DarthZander
50 Wetumpka, AL
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DarthZander
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My self-summary
Hobbies: Galactic Domination, but more on this later...

I enjoy most genres of film and many types of music (I am listening to Weekend Players on Pandora as I type this). I especially enjoy attending performances at the Alabama Shakespeare Festival. It is a magical place to me, and not just the theater but also the grounds. An appreciation for the arts is required for it is so much better to share the experience with someone who appreciates it (which means no snoring through Hamlet and no giggling during a dramatic death scene). Giggling during A Mid-Summer Nights Dream is encouraged and if you find A Christmas Story hysterical all the better! ASF's version in 2012 rivaled the Film by the way! I secretly hope that it returns soon.

I am complex and what I seek in a partner is equally complex. My ideal mate would be adventurous and have a good yet twisted sense of humor. If you enjoy watching Family Guy you get bonus points. If you snort during family guy I think I love you! What else do I find humorous? Eddie Izzard, Let It Ride, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Blazing Saddles, a Christmas Story, The Princess Bride, Young Frankenstein (Fran-ken-steen), Bubble Boy, Red, Sabrina (the remake), Airplane! & Monty Python. It is required that you be proficient in the art of quoting movies where appropriate. I may consider on the job training if you show potential and are very cute; Otherwise I am willing to accept bribes (send bribes via PayPal to: bribes@darthalex.com). Important update*** One particularly humorous lady did attempt to send a bribe to the address above (alas it wasn't a real PayPal address). 50,000 bonus points are awarded to her for her terrific sense of humor and play!

I am passionate by nature and I don't like to do anything "half assed" but instead rather to do things "full assed". Or in other words anything worth doing is worth doing well. Unfortunately that means at times I am somewhat of a perfectionist. "Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself but talent instantly recognizes genius". The proceeding quote really resonates with me and the right person for me will understand it. I am looking for extraordinary when it comes to a partner and a love. I long for the bliss that accompanies being with that certain someone, you know, where you can drift off to sleep knowing all is right with the world and wake up the very same way...where one gets lost in space and time in their lovers eyes, and finds solace and renewal in each other's embrace. It is simply delicious.

I love banter and puns and will frequently make up silly songs and sing them as badly as possible. You will get bonus points for joining in if you dare, and extra credit for adding your own refrain. One point awarded for singing along if you can carry a tune and extra credit is awarded if you can’t carry a tune but try anyway. Points will be deducted if you stare blankly at me and simply blink.

I am looking for a mate I can share life with and one that appreciates the little things. I have varied interests and find everything is generally better with a partner in crime. I know, that phrase is cliché, however it does tend to describe best in my mind that which I seek. I sleep in the nude and often sun bathe in the nude too. I am not shy and I don't like tan lines, at least not on me anyway. If you like them on you then that is acceptable. It might make it easier to find you in the dark and will be extra cool if we break out a black light. Frozen grapes make a wonderful post sex snack in the summertime. Why mention that? Well, why not? If you are the type who enjoys such things how else are we going to know we are right for each other if I don't put that out there? Intimacy is a large part of relationships and that fact isn't a secret though it seems fashionable to pretend it has no bearing. Flirtation and PDA are all part of who I am and there will be no doubt in your mind nor your soul that I am into you if you spark the muse of passion within me. I do lean towards the naughty, well actually it’s probably more accurate to say I have both feet firmly in that camp so be prepared. Yes I will behave in public, maybe, but just consider that nothing is sexier or a bigger turn on than taboo and alas I like to stray across conventional boundaries (and no that doesn't mean I am bi or gay...thanks for asking... and you know who you are). If I kiss you deeply in public it's not that I am an exhibitionist...no...it is likely that our surroundings have simply ceased to exist and dissolved into the firmament and that I have an incredible urge to taste you and breathe you into me...

I like to dress up and I also like to get dirty. I am equally at home in a tux as I am in shorts or jeans. I work on my own cars and do my own construction. I have a gift for seeing how things can be and I am equally gifted at manifesting and crafting such visions into reality. You don't have to get oily and dirty with me when I am doing a project but you would be welcome to join in if you were of a mind to. Girls that can change their own oil take a bow and collect an extra bonus point. If you drive it shouldn't you be capable of servicing it?

