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DeathDance

28 F Saint Paul, MN

My Details

Last Online
Jul 22
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Height
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
Curvy
Diet
Anything
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Desperately
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Pisces
Education
Working on two-year college
Job
Education
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English, Spanish (Poorly), French (Poorly), German (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Friends, this is my diary. It begins with my confession to you. I was hung before my throat could cry the rivers. I was hung like an animal and the rope had a bite: when I touch, I touch a razor of teeth, an amen on the edge of each of them. I am adrift. I can see the pier with the loose rope fallen. I can see the fog and the oars that will not last. I have eyes that are lanterns so I will not wreck. And yet I cannot steer myself toward land. I am at the end of risk. I am at the end of my fragmenting hands. I only have nerves to tell me how far. I only have nerves; the rest of me is ill. What I twist into rears toward frost. I twist into the immigrant rain. I am again at sea, made sick with floating. As it is, I am rich with different versions of myself, and I do not know an antidote for me. I am an impossible equation proven to exist. With the ache of layers yet to peel off, made of features and a clockwork heart whose mechanism breaks as death sits, wreckage in the face, smells foul, and is blackened. Accidental fracture is a gift. What I see is not so much a lost figure as an arch of rain, so many windows, and an expression like wool. What I see is not so much the fields of me as the silver beneath, the skeleton, its trace elements, as one falls to the hands and knees. What I see is not so much the childhood collapse or the stories the sea-branches cherish and break, or the way I move air in front of me from its delicate weave. What I see is a child’s breath at the shoulder like a thief. A chemistry of sin that earns our keep. That makes of me an enemy when the enemy is scarce. I cannot remember my guilt, my personal plague is one of indifference: my house is built of ill dreams, a desire to do harm, the sick art of the act. The struggle is a thing I scrape free: random cloaks or shadows across my lips that keep what I say as the oath I have sworn. What I would have said terrifies the masses. What I would have said threatens with the large hand, with planets askew, with what I knew was wrong from the moment I thought it. Friends, there are too many nests for me. To list. To sit and see. To frequent. To invent. I count them out, sticks and rakes, ribs and rags, a fathom I can wreck. To sense. To taste. These are the prophecies where the whisperings can live. I sift them and wait. I shake them and end. I am the land. By the flesh of the world, I crush and flee. I seize and cry. I am the mind of me. I singe and crave. The nothing of me crude. I am soothed from it.
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More often than not, it is pure discord that drives my urge to write. A type of vigorous and unsettling passion that would make me a most emotionally extravagant person if I were to project it externally into the world. To try disguise any whiff of being such an unstable and vehement creature, I expunge all traces of my outbursts by viciously punching them into paper and leaving the sorry works of art in crumples under the cupboard. This seems to be my most reliable method of erasing the devilish ink stains of my mind brought about by too much useless thought; by carefully transferring each word from the tangled, slimy, string in my brain to the crisp and scratchy page below my eyes, waiting to see each one depart from my mind like limp creatures slopping themselves off cliffs, then clawing my hands through each inky page to rid myself of their lingering spirit forever.

For the larger part, this tiring and silent method helps to remove most of the intellectual grot that accumulates like saccharine cavities in the gums. But picking and scratching through the grotty heap of thought has sooner or later brought me to a swollen body of unsettling cognitions that seem to be attached to me like the cancerous cells of a deeply embedded tumor. No matter how repetitively my nails pick and scratch at this scab with mounting franticness, it only starts to ooze with sour goop and pestilential sadness. Perhaps one day my bloody fingers will finally rip the scabby covering from my mind and unleash a gushing flow of unstoppable answers that will probably result in me erupting into an angry disarray of disordered particles.

