I've killed a lot of people. Some girls in the apartment uptown uh, some homeless people maybe 5 or 10 um an NYU girl I met in Central Park. I left her in a parking lot behind some donut shop. I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail gun, and some man uh some old faggot with a dog last week. I killed another girl with a chainsaw, I had to, she almost got away and uh someone else there I can't remember maybe a model, but she's dead too. And Paul Allen. I killed Paul Allen with an axe in the face, his body is dissolving in a bathtub in Hell's Kitchen. I don't want to leave anything out here. I guess I've killed maybe 20 people, maybe 40. I have tapes of a lot of it, uh some of the girls have seen the tapes. I even, um... I ate some of their brains, and I tried to cook a little. Tonight I, uh, I just had to kill a LOT of people. And I'm not sure I'm gonna get away with it this time. I guess I'll uh, I mean, ah, I guess I'm a pretty uh, I mean I guess I'm a pretty sick guy. So, if you get back tomorrow, I may show up at Harry's Bar, so you know, keep your eyes open.

I just realised that this profile hasnt actually been viewed by anyone in like 2 months. So basically i could write anything here and it doesnt matter because it will never be read. Like say, on the weekends my favourite thing to do is wear womens clothes and interfere with children before heading off to my local white pride meetings. I work in the IT department of Al Quaeda where i spend my days mostly installing microsoft flight simulator and trawling the web for bomb making recipies. And now in a desperate attempt to make myself seem normal and like i actually have anythign in common with you troglodytes, i LOVE Dan Brown novels, hes actually a genius. I love Richard Dawkins he totally like you know, makes you think about shit, like? I totally love like, music, and films, and romantic walks in the park. Any park, seriously, it doesnt fuckign matter, im THAT romantic.

what, you mean aside from writing this fucking incredible profile?

apart from my voluntary work making shoes for orphans with diseases im also known globally as 'that dude with the profile on okcupid thats so face meltingly brilliant it might actually MELT YOUR FUCKING FACE

Beating up Jean claude van damme. Even fighting two of him like in that movie double impact. double the van damme, double the van dammage. Also i can lick my own elbow, which is actually impossible.

I bet you just tried to lick your elbow, didnt you?

That im trying to downplay just how FUCKING AWESOME i actually am so i dont put everyone else in the room to complete shame for their complete lack of not being me

Double impact starring Jean claude van damme.

Not really.

Aliens, predator, anything with macho bullshit space marines where the humans get taught that despite superior firepower they are no match for said alien/predator. If gears of war ever makes it to the cinema, it will be the greatest cinematic event since Citizen Kane, which i think we can all agree, was shit.

Early day miners, Explosions in the sky, Failure, Wake of the titan, Solar powered people, Grizzly Bear, The Flashbulb, Khoma, Mono, Galaxie 500

My cat like ninja abilities that enabled me to beat up Jean Claude Van damme. I love palying drums, but rarely get to do it because i dont have a drum kit. My guitar collection is pretty indispensible too.

The lasting effect huey lewis and the news had on todays music scene.

contemplating what a darker place this world would be without me to fill it with light..with LIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!

I only ever edit this profile while drunk, which possibly explains why its actually the best profile on this site

you need someone to bring some sunshine into your otherwise dismal life