Who told everyone to say "I'm very laid back and easy going"? I missed the fucking memo. And who says that's an attractive quality? You just admitted you're lazy with no strong opinions.
It's come to my attention that people have gotten the wrong impression of me. While I'm openly sexual, it doesn't suggest that all I am is sexual. I'm just not ashamed of that side of me. Nor should anyone be. I'm a great friend, listener, confidant, and I'm insightful and always ready to help. I like who I am and if you weren't so afraid, maybe you'd like me too.
I was designed perfectly. I'm the walking personification of an Old Spice commercial. I love puppies. I tell you how pretty your hair is while I simultaneously ask about your day and give you the rough stuff from behind and order a bouquet of flowers be sent to your workplace and spell "bouquet" without the help of spell check. Basically, I am Chuck Fucking Norris.
YOUR: possessive (ex. Your boobs are great.) YOU'RE: you are (ex. You're an ass.)
Someone once called me "quite a charming lunatic." I thought that was one of the sweetest things ever said to me... I've been thinking more about this and I realize that I'm just honest. And it makes me think it funny that to be honest is to be a lunatic :)
My thirst for knowledge is insatiable.
I don't always drink beer, but yeah I do.
"No, I do not have a girlfriend. But I do have a girl who would be very mad if she heard me say that." Mitch Hedberg (its actually an "odd" situation. But I'm not a monster. Or at least not the kind you think I am.) More details upon request! That's called a lead-in.
I'm no Atheist. I respect your beliefs, but I just can't get on board with the idea that we're here just because. It wasn't luck. Also, everyone dies. And if life always went how YOU wanted it to, you'd be bored and it would take away from other's lives. Ultimately, god is good, but it's good for everyone, not just you. Suck it up, crybaby. I believe in a higher power for numerous reasons. Most dominant ones being that we're still here and that a person like me believes in God. That being said, I really don't think one gang has the marketing rights to God either. When you've seen the devil, you know there's a god. Also, it's impossible to prove we came from monkeys. And it would stand to reason monkeys would still be popping out humans every now and again if we did come from them. The missing link has never been found. there have been cute drawings of what it could look like, but no facts to substantiate the doodles. My point being, evolutionists can mock God because they haven't seen it, but they haven't seen anything to back their own theories. They're believing on faith alone ultimately. Faith. Don't feel superior as a human being just because you believe in an invisible monkey. We are all running on faith. So just be faithful and leave it be. Faith is the absence of evidence, not the evidence of absence.
Do you realize that if the earth were just 10% closer to the sun, we'd bake? Or that if it was 10% further away, we'd freeze to death? Also, the odds that we could have existed at all are 1 chance in 10 to the 139th power (ten thousand trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion) Soak that in the next time you feel jaded.
Curvy girl enthusiast.
All that put to the side, I am the happiest misanthrope you will ever know
I'm pro-guns (fight crime. Shoot back), pro-choice, pro beef.
I like me. If my dog likes me, then I'm doing alright without your approval :)
I'm extremely confident. Not because I'm all hot or whatever, I know I'm not the cutest guy out there. What I also know is that I was an UGLY ass kid. So I'm just confident because I know how much worse it could've been ;)