They’re all such delicate and infuriating subjects, ones that surround my daily habits like sagging morning fog. Things that either cannot be answered, have no answer, or only become more evasive as you continue to mentally pursue them. The platitudinous stuff of life, the carnal human emotions and the disjointed planes between mentality and physicality. The fact that I may never know their end accounts for a large part of why I whittle away so many nights undergoing mental explosions and extrapolations upon this wearied set of keys. And with each encounter I venture into a more frightening state of frenzy and mania at my inability to grasp these elusive **stards, these mythical temples of truth that slew in random directions each time my jittering fingers go hounding after their whereabouts. I’m like a haggard detective grown paranoid from the endless influx of potential clues and reminders that keep all these terrifying unsolved mysterious at the kernel of my being.

Let me in.

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TEXT ME: 651-278-3223. There's more of a chance you'd get a hold of me offline than on.

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Please Note :

I have a well known tendency to not log out giving the illusion that I'm Always online. Contrary to the 'Online Now' status, Please do ignore it.
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Responding to Messages:

Please DO NOT take offense if I don't get to your messages right away. Know I mean no disrespect. I'm only one person, not a robot with many arms. I try my best to answer Everyone, even if replies are late.
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Status Update: 彡★ Life is a journey filled with lessons, hardships, heartaches, joy, celebrations and special moments that will ultimately lead us to our destination, our purpose in life... The road will not always be smooth, in fact, throughout our travels, we will encounter many challenges... Some of these challenges will test our courage, strengths, weaknesses, and faith. Along the way, we may stumble upon obstacles that will come between the paths that we are destined to take... In order to follow the right path, we must overcome these obstacles. Sometimes these obstacles are really blessings in disguise, only we don`t realize that at the time... The people that we meet on our journey, are people who we are destined to meet. Everybody comes into our lives for some reason or another and we don`t always know their purpose until it is too late... When things don`t always go our way, we have two choices in dealing with the situations. We can focus on the fact that things didn`t go how we had hoped they would and let life pass us by, or we can make the best out of the situation and know that these are only temporary setbacks and find the lessons that are to be learned. Time stops for no one, and if we allow ourselves to focus on the negative we might miss out on some really amazing things that life has to offer... We can`t go back to the past, we can only take the lessons that we have learned and the experiences that we have gained from it and move on... Never live in the past but always learn from it... Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy .彡★

★ Special friends, I often expand on the superabundance of memories cached within my grey matter. No one eclipses another, rather all capitulate to the sum of my personal experience. From this observation I deduced an important rationalization of human inclination and predilection: what we are, HUMAN BEINGS. Some vilified, some venerated, some consummate, MOST decimate. No mater what adulation or genuflection is associated with individuals who are placed on that proverbial "pedestal", and the end of that proverbial day, they are what the are, human. Given, SOME bequeath contributions to "society" above and beyond the average Bear, and must be acknowledged. But when celebrating ALL people, recognize their innate, God given "qualities", or lack thereof. I am grateful for the opportunity to examine the more detailed perspective, and I quantify with LOGIC as it pertains to my own interactions. i WISH only THE best experience for you and those you care for, PERPETUALLY, ♥tori♥

彡★ One of the things that makes me most happy is to see others on a journey to seek-out and find ways to become better. To better themselves and their surroundings. I applaud anyone (any being) for striving towards betterment.

When I stop to observe the place in which we are here/now. I see that it's natural for mistakes to be made in this time/place (maybe even intentional). At times I know I should be living as my higher being. Thankfully as I continue to utilize the opportunities of this life, I learn and grow with it. I continue to seek and observe "truth" & "reality". I see the value of truth and reality to be good, so I journey deeper into them to find the ultimate expression of such things (the highest truth, and most-real reality).

As I go deeper to seek out truth and reality... I observe something. Something in which makes finding the ultimate expression nearly impossible. Its a reactivity of point and perspective in which truth and reality moves & changes in regards to experience, knowledge, place, time (and so on, and so on). I know that "truth" and "reality" are indeed very valuable, but that the depth of it's value is illusive.

So I continue to search (as I always will). I seek to know, learn, and grown more. I even search the flip side of truth & reality (lies & illusions) to see what's behind them (to see if they are connected). I find that within the cloud of opportunity... lies & illusions are strangely wealthy in value as well.

