Hi, I'm Erik. Raccoons and cephalopods freak me out.

I've been living in the Philadelphia area for three years now, but I still feel kind of new to the area. I spent almost two years trapped in the purgatory of northwestern suburbia, and then a year in a very undesirable part of South Philly. Now I'm in Roxborough and appreciating the quiet, which probably makes me old as hell.

Also, I'm seeing someone. It's not exclusive, but I'm not really actively looking for dating/ass. Mostly, I'm looking for people to hang out and have a few beers with either at home or while I'm on the road, since I travel a lot for work. If you can show me a good bar in a city that I'm not familiar with, we'll get along really well.

Spending a lot of time on airplanes. I'm on a first-name basis with a distressing number of employees at the Philadelphia airport.

I work for a big clinical research consulting company that's based in Massachusetts. I live in Philly, though, and work from home when I'm not traveling. It's pretty great.

Utilizing outside-the-box thinking to shift paradigms and formulate proactive action plans, thereby tapping into the synergistic energy of a dynamic market space.

I also have a knack for making offensive and off-color jokes without pissing people off, which is good, since that makes up at least half of my sense of humor. I can't say the same thing about when I crack bad puns, though; I'm afraid that rightly makes people want to punch me square in the jaw.

I have three Y chromosomes, six Adam's apples, pecs on my abs and fists for nipples.

The best book that I have ever read is Dostoevsky's Notes from Underground. The worst book that I've ever read (and probably that has ever been written) is State of Fear by either Michael Crichton or Dan Brown. I honestly can't remember which hack wrote it and I don't care enough to check Amazon. Otherwise, I read a lot of fantasy, sci-fi and satire. George R. R. Martin, Dan Simmons and Terry Pratchett make me tingly where books should not make anyone tingle. Also, if you have not read House of Leaves, you should really do that right now. It used to say here that we probably wouldn't get along very well if you read it and didn't like it, but holy shit, that is a douchey, snobby thing to say.

As for film... honestly, if it's not a romantic comedy, I will probably enjoy it on some level, especially if I have someone else to watch with. I grew up watching MST3K religiously, so while I can watch The Shawshank Redemption, The Usual Suspects and The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari a million times and take something new away from it each time, I can say the same for Space Mutiny, Santa's Slay and Pumaman. The jury's still out on which I actually enjoy more.

[Ed. note: the following paragraph is like a year old, but it's still a pretty good summary of my terrible taste in music.] The USB drive that's plugged into my work computer right now has two Garbage albums, the scores from the Bourne movies, a Dresden Dolls album, a Sirenia album, a Deltron album, two Guns n' Roses albums and a Rush (shut up) album on it.

I love to cook, but only when I have someone to share the meal with. Being a stereotypical man, there's nothing I love more than dropping a slab of a formerly cute animal onto a fiery grill. Steak, chicken, sausage, unwanted pregnancies... if it's made of meat, I can make it delicious with culinary magic purchased directly from Penzey's Spices. I'm also a big fan of stuffed food; for some reason, peppers, zucchini, mushrooms etc. are extra-delicious when pumped full of some completely unrelated food. I also have a bit of a sweet tooth, which I routinely satisfy with more Oreos than any one man should ever consume in one sitting.

wtf, omg, omfg, lol, rofl, and very strong liquor.

...what?

Okay, so perhaps a semi-serious answer would be good.

1. NPR (specifically Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!, Radiolab and Morning Edition.)
2. A whole god damn lot of black coffee
3. A DVR so that I don't miss the embarrassingly large number of shows that I miss while I'm gone during the week.
4. Gmail chat, which is the only chat client I can use at work
5. Gadgets, in their many wondrous and questionably-useful forms
6. Post-It notes. I go through about two pads a week.

I think about science a lot. Specifically, I'm really interested in the way that public perception of science and the scientific method affects awareness of and attitudes toward everything from medical research to health care to general public policy. This generally results in fist-clenching and raised blood pressure.

Oh, and the Pittsburgh Steelers.

I usually don't get back to Philly until six or seven on Fridays, so Friday plans usually involve late dinner and beers somewhere in South Philly. Let's do something on Saturday night instead.

I'm generally really difficult to upset, but guys (especially on this site, holy shit) who bitch endlessly about being nice guys and friend zoning make me almost violently angry.

Also, I prefer Mike to Joel.

A quick note, by the way. This prompt is not ironic. If you think that it is, then you don't understand either the question or the meaning of irony.

Do you like beer and whiskey and bad movies and spontaneously finding places in Philly that you've never been before? Let's do one or more of those things.

Oh, and I may be in the minority here, but if I show up as online when you want to say hi, I'd usually prefer an IM to a regular message. Conversations are more fun than correspondence, you know?