Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


27 Oak Cliff, TX Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 19–87
  • Located anywhere

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Native American, Hispanic / Latin, White
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
A little extra
Strictly anything
Seeing Someone
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Has dogs and likes cats
English (Poorly), Spanish (Okay), German (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've regressed into an angry, impatient bastard. I'm just now realizing this. Just hold that true in your heart and make your choices from there.

I wish I had the patience necessary to deal with the backlash I'd catch if I stated my opinions on a lot of shit. But I really don't, so we all dodged a bullet.

Who told everyone to say "I'm very laid back and easy going"? I missed the fucking memo. And who says that's an attractive quality? You just admitted you're lazy with no strong opinions.

It's come to my attention that people have gotten the wrong impression of me. While I'm openly sexual, it doesn't suggest that all I am is sexual. I'm just not ashamed of that side of me. Nor should anyone be. I'm a great friend, listener, confidant, and I'm insightful and always ready to help. I like who I am and if you weren't so afraid, maybe you'd like me too.

I was designed perfectly. I'm the walking personification of an Old Spice commercial. I love puppies. I tell you how pretty your hair is while I simultaneously ask about your day and give you the rough stuff from behind and order a bouquet of flowers be sent to your workplace and spell "bouquet" without the help of spell check. Basically, I am Chuck Fucking Norris.

YOUR: possessive (ex. Your boobs are great.) YOU'RE: you are (ex. You're an ass.)

Someone once called me "quite a charming lunatic." I thought that was one of the sweetest things ever said to me... I've been thinking more about this and I realize that I'm just honest. And it makes me think it funny that to be honest is to be a lunatic :)

My thirst for knowledge is insatiable.

I don't always drink beer, but yeah I do.

"No, I do not have a girlfriend. But I do have a girl who would be very mad if she heard me say that." Mitch Hedberg (its actually an "odd" situation. But I'm not a monster. Or at least not the kind you think I am.) More details upon request! That's called a lead-in.

I'm no Atheist. I respect your beliefs, but I just can't get on board with the idea that we're here just because. It wasn't luck. Also, everyone dies. And if life always went how YOU wanted it to, you'd be bored and it would take away from other's lives. Ultimately, god is good, but it's good for everyone, not just you. Suck it up, crybaby. I believe in a higher power for numerous reasons. Most dominant ones being that we're still here and that a person like me believes in God. That being said, I really don't think one gang has the marketing rights to God either. When you've seen the devil, you know there's a god. Also, it's impossible to prove we came from monkeys. And it would stand to reason monkeys would still be popping out humans every now and again if we did come from them. The missing link has never been found. there have been cute drawings of what it could look like, but no facts to substantiate the doodles. My point being, evolutionists can mock God because they haven't seen it, but they haven't seen anything to back their own theories. They're believing on faith alone ultimately. Faith. Don't feel superior as a human being just because you believe in an invisible monkey. We are all running on faith. So just be faithful and leave it be. Faith is the absence of evidence, not the evidence of absence.

Do you realize that if the earth were just 10% closer to the sun, we'd bake? Or that if it was 10% further away, we'd freeze to death? Also, the odds that we could have existed at all are 1 chance in 10 to the 139th power (ten thousand trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion) Soak that in the next time you feel jaded.

Curvy girl enthusiast.

All that put to the side, I am the happiest misanthrope you will ever know
I'm pro-guns (fight crime. Shoot back), pro-choice, pro beef.

I like me. If my dog likes me, then I'm doing alright without your approval :)

I'm extremely confident. Not because I'm all hot or whatever, I know I'm not the cutest guy out there. What I also know is that I was an UGLY ass kid. So I'm just confident because I know how much worse it could've been ;)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
"It is easier to do one's duty to others than to one's self. If you do your duty to others, you are considered reliable. If you do your duty to yourself, you are considered selfish. "

(ignore all of this)
also, i'm noticing that i said i drink socially. then i thought bout if people just drink in their house by themselves for no reason... I do that, actually. I should explain why to myself of 4 years ago.

I am working also towards owning a P.I./Bail Enforcement firm. I feel like justice can sometimes be stretched too thin to help as far as it needs to, so I would like the chance to help in my own way.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being honest. Watch. This statement is false. Oh no... Got yerself a little paradox. Walked right into it too.