As I see the life and universe around me (being of infinite potential and possibility) I combine the relativity of truth, lies, reality, illusions, point, perspective, time, place (I combine all that there is)... It all comes out to be a golden (immaculate) opportunity for growth. [Equally so, is it's opportunity for destruction. But, I don't think anyone that's reading this is aiming for that. So I won't go there]

What I'm getting at is that Hard Un-moving Fact (true & false) doesn't matter so much when regarding the value & opportunity for learning & growth. What matters is the possibility and potential of such thoughts. What matters is the opportunity of learning and growing from these thoughts.... so that we can build something we want to build (want to be, or want to live within).

There is a place where everything comes together. A point of creation where we all attach. A place where labels of truth, lies, reality, illusion, good & bad, have no value above one anther (because its all valuable). Its a place of infinite potential and possibility that is beyond our imagination! Better YET!!! This place is within us! The value of this place is (and the creations that stem from it are) only bound by our imagination & creation.

If we as a people can come together and stop squabbling about "fact", "fiction", "truth", "lies", "reality", "illusions", and such.... then we will be able to get to the place of our own happy creation much faster. I do not (and absolutely would not) suggest that we leave the value of such things behind. It is of my option that we never forget or leave anything behind. I only ask that you search for the common value that all these things (stories of truth , lies, reality, & illusion) have. ~The equal growth & opportunity within them.

We are all apart of the creation that we live within (the creation we see and call reality). It must be know that things which are called "truth" and "lies" are individual constructed creations of reality which are relatively bound by things which we call knowledge, perspective, experience (among many other things). One man's truth (or beings truth) is not truth for another man/being.

When seeking a higher truth (weather it comes from a person who is more experience than you in a field you wish to learn more about... or an alien which is seemingly more advanced than your species), it is important to know that the truth you seek must be of your own creation. (If the truth is not your own creation, then what would True/false matter anyways.)

I often say... know-one ever believes any-one (or anything) except themselves.

The truth and reality is within us. The truth and reality (and all else) is within the confines and construction of our own creation. Everything else is just a experience in which we have great opportunity to learn and grow from. The greatest part is that we can grow and create what we want. It doesn't have to be what joe-alien says it is (that's joe-alien's perspective). Gather all perspective & realities as valuable ones (because on some level they ARE all valuable). It is extremely important to listen and move yourself (in thought and form so that you can learn & grow), but know that you can come back to yourself, and be the creator of your reality.

When finding a opinion of thought which doesn't agree with one you've previously know (or currently live within)... don't discount the opportunity for growth even if it is a far leap from your current position/perspective. You are hear to learn about things that are light years beyond you (and even further). Turning away from an opposing thought may not be an optimal way to embrace the value & opportunity that you have before you.

The journey to seek a greater knowing is why you are here. Find the place (the point & perspective) in which something that you thought was incorrect, can indeed be correct and valuable to know.

For example if someone says they do something in which currently defies physics. Know that physics will never be pinned down (let that be your vehicle to explore what you think is impossible). Know that the infinite potential of the universe will now allow physics to be hard & defined. Know that one man's (or being's) reality is anther's illusion. Know that as you see your reality (so hard, unmoving, and real), you have the power to flip over and see what is behind it. You have to power to jump over to another persons reality (submersing yourself in it by thought and feeling) and then come safely back to your own reality, with new knowledge and grown that you previously didn't have.

In my own experience of traveling through my mind, within my heart, and through the possibilities of our world (a infinite universe). I'm able to see sides, & values that I never knew existed. I find the opposite perspective we call "lies" & "illusions" to be something which creates on opportunity that is just as valuable as "truth" & "Reality". I find a congruent opportunity for learning and growth.

