I'm playful, analytical, and honest with myself and others. I try not to be boring or predictable and I appreciate the same from other people.
What I’m doing with my life
I've been a professional poker player for ten years; I was on ESPN once for 19 seconds and they made fun of me. I've been a stand up comic for four years; I've been accepted to two international comedy festivals (as a volunteer). I spend a decent amount of time rock climbing indoors because the glory and majesty of nature is inconveniently far away and sometimes tries to injure me.
I’m really good at
Bouldering, chopsticks, scrabble, beatboxing, board games, poker, stand up comedy, napping in public, listening to other people's problems, and finding joy in simple stupid things.
The first things people usually notice about me
I look very jewish. I probably didn't need to tell you that, you can see the pictures.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Food: I love almost all ethnic food. Japanese is my favorite.
Books: Neil Gaiman, Neal Stephenson and Chuck Palahniuk
Music: I like hip hop of every flavor, but especially stupid mainstream rap from the 90s. I like trip hop and big beat electronica. I like classic rock. I like everything. Argh.
Television: Community. Deadwood. Firefly. Rome. West Wing. Game of Thrones. Many others.
Movies: fight club, confessions of a dangerous mind, hero, big lebowski, inside man, Scott pilgrim. I like movies with unreliable narrators.
Comedians: Stewart Lee, Morgan Murphy, Myq Kaplan.
The six things I could never do without
I could never do without laughter, games, music, sushi, bodies of
water, and people to share them with.
On a typical Friday night I am
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I was driving home from Belltown at 1am and I was stopped at a red light. There was a car full of drunk girls next to me, and the girl in the passenger seat looked at me and said something to her friends about "old man". I was incensed; there was no way that she was more than 7 years younger than me. As the light turned green and we started to drive, she leaned out her window and said, "heeeyyyy. look at you, sexy motherfucker with your four eyes. Where you gonna be later tonight?" and i thought, "Later tonight? Its 1am!" Then i realized that I'm now an old man, and I took a right turn so I wouldn't have to talk to her.
I am not outdoorsy or laid back.
Update: I seem to be getting into hiking against my will. I am still not laid back.
You should message me if
You should message me if you are capable of holding up your end of a conversation.
You are playful, smart, funny, well spoken, surprising, enthusiastic, honest and not flaky. I'm attracted to girls with amazing smiles and expressive faces. No one has ever "had me at hello"; send me more than a one sentence message. I am not a fan of emojis or netspeak.
I am ethically non-monogamous aka polyamorous. You should be emotionally equipped to deal with the fact that I will be dating other people. If you are curious about any of this I am happy to answer questions.
If you are looking for your "partner in crime" please specify what kind of crimes you would like to do. If you are a cop, this is entrapment; please reference the 1999 classic starring Catherine zeta jones and Sean Connery for more on this subject.