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33 M Boynton Beach, FL

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 26–33
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 2:01pm
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Other, and laughing about it
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Just working and trying this new thing called "saving money." I've never done it before, but I'm excited to see what it's like.

I was a graphic designer for a few years after college, but I hated it and, as luck would have it, I was also terrible at it. Free of the soul crushing burdens of the 9-5, I decided to follow my dream and try my hand at standup comedy. I moved back to NY for a few years and began my amazing journey towards fame and fortune. The fact that you have never seen me before kinda gives away the ending but SPOILER: I didn't succeed. I still write and go on stage from time to time, but it's just for fun now.

Also, you should know that I am a huge geek. Comic, sci-fi, history, science. I read the song if ice and fire series once a year. Huge geek. You've been warned.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Living that shit. Life gives me a lemon, you know what I do? I take a big ol' bite outta that shit. Then life is all "But you could have made some tasty lemonade out of that lemon." Then I spit some pulpy lemon juice in life's eye and life starts screaming "Ooooooowwwww! Why?! Why did you do that? I gave you that lemon. It was a gift." And I'm like "Deal with it bitch! Deal with my lemon! Make the best outta this situation! Taste the sour irony!" Then I place a foot atop my softly crying adversary and raise my arms in victory. I stand like that for a while. Just stand there, let it get real awkward. I'll light a cigarette, and smoke it til it is done. I'll watch the sun set like that. Me smoking a cigarette, my foot on the prone beaten body of my enemy. It's peaceful. And I say "Isn't this nice? Isn't this so beautiful?" And life says "I'm NOT talking to you. My eyes still hurt." I sigh, and walk away towards the setting sun. And in my heart I'm silently screaming "Wooooooo! Yeah! LEMOOOOOONNNS!"
What was the question? Oh right, life...

Started studying mandarin and learning about the history of china. It's actually been a long time since I studied something that wasn't a menu or wine list, so it's nice to use my brain.
Update: Did you know mandarin is very hard? It is very hard. It's like they don't want people to speak it.
Update 2: learning French instead. Always wanted to. It's a beautiful language after all.
Update 3: Yknow, I think I'll brush up on my Spanish. I know more Spanish than French, and it is more useful, right?
Update 4: Fuck it, I'm learning Canadian. That's just English but you pronounce a few words funny.

Just bought the video game Destiny. Soooooo life has been that for the last few days Just think, you'll be able to tell your friends you went out with a level 23 Hunter. Then just stand there and soak up their jealousy. Soak it up. Like a the sexy envy sponge you are.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Fucking… up a dinner party :(

I can do a handstand as long as there is a wall behind me and people to hold my legs up.

I can guess who the killer is on an episode of law and order within the first 50-53 minutes of the show.

Making people laugh.
Making an ass of myself.
Making chili.
Doing all three at once.

I draw and paint and do stand up comedy.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My fly is open.

Oh, my eyes are blue.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Anything by Vonnegutt or Mark Twain. Love history, and biographies.

I read the song of fire and ice series once a year. It's weird, I know.

The Elegant Universe (this book is awesome. It explains physics in a very approachable way. For half a minute I understood special relativity. It was a great 30 seconds)

Comedy in all it's forms. Anything from classics like WC Fields or the Marx Brothers to 30 Rock. The New Girl is surprisingly hilarious.

Bill Murray. He gets his own little place on this list. I'm such a fan, my hair line is slowly starting to resemble his.

Any TV show David Milch rights, I will watch. I still miss Deadwood. Shame about luck.
Love love love Adventure Time.
Red Dwarf is another favorite.

Love me some Dashell Hammett but Raymond chandler is better.

Just started reading Joe Abercrombie.

Punk, Motown, ragtime, rock.
Misfits, Johnny Cash, Sinatra, Sepultuta, George Gershwin. Whatever my mood.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Mother fucker it's seven letters, why didn't I count? That's what I get for always going for the joke instead of being earnest and forthright. Um, phone and sex? Yet I could do without phone sex, oddly enough.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Everyone on this site describes themselves as easy going. Yet everyone on this site has very specific things they want in another person. Cognitive dissonance is a hell of a thing.

Also, the stove. Is the stove on? No, I turned it off. But then again, did I? Yeah, yeah I did. But what if I didn't? Should I call my neighbor so he can look? No that's crazy, this is NY, no one knows there neighbor. I'll just go home, and check the stove. Well great, my apartment is on fire and now I'll never know if my stove was on or not. I wonder which of these people is my neighbor?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
This part used to be filled with "smoking weed and drinking." But I'm trying the sober life right now. That coupled with the fact that I just moved here means I am very boring at the moment. It's all exercise and reading for me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I will cuddle the hell out of you. Yeah, that's right. You can't handle this cuddle.

I believe if you love someone, let them go. If they want their DVDs and pictures, they'll come back.

Sometimes I think I used to smoke too much pot. But sometimes? Sometimes I feel like I smoked the perfect amount and I'm like "Nailed it!"
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you want this puppy to live! As you read this, I'm holding a puppy out the window right now. If I don't receive a message in my inbox within 15 minutes of you reading this, the puppy dies. If you call the police, the puppy dies. Contact OKCupid, the puppy dies. Accept that incoming text from Jenny? I say again. This. Puppy. Will. DIE. So, to recap, If you're a pretty lady who is against puppy defenestration (can you believe there is a word for death by being thrown out of a window? Isn't that incredible? At some point in history it was so prevalent, people being thrown out of widows left and right, they had to come up with a word for it because saying "thrown out of a window" was taking too long, so they came up with defenestration. Yeah. Anyways, what was I saying? Oh yeah the puppy) you should shoot a message over to this sexy sensitive bastard right here.
The clock is ticking ladies. Tick tock. Tick tock.

Update: Can't believe the women on this site don't care about dead puppies.
Update 2: Y'all are some cold bitches. I'm just saying.
Update 3: please. Someone. Anyone. I can't keep killing these poo, defenseless, unnervingly cute puppies.
Update 4: I can't keep doing this. When I first got on OKCupid, I figured I would date a little, throw some puppies out the window, maybe meet someone really cool. Instead I've wasted my money on buying litter after litter of adorable puppies, without a single date to show for it. It's like no matter how many puppies I throw out the window, it's just not good enough for you. I throw and I throw and I throw, and I just get nothing in return! Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?
Update 5: One word ladies: kittens. The clock starts... Now!

or if you just wanna grab a drink sometime.