This maybe hard to understand. Some will get what I'm saying because they've traveled down this road of thought before. Some who have never consider this may think i'm a nut-job LOL! Maybe in that world of reality I am

To all that read this (no matter who you are).
I write this as a friend, and I give it as a gift. This is not mine; it is yours, and ours. It comes from a place within me that is as deep and caring as could be imagined. In this place you are with me & we are one.

With your open heart and mind, bring out the courage within you to flip over into the "unbelievable" (the unimaginable). You may find that something beyond your wildest dreams was within your grasp the whole time彡★

Ideal Date

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I think any date where a guy just gives it a little bit of thought is ideal. If you know ANYTHING at all about the girl, such as her favourite type of food or her hobbies, try and incorporate some of those ideas into the date--I think it shows that you've thought about the girl, even just a little bit.

I think it's also important to provide some choices, to give your date a say in the matter. For example, if you know she likes Italian food, come up with a few restaurant ideas (and maybe different types of restaurants, like a more romantic setting or a fun setting, etc. depending on what 'mood' you'd like the date to take on) for her to choose from or ask her to recommend a place. It'll show you're interested in what she prefers AND that you've taken the time to do your research...
If it's a blind date, just come up with a few generic, but varied, choices for places to eat and things to do.

In the end, it's not really about WHAT we do--that's more the icing on the cake--but the COMPANY we keep. 'Cus let's face it: it doesn't matter how romantic your date is if your date just isn't interested in you, or vice versa...

Turnoffs:
Getting romantic too quickly is a turn-off...I automatically don't trust the guys who are the sweep-you-off-your-feet types, or the ones who talk the entire time. If you can't handle a moment of silence in comfort and grace, you're out.

Other turn-offs include: overly coarse language, dirty fingernails/clothes, lewd jokes, bad table manners, mumbling, not meeting my eyes, getting too hands-on too soon

