Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I will make you best artichokes you've ever tasted. Seriously. You
will be ruined for all others. It's a curse.
You'll know I'm coming when you hear the ding of my red bell pepper
bicycle bell. I ring it when I'm happy and I ring it when I'm
I grew up in the savage streets of suburban New Jersey. For a while
it looked like I might never get out; it was only good fortune and
falling on the right side of the Oxford comma debate that opened
the door for my escape. That and my secret artichoke recipe, of
course. But those cruel dark days are behind me, I prefer to keep
my eyes on prize....
If you go on a date with me, you'll have to be ok with the fact I
have great political aspirations. I'm planning on running for City
Optimist in 2016. I'm currently taking applications for a campaign
manager. If you think you're qualified, click the green
I'm in an open (and amazing) relationship with the inimitable
She rocks my world. You really should be checking out her profile
instead of mine.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I've been waging a life-long war against all the ice cream in the
world. It is a monumental task and in the end I may be defeated,
but I'll rest easy knowing there are far fewer pints of Ben &
Jerry's around thanks to me.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I have the infallible ability to tell the difference between a dog
and a cat. I've been right about this determination 100% of the
time. If you want, you can test me on our first date: bring a dog
or a cat and I will unerringly tell you which it is. One woman
tried to trick me once by bringing a lamb. Though that particular
case didn't trip me up—after a few moments I knew what it was—I
can't make guarantees about identifying ruminants in general.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
How good my ass looks in these jeans.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
The voices my head that warn me about which of you fuckers are out
to get me. All six of them.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I think a lot about social constructs (like monogamy, gender,
consumer culture), how they influence my life and how I can free
myself from them. Similarly I often question why we do things the
way we do and what better ways there might be.
I spend a lot of time trying to be aware of the assumptions I make
about others (including the truckload of assumptions I've made
about you based solely on that thumbnail of your profile
photo) and how that influences my interactions with them. And, of
course, how to stop making those assumptions!
Sometimes I'm trying to figure out how to think less and
just enjoy the moment I'm in.
Dark matter. The kind out in space. That is some mind blowing
stuff. (Edit: After mulling this over quite a bit, I'm thinking
more and more that it is just a ridiculous attempt to paper over
the fact that we really have no fucking idea what's going on out
Whether I should be considering the logical conjunction or
disjunction of people's "You should message me if" lists.
If you see my eyes dart to the side it probably means I'm wondering
if I can get away with saying that thing that just popped into my
head. Notice that this is in the "things I spend a lot of time
thinking about" section.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Riding across the pampas on my noble steed.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are weird and can appreciate the weird in me.
Who are you looking for?
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