I've very recently discovered I have quite the knack for correctly guessing boob measurements. Means nothing to you. High honor to me.

Being grateful for the little things like the fact that toilet paper is a competitive industry.
Singing, video games, selling stuff, optimism, Scrabble, giving massages, I consider myself pretty adept at writing, but that's more of an opinion. Tetris, i understand people so well sometimes that it scares them. i love to help people when they ask for my help. sadly, i'm good at knowing a person's soul after the first sentence they extend to me. it's nice meeting good people. sad meeting good people who aren't and think they can fool the world. And looking heroic while I do anything. Having a good shot at being everyone's enemy :)

...and cooking, I'm good at that, too.
Applying whip cream to foods that might not call for it.
applying doritos to everything.

Being horrible at conversations about your favorite authors. I know absolutely dick about any of them. I do know if you refer to them by last name only, you're so much more sophisticated than us. Remember, pinkie out while typing.

Oh, and saying what I mean. Not in the way most people do, however. Most people preface themselves by saying "I'm brutally honest." Which is just their excuse for being an asshole or bitch, respectively. Besides, what kinda person are you if the only thing on your mind is the mean shit you have to say about someone else?
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"Narcissist: psychoanalytic term for the person who loves himself more than his analyst; considered to be the manifestation of a dire mental disease whose successful treatment depends on the patient learning to love the analyst more and himself less."

There's an air of invincibility to me. A quiet confidence that either intimidates, or makes you need me, depending on your experience and true nature. I'm a Sub's dream come true.

That you have more in common with me than you'd really ever want to.

(Basically, everything I would imagine/want noticed.)
The cigar in my mouth. (Cheapo ecuador seed) sidenote: En Fuego at the Harbor has the BEST prices on bundles... Seriously. I'm.....odd. It doesn't look like it, but I am paying attention if we were ever to converse. I just enjoy staring at things around me.

I'm deciding the best description I can come up with now is "stoic". I'm stoic. Not in the sexy way, probably. More in the pretty fucking annoying way if you're the type that talks too much.

How incredibly polite I am. Or the new low standard for what polite is in this decaying world.

great hair.

But enough about me... You still got that cleavage?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I should note that it's pretty immature to not enjoy something you haven't even gave a shot just because so many people around you enjoy it. Some things are so exceptional in quality that they force their way into mainstream society. Keep a truly open mind as I'm certain you claim you do.

Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats, Defiance, Ohio,

It should be noted that 50 shades is not some revolutionary lifestyle. If you talk to me about it, I'll try my hardest not to snicker, but I'll snicker. In my defense, you don't have my memories.
Books are Romance of the Three Kingdoms and Infinite Jest, movies are The Pest Book of Eli, Tombstone, anything where the last words of the title are "of the dead", and most anything from Focus Features. Food is tuna sandwiches, and I want to read Devil May Cry (ca.1960 something). It sounds interesting. But if you have read it, please inform me as to whether or not I should pursue that desire. I love a lot of different genres of music. "Simple Man" is one of the greatest songs ever though. Also Eydea and Abilities "Smile"

one of my favorite lines ever; maybe they're as evil as they seem, or maybe I only look out the window when it's scenic.

so music, i guess i can expand on. (Disclaimer: I use this list to remind myself of all the great bands I've found over the years. Not because I'm one of those douchebags who thinks listing a bunch of bands makes me awesome or cooler than you and your shorter list. If you haven't noticed, we're both on a dating site. We threw "cool" out the window.)

