Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi, I'm Erik. Raccoons and cephalopods freak me out.
I've been living in the Philadelphia area for five years now, but I
still feel kind of new to the area. I spent almost two years
trapped in the purgatory of northwestern suburbia, and then a year
in a very undesirable part of South Philly. Now I'm in Roxborough
and appreciating the quiet, which probably means that I'm old as
Also, I'm seeing someone. It's not exclusive, but I'm not really
actively looking for dating/ass. Mostly, I'm looking for people to
hang out and have a few beers with either at home or while I'm on
the road, since I travel a lot for work (I totally welcome messages
from guys, by the way!). If you can show me a good bar in a city
that I'm not familiar with, we'll get along really well. If we do
hit it off and hook up, though, my girlfriend will know about
Oh, and if I message you and you live a million miles away, it's
probably because I spend a lot of time (and have a lot of time to
kill) in your area as part of my job.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Spending a lot of time on airplanes. I'm on a first-name basis with
a distressing number of employees at the Philadelphia
I work for a big clinical research consulting company that's based
in Massachusetts. I live in Philly, though, and work from home when
I'm not traveling. It's pretty great.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Utilizing outside-the-box thinking to shift paradigms and formulate
proactive action plans, thereby tapping into the synergistic energy
of a dynamic market space. But seriously, my day to day life
involves a hilarious number of buzzwords and TLAs. This is why I
I also have a knack for making offensive and off-color jokes
without pissing people off, which is good, since that makes up at
least half of my sense of humor. I can't say the same thing about
when I crack bad puns, though; I'm afraid that that rightly makes
people want to punch me square in the jaw.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have three Y chromosomes, six Adam's apples, pecs on my abs, and
fists for nipples.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I tend to skip over this section when I read profiles. I don't
really care if we have similar taste in music and books, and it's
very unlikely that I'll judge you based on what you're into.
The best book that I have ever read is Dostoevsky's Notes from
Underground. The worst book that I've ever read (and probably
that has ever been written) is State of Fear by either
Michael Crichton or Dan Brown. I honestly can't remember which hack
wrote it and I don't care enough to check Amazon.
Otherwise, I read a lot of fantasy, sci-fi and satire. George R. R.
Martin, Dan Simmons, Frank Herbert, Maria Doria Russell and Terry
Pratchett make me tingly where books should not make anyone tingle.
I'm slightly terrified of re-reading a lot of the books that were
all holy-shit-life-changing when I was younger for fear of
realizing that they kinda suck.
As for movies... honestly, if it's not a romantic comedy, I will
probably enjoy it on some level, especially if I have someone else
to watch with. I grew up watching MST3K religiously, so while I can
watch The Shawshank Redemption, The Usual Suspects and The Cabinet
of Dr. Caligari a million times and take something new away from it
each time, I can say the same for Space Mutiny, Santa's Slay and
Pumaman. The jury's still out on which I actually enjoy more.
I have terrible taste in music. According to Google, the last few
albums I listened to were The Joy Formidable, Deltron, Metric, Iron
Maiden, Jay-Z, Massive Attack and Rush.
I love to cook, but only when I have someone to share the meal
with. Being a stereotypical man, there's nothing I love more than
dropping a slab of a formerly cute animal onto a fiery grill.
Steak, chicken, sausage, unwanted pregnancies... if it's made of
meat, I can make it delicious with culinary magic purchased
directly from Penzey's Spices. I'm also a big fan of stuffed food;
for some reason, peppers, zucchini, mushrooms etc. are
extra-delicious when pumped full of some completely unrelated food.
I also have a bit of a sweet tooth, which I routinely satisfy with
more Oreos than any one man should ever consume in one
Can we add a section for radio shows and podcasts here? Give me
Welcome to Night Vale, Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me, and Girl On Guy
(I will fight you for Aisha Tyler).
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
wtf, omg, omf
g, lol, rofl, and very strong liquor
Okay, so perhaps a semi-serious answer would be good.
1. NPR (specifically Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
and Morning Edition
2. A whole god damn lot of black coffee
3. A DVR so that I don't miss the embarrassingly large number of
shows that I miss while I'm gone during the week.
4. Google chat (Hangouts, or whatever they're calling it these
days), which is the only chat client I can use at work
5. Gadgets, in their many wondrous and questionably-useful forms.
Seriously, I read blogs about mobile operating systems on a regular
basis. It's embarrassing.
6. Post-It notes. I go through about two pads a week.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Hypnotoad vs. Glow Cloud.
I think about science a lot. Specifically, I'm really interested in
the way that public perception of science and the scientific method
affects awareness of and attitudes toward everything from medical
research to health care to general public policy. This generally
results in fist-clenching and raised blood pressure.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I usually don't get back to Philly until six or seven on Fridays,
so Friday plans usually involve late dinner and beers somewhere in
South Philly. Let's do something on Saturday night instead.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am weirdly attracted to left-handed people. I have no idea why
A quick note, by the way. This prompt is not ironic. If you think
that it is, then you don't understand either the question or the
meaning of irony. Also, if you don't respond to this prompt, I'm
just going to assume that you're a pretty boring person.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Do you like beer and whiskey and bad movies and spontaneously
finding places in Philly that you've never been before? Let's do
one or more of those things.
Oh, and I may be in the minority here, but if I show up as online
when you want to say hi, I'd usually prefer an IM to a regular
message. Conversations are more fun than correspondence, you know?
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.