Hi. I'm coming back to this site with trepidation. I'm a good person. Funny. Smart enough, I think (but most people probably think that, right?). Dating is awkward and makes me feel like a spaz. Never thought I'd be dating at 51. Oh my GOD....I am 51!!!!!!
I should probably go back and check how I answered OKCupid's infinite questions. It's been a while. I'm sure shit's changed. Oh, that's something, I can swear like a truck driver, so heads up.
Also, heads up that I have lots of gay friends and I let my dog sleep with me. I never would have thought those were things, but I guess they are for some people. Fair enough.
I have a feeling this profile is all going to come across as harsh, which isn't what I want, but the truth is, while going out and all is great, my dream is to find someone I like so much that even just sitting around doing nothing with him, is fun. Because that would be amazing. I'm pretty sure that's out there. Just haven't found it. - Someone who can't wait to share the best stuff he's got going on, and who thinks of me first when he needs to talk about the bad stuff that happens. I do want to find someone who is - open - to actually being in a relationship, eventually, if we hit it off. So, I apologize in advance for the bluntness, but please, if you're just looking for someone to have sex with and nothing more, ever? - please know, I'm not the droid you're looking for.
I'm gonna be blunt again and say that if you're in your twenties, please, do not write to me because you want me to Miyagi you into an amazing lover of women, yeah? Yes, you are all very beautiful, but I could be your mommy. And that's weird.
If you're in your thirties, OK, maybe.
If you're in your forties, cool.
If you're in your fifties, also cool.
If you're Chris Pratt, PERFECT, that guy is HILARIOUS.
So yeah, cute guys who are sweet and can make me laugh? BRILLIANT. Sign me up.
I'm sure I'll have to edit this later, but for now, that's it. Whew!
What I’m doing with my life
Working. Thinking. Sleeping. Boring, yes? Yes - And probably a big part of why I'm still on my own - but true.
I’m really good at
Pretty good at my work, which includes gardening, painting, picture framing, some interior decorating. Basically all sorts of unnecessary things that make life prettier. If it's LEGAL, and it will help me pay for my house, I will do it. Oh, and I think I'm good at making people feel welcome.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I'm funny, I think. A bit hyper, apparently. Loud sometimes. I can get real happy about small things, like French fries, or a funny commercial. I saw a turtle in a creek once, made my afternoon. So be prepared. Here's a joke; Why are there so many tree lined streets in Paris? Answer.... Because German soldiers like to march in the shade. If you're too young to get that joke, you are probably too young for me.... but thank you for reading. I'm guessing that American, Australian and English guys will like that joke. French guys, probably not so much. Sorry French guys.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I love a lot of stuff. Too much to list. I think the Beatles were the best band EVER. Favorite movie is To Kill a Mockingbird. The end makes me tear up EVER single time. I have always loved Frankenstein (the book), so sad, and the monster is such a great character. I love superhero movies, probably because I grew up with brothers. Very sad Jon Stewart went away. But I think Trevor Noah has been GREAT. I love all the wrong kinds of food, pizza, burgers, corn dogs, french fries, but I like a lot of the good stuff, too.
The six things I could never do without
Music in the car.
Science fiction movie references (my brother told me not to mention
Star Wars, but I think those references are funny, so there).
Lulu, my doggy
Ricky Gervais (I hope he lives forEVER).
My mom (I hope she does too!!!! - in fact I could do without all
the other things if I could make that last one happen).
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Does anyone read this far into someone's profile? I'd like to think so, but I'm not sure. Truth? - I got my heart broken a couple of years ago, so I've been spending a lot of time trying to figure some stuff out. I'm gonna leave it at that for now - except to say I wish Democrats and Republicans could get back to talking to each other instead of hating each other.
On a typical Friday night I am
At home working (please don't be disappointed), or occasionally out
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I get embarrassed if I cry in front of people. I'm fragile and it bugs me sometimes. I cannot hold my liquor. I'm a sucker for crew cuts with sideburns. My hair is actually curly/wavy - And occasionally when I'm laughing really hard I do that snorty thing. So there you go...
You should message me if
...you want to find someone to be nice to, and who will be nice to you. And guys, I know this is a long profile, sorry, but here's the thing, I do want someone who makes me feel like I'm the girl. - Not saying you have to be some super macho guy who's completely out of touch with his feelings and never cries. That would be bad. I'm just a little tomboyish and somehow it seems like I've met lots of guys who are "tomgirlish" - which leaves me feeling like a (very small) lumberjack. If you worry about breaking a sweat, or the color of your jeans more than I do.... that could be a thing. Doesn't mean you aren't a GREAT guy - just probably not my.... great guy. - But still GREAT!