Hadouken!,Spor, Qemists, Nico Vega (!), Digitalism, Dieselboy and Kaos, Atmosphere, Eyedea and Abilities, Jake One, Dj Qbert, Mr. Dibbs, DSR, Fat Bastard, They Died Too Young, ATD-I, Moraketstra, Fanu Samurai, Akira Yamaoka, Madvillain, Built to Spill, Sybris, The Faint, David Bowie, Rika Muranaka, Pop Will Eat Itself, Magno, Eric Idle, Take/Sweatson Klank, Meiko, Daiki Kasho (original), Massive Attack, Regina Spektor, Gary Clark Jr., Fugazi, Kasabian, Klaxons, Pilot Speed, Space Monkeys, Noisia, Pitchshifter, War, The Pharcyde, The Alkoholics, Radiohead, Unkle, Kyuss, QOTSA, The New Amsterdams, Dawes, Five Horse Johnson, Doves, OGRonC, DVDA, TV on the Radio, The Eternals, Portugal the Man, Telefon Tel Aviv, Julieta Venegas, Mana, Los Lobos, Chingon, Young Nino and Hotboy Star, Eagles of Death Metal, innerpartysystem, 16 bit, joker and ginz, sukh knight, n type, Skism, Plan B, The Roots, Datsik, DATAROCK(!!!), The Black Angels, The Black Keys (they rule and you know it), The Bravery, Mumford and Sons, The Go! Team, Danzig, Mastodon, the Lumineers, HEALTH, Brazilian Girls, Aesop Rock, Imagine Dragons, Miike Snow, Dax Riggs, Seryn, Norah Jones (listen to Say Goodbye and Miriam, then judge me )

Video games: Arkham Asylum, The legend of Zelda: Twilght Princess (GCN), Madden, Ocarina of Time (i have the master quest edition on GCN...get jealous), Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition, Animal Crossing, Harvest Moon Magical Melody, The Sims 2, Star Wars TFU, Star Wars Jedi Academy, Samurai Warriors 2, Dragonball Raging Blast, Fable series, L4D2, Gran Turismo 4, Mass Effect series, Red Dead Redemption, ARKHAM CITY! It convinced me Batman can beat up anyone.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
music, senses, my video games, boobs, orgasms (anyone thinking otherwise hasn't had one), and willpower/drive.

Sounds shallow? What about friends and family? Well it's time for a refresher course on 1st grade English. What is a noun? A person, place, or thing. Now this area is titled "The six things I could never do without" friends and family are not things.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The vanity of people who endeavor to defy nature in an attempt to be civilized. Maybe we should change our definition of civility to coexist with nature as opposed to facing an unstoppable force such as nature.

People who place themselves on a pedestal in the hopes of being untouchable. For some, it's just nature to prefer solitude. For most, it's fear. A need to be untouchable stemming from the last time someone touched them. Regardless, being on a pedestal just ensures one very long fall. So be careful how you perch.

How can your religious view be buddhist and say you "want" kids... Hmm...

why Iron Man hasn't made a Vibranium suit if the ish is so damn effective.

Your big fluffy boobies.

the apocalypse. These certainly do feel like end times. Ways to make my body stronger, mind more acute, and finding the connection from one thing to another. music. And why people feel it's ok to riddle various networking sites with their pictures and not cleaning up after themselves when they disappear. recycling is important on every level people.
-and i spend a lot of time thinking bout cassie, of course.-

just how much cooler action figures have become these day as opposed to when i was little.

You can tell whose had great sex and who hasn't by the okc questions.

The irony of Atheism being a religion.

If every woman on the planet reaches a certain age and inherits their own professional photographer and/or studio. On that note, don't trust a photographer's self-portrait.

If you were to take an asian person and spin them around numerous times, would they become disoriented?

How the human connection is null and void these days.

How it's not ALWAYS an intimate message...

Why some people have this misplaced vanity for themselves. It's ok to be confident. That's admirable. But it's funny/sad when you're not too attractive and have your nose in the air like you're one of "the beautiful people" not being scorned or anything. just read this woman's profile and she completely fits this description. i'll be happy to give you the link if you're interested.

The effects on America that will be caused by the Cartel Wars.

Is my body just bootilicious? is there a higher status than "bootilicious"?

How "deep thinker" is synonymous with "pompous ass" apparently. I mean seriously, it's not an art. Everyone thinks a couple times a day, Mathlete.


They're so many ways for a woman to be pretty and only a handful of ways a guy can be cute. Lucky ass

How it's ironic that psychologists are usually more mentally tormented than their patients.

The magic bullet is now a cooking utensil.

The fine line between genius and madness.

The fine line between worldly and douchebag.

Lavish Styles.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
chasing the devil.

"Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is. "

Drinking alone, as it were.

Painting action figures. Daydreaming of the next flat testors paint I'm buying. Drinking a glass of brandy(and drinking alcohol, LADIES) watering the lawn. running lately, working on bettering myself. I don't like clubs. I do like books and video games and ATHF. And playing bingo with your mother to help you escape through a window unnotticed to go hang out with your misunderstood boyfriend who always tries to pressure you into sex. But we both know you're not ready for something that big yet.

