I've been living in the Philadelphia area for five years now, but I still feel kind of new to the area. I spent almost two years trapped in the purgatory of northwestern suburbia, and then a year in a very undesirable part of South Philly. Now I'm in Roxborough and appreciating the quiet, which probably means that I'm old as hell.
Also, I'm seeing someone. It's not exclusive (we're open, not poly), but I'm not really actively looking for dating/ass. I am really, definitely, absolutely not looking for a girl to join my girlfriend and me in bed. Mostly, I'm looking for people to hang out and have a few beers with either at home or while I'm on the road, since I travel a lot for work (I totally welcome messages from guys, by the way!). If you can show me a good bar in a city that I'm not familiar with, we'll get along really well. If we do hit it off and hook up, though, my girlfriend will know about it.
Oh, and if I message you and you live a million miles away, it's probably because I spend a lot of time (and have a lot of time to kill) in your area as part of my job.
I work for a big clinical research consulting company that's based in Massachusetts. I live in Philly, though, and work from home when I'm not traveling. It's pretty great.
I also have a knack for making offensive and off-color jokes without pissing people off, which is good, since that makes up at least half of my sense of humor. I can't say the same thing about when I crack bad puns, though; I'm afraid that that rightly makes people want to punch me square in the jaw.
I read a lot of fantasy, sci-fi and satire. I'm reading Joe Abercrombie and N.K. Jemison right now.
As for movies... honestly, if it's not a romantic comedy, I will probably enjoy it on some level, especially if I have someone else to watch with. I grew up watching MST3K religiously, so I kind of enjoy watching absolute dreck just as much as legitimately good movies.
I have terrible taste in music. According to Google, the last few albums I listened to were The Joy Formidable, Deltron, Metric, Iron Maiden, Jay-Z, Massive Attack and Rush.
I love to cook, but only when I have someone to share the meal with. Being a stereotypical man, there's nothing I love more than dropping a slab of a formerly cute animal onto a fiery grill. Steak, chicken, sausage, unwanted pregnancies... if it's made of meat, I can make it delicious with culinary magic purchased directly from Penzey's Spices.
Can we add a section for radio shows and podcasts here? Give me Welcome to Night Vale, Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me, Sawbones, and Girl On Guy (I will fight you for Aisha Tyler).
Okay, so maybe a semi-serious answer would be good.
1. NPR (specifically Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!, Ask Me Another, and Morning Edition.)
2. My infuriating, troublesome, entirely-too-clever, idiot dog
3. A whole god damn lot of black coffee
4. Google chat (Hangouts, or whatever they're calling it these days), which is the only chat client I can use at work
5. Gadgets, in their many wondrous and questionably-useful forms. Seriously, I read blogs about mobile operating systems on a regular basis. It's embarrassing.
6. Post-It notes. I go through about two pads a week.
I think about science a lot. Specifically, I'm really interested in the way that public perception of science and the scientific method affects awareness of and attitudes toward everything from medical research to health care to general public policy. This generally results in fist-clenching and raised blood pressure.
A quick note, by the way. This prompt is not ironic. If you think that it is, then you don't understand either the question or the meaning of irony.
Also, do you have a dog who might like to run around and wrestle with a mouthy, stupid pit bull puppy? Let's hang out while our idiot animals maul each other.