
when you do find one, holy shit. It's like you just cured
Speaking of video games, I also get really obsessed with RPG's, the
really long ones that take months to beat. A fun thing I like to do
is voice all the characters as different celebrities. For example,
if I'm playing Final Fantasy VII, I'll have Cloud speak like Sean
Connery, Barrett is Arnold Schwarzenegger, Vincent is that guy who
speaks really funny whose name I've just forgotten, etc. My friends
love it when I'm in the mood for that. It's like hours of
For fuck's sake, why am I talking about video games? I'm trying to
finish a college degree and it's taking forever because I picked
the worst minor in the history of the universe. Sue me. I am also
employed, but I'm not going to say anything about that in case my
boss reads his employee's OKCupid profiles.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Oh shit, I meant making people laugh.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I walk really fast. Like, people will look at me and say, "What the
hell is the rush, dude?" And I'm like, "There's no rush, man. This
is just how I walk. I have long legs." Seriously, I can walk faster
than some people can jog.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I don't have a favorite of any of these things because I don't
read, watch TV, listen to music, or eat food. All I do is win win
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
stingrays and how awesome they are.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
at Necto pretending to be cool. I'll sport a fauxhawk when I'm
feeling really frisky. Then some nights, I'll even wear a tank top
and show off my muscles, so that when dumb jocks come over to hit
on me, I can be like, "Sorry, I have a boyfriend. I'm just here to
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I still don't know what Kelis is talking about when she sings about
her 'milkshake.' Don't tell me!!! I need to figure this out for
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you have an 18-inch penis.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.