No? Well then I'm probably just at home or my best friend's unecessarily lavish apartment complex playing pool or using his free gym. listening to phone sex prank calls. prank calling random hardware stores and asking compromising questions about caulk.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I get genuinely pleased when the shared profile pic ends up being the hotter girl.

I still have the biggest crush on that girl outta Midlothian. Dang, yo.

there's a famous groupie who used to cast rock musician's erect penises. she then made a book. Of which the most famous ween belongs to one 'long' Jon Langford. It's a badge of honor to know I am packing more heat than any rocker in that book. It's a personal victory that I doubt you could understand.


I'm fairly certain I was orally pleasured by a sociopath once.

The real party's on Fetlife

Maria Bamford is a massive crush of mine

I, like Carl, don't need no instructions to know how to rock.

Martin Short is one of the most under rated hilarious people of all time.

While I have a pretty tight grasp on the English written word, I also realize how useless and unnecessarily complicated it can be. Naught, knot, not. By, bye, sigh, die. Bough, cough, borough, sow, sew, so, how, noun... And don't get me started on silent letters. It's just a very unfair language for a foreign mind to have to process.

I can't wear a pair of shoes without putting some orthotics in them. even if they're perfectly comfortable.

I eat my food in order from least enjoyable portion on plate to favorite.

I want to be one of the pretty guys on the scroll box menu on the main page....

I mostly have a facebook just to post music, funny stuff, or play games

I have an intense dislike for the town of Boston, Massachusetts.

I get violent against those creatures people leave their children around. "Clowns" i believe you call them.

I can sing Bennie and the Jets so awesomely, Sir Elton would bow to me.

I have a foot fetish.

I also love cold feet warming up on me. It involves feet and it cools my blast furnace of a body down.

I feel kinda guilty when "good girls" read my page.

Pretty boys can't do what I can.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you're that woman on Winnetka Avenue that answered the door with no top on. I love you.

In my world, people don't have flaws. They just have character. Same rule applies for cars.

I don't wanna know ya. I don't even wanna know ya. but we're trapped in this lovely mess. I'll hold ya close and smile. Fake. Like they do way out west.
My personality clashes with painfully Indie quirky kids.
you want to go against the grain and talk to a stranger. for laughs and random useless trivia. for the current temperature of your area. Clowns aren't fooling you and you're ready to unite against them as well. If you find the time you spend away from a a mirror or a picture of yourself to be annoying, then you should definitely contact me... while staring at yourself of course. nothing is more attractive than exterior beauty, right? right.

If you're a masochist? that's rhetorical. you contacted me. we know you are.

If you think you're in love.

If you can use words your cell phone doesn't even know.

By the way, it really sucks that in these sections, about 99.3% of women have to say "don't message me for sex". what the hell is wrong with people?

If i don't message you, it's because I'm just so scared. And I really like you.

If you have some song suggestions for my Zombie Apocalypse playlist. Remember, there are no dumb suggestions.

You wanna hug someone who smells like cigar, brandy, and possibly peanut butter.

You had better be sexy.

If you can make me laugh.

You understand that the Kardashians are disgusting bags of whore who live off a name. Bonus points if you realize a sex tape can't be released without consent.

Must love kittens. Must hate cats.

You have an emphatic lecture on how I'm the embodiment of all that is wrong in this day and age. Better yet, I'll deter a few of those right now. Know what I think is wrong with the world? Everyone needs to have control on a rock that never stays still and people don't have a sense of humor.

Don't message me if you're page is as cryptic and puzzling as a plot from national treasure. If you have that much to hide, I'm not sure you're at a very accessible place in life.


I see these pages where women have a list of demands for the man attempting to message them like they're holding a hostage, and I got to thinking there's a reason you're single.

And ladies, for the sake of this wonderful site, don't judge it by profiles as idiotic as mine. I've honestly met the coolest, most badass people through this site.

I should also say that if you have a further interest in me, please respect and understand my situation. Also, respect your situation too. I recently saw a woman with two different profiles on here. One saying she's single, one saying she's seeing someone. That is foul. And yes, I'm talking about you.

The journey is the destination