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Darth_Zoidberg

29 Los Angeles, CA Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22–28
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Feb 4
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 9″ (1.76m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Judaism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Virgo, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
Rather not say
Status
Single
Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Pets
Likes dogs
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Hebrew (Poorly), Sign Language (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
PRE-SCRIPT: In the interest of full disclosure, I need to let you know that I am not presently in Los Angeles. I live in Central LA, but crazy circumstances required my attention on the east coast, and I do not anticipate I will be back in LA for an undeterminable amount of time. I am coming back eventually, and all my possessions remain out in LA, but right now it's impossible to predict my return. If my profile strikes your fancy and you wanted to message back and forth to get to know one another, I'm totally down for that. If you can get past that and are still interested to know more…..

Hey, I'm Bryan! I am a small business owner and college graduate from Pittsburgh, PA. I left the Steel City to start anew in Los Angeles in October 2011, and I've been loving every second of it. Here's a bit about me in list form since lists are pleasing on the eye, and candy for the soul:

• I'm 27 years old
• I'm culturally Jewish but not terribly observant
• I'm in a Jewish fraternity, AE∏
• I'm politically left-leaning
Gay rights and marriage equality are a big deal to me
• I was born a dualie with US & Canadian citizenship
• I consider myself a nerd
• I love NPR. I am out of touch with popular music because I
don't think I've listened to a popular music radio station since
2004.
• I also love Jazz
• I love board games. All kinds. Let's play them.
• I daydream with the frequency and imagination of J.D. from
Scrubs
• I enjoy movies and TV on DVD
• I love any excuse to throw together a kick ass Costume (see photos)
• Despite having come from the Steel City, I am not at ALL into televised sports, even and especially football. The only sport I like watching is curling (obligatory "I was into it before it was cool circa winter olympics 2010" statement), and I don't even go out of my way very far to do that.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Growing my business on the east coast while trying to do something in the entertainment industry on the west.

I don't consider myself an artist, but I paint acrylic on canvas and make sculpture art for fun. I love art of all kinds, but not in a pretentious way. I recently custom-built a macbook from parts culled from eBay and made it Pittsburgh-themed (black and gold) for no real reason other than I like expressing myself through art. Before I moved to LA, I made going-away presents for my closest friends that were carded action figure versions of themselves, complete with accessories and pad-art.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
video editing, cinematography, cooking, baking, making and drinking the frutiest, girliest drinks you've ever seen in your life, retaining useless trivia (I'm a great partner for trivia night). I'm a self-taught "handyman" and I love using power tools and crafting/fixing things.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
people always tell me I look like Jack Black. I don't (or perhaps, prefer not to) see it, but throughout my life various strangers have independently made that assessment.

Past my quasi-goofy exterior, most people comment on my unusually robust upper body strength. I was a mover for 5 years, so I have a strong upper body. Need help moving that couch through an awkward doorway with a 90º turn? I'm your guy! I also have calves of steel thanks to swim team as a kid. I swear, I haven't worked my calves since middle school (besides walking), and they are still rock hard (oh baby, oh baby?)

Since I'm a neurotic Jew, I can't talk myself up as much as I did in the middle paragraph without making this a self-deprication sandwich... sooo... I have horrible allergies to pet dander, but that doesn't stop me from literally rubbing my face on their fur (or depending on their size, rubbing them all over my face). Totally attractive imagery, I know...to say nothing of the congestion, sneezing, and "high eyes" that follow =P.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: A Wrinkle in Time, A Wind in the Door, Darth Maul: Shadow Hunter, Lord of the Flies, The Godfather, $30 Film School, Maus, Harry Potter Series, Y The Last Man, The Girl Who Was on Fire, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Movies: The Godfather, Chasing Amy, The Terminator, Big Fish, Clerks II, Star Wars (All 6), The Nolan Batman Films, Bakshi, Burton, Smith, ... the list goes on, but too much to put here. Message me if you want to talk film!

Shows: Futurama, How It's Made, Scrubs, The Simpsons, The Critic, Red Dwarf, Duckman, The Undergrads, LOST, ROOTS,

Music: Koufax, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Tally Hall, The Beatles, Beach Boys, Count Basie Big Band, Jazz, Alt Rock, Indie Rock, John Williams, Danny Elfman, Hans Zimmer, Weird Al Yankovic,

Food: Poutine, Orange Julep (not Julius), Green Tea, Seafood, Bacon, Avocados, whatever the name of that salad is with cranberries, walnuts, and vinaigrette

Alcohol: Moscato (the sweeter the better), concord red (though Manischewitcz is too sweet even for me), frozen fruity margaritas with a slice of lime and a sugar rim, chambord and cream, malibu and vanilla coke... you see where I'm getting here. The "manliest" thing I drink is honey whiskey, and that's grading on a curve...
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
In no particular order,
1. my cell phone
2. Canada/my being Canadian
3. Judaism/AE∏, even though I'm not particularly religious
4. a creative outlet (or several)
5. loose leaf tea
6. Iced Coffee

Six things I like, but this question's wording is too loaded to include:
In no particular order
1. TV on DVD
2. meat/seafood. More power to you if you are a veg/vegan, but I am a meat eater seeking the same
3. my Bichon, Dash (he lives in PA with my folks, but he's my baby) (*ed. note: 10/15/1999 - 5/10/2012. Rest in Peace Dash) =(
4. touching/cuddling/physical intimacy
5. iDevices and OS X (though I'm not an Apple snob, and quite abhor the Apple "culture")
6. a love of film and classical animation, and a desire to do both
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
filmmaking, art, animation, women/sex/relationships, how to grow my business in PA, updating my damned reel and resume, when my roommate will quit smoking, and so on...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I don't have a typical Friday night. In Pittsburgh, it was usually spent hanging out with friends, having "board game nights", "breakfast for dinner" nights, movie nights, and team trivia nights. In LA, thus far it's been watching Netflix, and various TV on DVD... Unfortunately I had several compounding (and confounding) emergencies on the east coast that required my presence and attention right after I found a social group and a niche.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I used to think Jiminy Glick was a real person, and it rocked my world when I learned he was just Martin Short in a fat suit.

You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Just do it! It's a real turn on when girls approach me and express that they dig me (I mean, hey, who doesn't like a compliment from a confident person who stepped out on a ledge braving rejection to say "I liked your profile. Iced coffee some time?"). If you got this far, you’ve either found a reason to message me or you are just reading every paragraph out of guilt to prove to yourself you don't just look at the pictures =P.

Honestly, if your match percent is high when you come across my profile, then chances are there are some sparks. Why risk missing that opportunity? I know rejection is a big deal and a big deterrent, and I know how much ignored messages sting. I will do my damnedest to reply, even if to say "thank you for the compliment and for putting yourself out there, but I don't think we'd be a good match."

Being Jewish, Canadian, a dog person, a fan/follower of Dan Savage, Star Wars, the Half-Life/Portal Franchise, Red Dwarf, MTV's The Undergrads, or Futurama aren't mandatory, but if you are all those things, I know a good rabbi who does weddings! (humor, people… chill)

Looking forward to hearing from you!