I appreciate style and taste and a certain level of class is imperative. Playing is very important too. Laser tag, video games, tennis, swimming, sailing, & driving around with fellow Mini owners are a few of my favorite things but I am willing to share in your activities too. I can sew, I can clean, and I can cook. I am a closet romantic... and I will bring you chicken soup when you are sick, or breakfast in bed when you are blue, or just because. I'll rub your sore feet, or caress your little head when you need some affection. I will listen to hints and read between the lines and I will surprise you for no particular reason at all. And if you want to watch a move on lifetime I will watch it with you...I know I know, hard to believe but it's true, though I may not let you know the price in advance!

I have a wide and diverse background and do many things well...which may be why I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. However until such time as I figure that out I will continue inexorably to be the me that I am.

I define success as the continual realization of worthy goals. I believe love is a giving thing and that relationships work best when both strive for the others happiness. I had a life changing epiphany or moment of elucidation at age 38. Perhaps I will tell u about it sometime. It forever altered me and the way I see the world.

...and yes I really do dress up as a storm trooper and also as Darth Vader...doesn't everybody?

I am also a practitioner of EFT and Pranic healing although I find the former faster and more effective. Neither of the afore mentioned are my vocation. I generally do these to help others and improve their quality of life as well as benefiting from the effects myself. It is a way of giving back and an attempt to alleviate general suffering. I subscribe to the Zen tenant of saving all beings from suffering. Not that I could all by my little lonesome but I do like to contribute to the cause. I am a firm believer in LOA and both teach and practice it's principles. It is a good sign if you know what that is. If not, keep in mind that google is your friend.

If any of the above resonates with you then you should drop me an email if you feel we are kindred spirits or at the least likely to be friends. Either way I look forward to hearing from you.
What I’m doing with my life
Currently embroiled in galactic domination.
I’m really good at
Quite a lot actually. That has always been a problem for me. It makes it really hard to know what I want to be when I grow up.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, the Dune series, the Secret, the Law of Attraction, the Five Love Langauges... And many more.

Movies: Use to be a huge movie fan but not so much lately (the fare from Holywood is sorely lacking). Some classics I love are Young Frankenstein, The Princess Bride, Airplane!, Star Wars, LOTR, the Shinning, Blazzing Saddles, Jaws, Alien & Aliens, Sabrina the remake, Monty Python & the Holy Grail (bonus points if you can quote the holy hand grenade of Antioch chapter and verse), the life of Brian. Family Guy Star Wars Trilogy... Family Guy just cracks me up. I don't know why.

Music: almost anything but not much of a fan of rap or grunge. Have a warm spot in my heart for anything from the '80s. Current fav Pandora channels: Mars Lasar & Telepopmusik.
The six things I could never do without
MINI Coopers
Passion
New things to learn
Humor
Cheese
Brazilian coffee

Not necessarily in that order.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to amass millions of dollars.

How to spend millions of dollars.

(due to the economy and inflation the "m" should be replaced with a "b")

Any subject that interests me... My interests run broad and deep.

Why riding ten miles a day and doing P90X (well more like P90X doing a number on me) has me gaining weight.

Why most profiles are a long list of don't wants versus being a long list of what the person does want? Imagine if we all shopped like that... Perhaps the reason so many people do not find that for which they seek is due to the fact they spend all their focus and energy on what they do not want... End of today's musing.
On a typical Friday night I am
Working. Why? Because ruling the galaxy is a full time gig. That and currently I don't have anything better to do with my Friday nights. Maybe you can help with that!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
That I know where all the best buttons are and just how to touch them.

I know what you were thinking!! I meant on the remote...sheesh.

Maybe...
prolly not...
Can you tell if my fingers are crossed?

Ok, it is well known by some that I tend to be quite naughty. Unfortunately I excel at it and it appears it is a desirable trait as no one ever encourages me to stop, except for in the second grade when my teacher was a nun. She was convinced I was beyond salvation.

No but really, this one time, at band camp...

I am a closet romantic will attend chick flicks...shhh
You should message me if
If you have a quick wit and a great or twisted sense of humor.

& or

If you know the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.

& or

If you love Mini Coopers.
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