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DangerTurnip

25 M Portland, OR

My Details

Last Online
Today – 5:21pm
Orientation
Gay
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Job
Student
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Wants kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Latin (Poorly), Ancient Greek (Poorly)

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My self-summary
This one time when I was 4, I was hiking with my mom and I accidentally stepped on a banana slug. I cried about it for a while and then buried it by a redwood tree, and my mom let me do a little banana slug eulogy. I named the slug Banana because I was 4.

Seriously I don't know how to fill this section out. Hopefully you fell for my clever distraction.

I still like hiking though, and banana slugs are cool.
What I’m doing with my life
What am I doing with my life? Um...I'm making a sandwich. Then I hope to eat and possibly enjoy the sandwich. At which point I will digest it.

I keep my goals realistic these days.

Honestly though? I have no idea.
I’m really good at
Vehicular manslaughter.

And cooking. Can't say I'm amazing, but I have that "mother's love" thing going on. It's all the soymilk I drink.

Also, I'm great at befriending people's pets at parties. Yeah, I'm that guy.
The first things people usually notice about me
This is a tricky one. Don't make me think, dating website. It's one in the morning. That kind of self-reflection sounds suffocating.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
GOOD BOOKS: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, Good Omens, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, 1984, It, Hyperion, Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights, Sons and Lovers, Lolita, Animal Farm, The Bell Jar, To the Lighthouse, On Being Ill, The Dark Tower series, Ender's Game, The Joy Luck Club, The Source of Magic, (Anything by Piers Anthony, actually) Canterbury Tales, The Good Earth, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Discworld series, Anna Karenena, The Stand, Ilium, Olympos, War and Peace, Les Miserables, The Brothers Karamazov, A Song of Fire and Ice series.

Some movies: Amelie, Wristcutters: A Love Story, Lost in Translation, Spirited Away, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, Drinking Buddies, every bad horror movie ever, Stardust, The Savages, House of Yes, Castle in the Sky, Closer, My Neighbor Totoro, Steamboy, Tokyo Godfathers, Tekkon Kinkreet, Princess Mononoke, Shaun of the Dead, House of Flying Daggers, Pieces of April, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Muriel's Wedding, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Garden State.

I listen to a lot of classical, but I'm not a serial killer. Which is exactly what a serial killer would say.
The six things I could never do without
I will list things that I enjoy, but could technically live without. Because my list of things I couldn't live without is terrifying.

1: Bread! For bread? Yeah, I'd kill a guy.
2: Calvin & Hobbes. I don't think I would have learned to read without 'em.
3: Zombie movies. Because who else is going to eat you?
4: Toast! Bread's older, crispier brother!
5: Taco Tuesdays. Not that I really eat tacos much, but it's fun to say.
6: My giant robot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
You know, the future. Not that exciting hovercar kind from when I was a kid though, where you thought you'd have teleporters by the year 2000. Adult future. Like taxes and healthy eating. SPACE taxes though. I'm all about space taxes.
On a typical Friday night I am
Last Friday I learned what Instagram was. This Friday I'm learning how to protect myself from it.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am actually several koalas standing on each other inside a giant man-suit. Please love us anyway.

That, and I have no idea how to talk to people on this site. Chances are, if you've sent me a message and I haven't replied, it's because I don't know what to say. Imagine me sitting here at my laptop, trying to re-word "my week was good" a few times and giving up.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like guys
  • Ages 21–40
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating
You should message me if
Ultimately I'm looking to start a family with someone, in the weirdly heteronormative child-rearing kind of way. Probably won't be for a little bit, but that's definitely the goal. Also, message me if you want to. It's a free dating website, what's the worst that'll happen?

Really, I'd love new friends. Want to talk about worldly and topical issues over an intense game of Mario Kart? I'm there.