My Pet Peeves:
People who read out loud what they're typing in an email or letter.
Kids who tease dogs through a fence.
People who drink directly out of the milk/orange juice containter.
Couples who sit on the same side of the booth when there is no one on the other side.
Parents who bring their young kids to R rated films.
People that don't use coasters.
People who blame anything but themselves for THEIR failure.
People who sit next to you on public transportation even when there are other seats available.
Noisy eaters.
Students who prolong class by asking the most inane questions.
Women who wear jewelry that clinks and clacks and makes noise when they're at their desk or keyboard. When people take 20 napkins, use one, then throw them all away.
Going through the drive thru, then having to go back when they screw your order up.
People walking around in ridiculous 'fashionable' shoes that are clearly hurting their feet.
Whenever anyone says "Ya, know what I'm sayin"...
Using speaker phones in public areas at work.
Roadmaps that aren't folded correctly.
Finding a shoe and not finding its mate next to it
Made up car names that are not even real words.
People who are mean to animals.
When a person makes a sucking noise with a straw when the cup becomes almost empty.
People with bad table manners.
People that snoop.
People who read the paper while driving.
People that interrupt you when your telling a story and then they continue to tell you their story and then ask you in an uninterested tone to continue on with your story when they are finished talking.
Drivers who won't turn right on red.
Vulgar talk at the dinner table.
People who chat online (instant messaging) while I'm on the phone with them.
Not having enough quarters to do laundry.
Couples that own a dog together and call themselves mommy and daddy.
When drivers bring their car to the wrong side of the gas pump.
When you genuinely ask someone what's wrong (when there obviously is something wrong) and they respond half-heartedly, "hmmm? oh nothing..."
People who ignore yield signs.
Double negatives.
Conspiracy theories.
Being asked my telephone number/account number AFTER I already entered in using the keypad on my phone. I thought I was supposed enter that info to "better assist me".
Not washing hands after using the bathroom.
People who push alcohol at social functions.
The noise people make when they rub their fingers on balloons.
When your spouse/roommate uses the butter to put on their toast, and leaves crumbs in the container.
People who don't perform their duties at work.
Guys who leave the toilet seat up.
Celebrities claiming to be environmentalists.
Dining with a picky eater (they can never order off the menu without customizing every aspect of the meal).
Tapping.
Men on trains who insist on sitting with their legs spread wide like they got something there.
When ice cream drips out of the bottom of a sugar cone.
Dirty keyboards.
People who zig zag in and out of lanes on the expressway.
People who ride their bikes in the road when a sidewalk is right there.
When people don't send thank you notes.
When somebody tosses something toward a garbage can, like they think they're a basketball star, then leave it on the ground after they miss!
People who take forever to order food while I'm in line.
When you open the DVD case and it is empty or a different movie is in it.
Car alarms that signal that they are on by honking.
People who walk their dogs and let them poop indiscriminately (like on someone's lawn), and does not pick it up.
The way people walk in flip flops.
Someone standing over my shoulder reading the computer screen.
People who write "Noone" instead of "No one".
Explanations that begin with the word "Again".
People who don't cover their mouth while sneezing or coughing.
Dirty dishes in the sink.
People who habitually need favors.
How opening any cheap electronic item these days requires cutting up your finger with cheap impossible to open plastic molding covering.
When you're eating candy and someone asks if they can have a red one.
Airline speak (like: "The lavatories ARE equipped with smoke detectors, so DO refrain...")
When you bite into a jelly bean and it's a different flavor than what you thought it was.
Having to go to a UPS / FEDEX office to pickup a package.
Uncomfortable chairs.
Chasing after a ping pong ball.
Jerks who take up 2 parking spaces.
Films censored and cut (for length) to be put on television.
When something I've been into for a long time becomes popular.
People who overuse quotes from movies or TV.
People who act like they're in their own living room at an event (concert, ballgame, play, movies or a restaurant).
People who give their kids weird names
People that don't list prices on websites, stores, and infomercials.
The creepers at red lights. You know, those people that start inching forward in their cars…slowly…until the light turns green.
People who clear their throats in a disgusting way.
People that pop and smack their chewing gum.
When people leave the cap off the toothpaste.
People who style their hair during Mass.
People who invite you out somewhere then cancel.
Women who wear too much perfume.
Relying on someone else to take a picture because I want to be in it, and it ends up coming out off-centered and out-of-focus.
Cutesy intentional misspellings: ” lite” ” kwik” ” ‘R ” for are.
You know when you ask someone a simple, straightforward question and they spend ten solid minutes rambling on about everything in the world EXCEPT the answer to your simple, straightforward question? I hate that.
When you order a salad at a restaurant and they bring it to you at the same time as your dinner.
Children's hand prints on the windows in car.
People who don't know the difference between its/it’s and they’re /their/there.
People who carry a one sided conversation
When you can't tell if someone is male or female.
People who leave the door open when they go to the bathroom.
Sick people who cough near you.
People who talk, whistle or sing to themselves at work.
People putting their feet out of car windows.
Greeting cards that throw
sparkles, sequins or confetti on the hapless recipient Having to use more than one remote control (one for TV, dvd player, cable box, TIVO, etc.)
Paying alot of money for a meal and getting a baby sitter only to have someone elses kids screaming.
When you're invited to a party (or any event) with people you have never met, and the host doesn't introduce you to anyone.
When you find a really cute piece of clothing on the rack and they have like twenty in size XS, two in size 3X, and not a single one in your size.
People who throw cigarette butts on the beach.
Saying "Let there be light" every time any light switch is flipped on.
When people say "What's up?" instead of saying "hi or hello".
People who leave shopping carts in the parking lot instead of taking them back to the corral.
People who go the wrong way in a parking lot.
People who write "Keep in touch!" in your yearbook but never talk to you again.
Unexpected company.
When someone with a full cart of groceries gets into the 10 items or less line.
Cats and dogs that are inconsiderate of their human's sleeping habits, and decide to romp, play, and destroy stuff at 4 AM.
People letting their dogs use my yard as their toilet.
Ignorant people.
People who read over your shoulder on public transportation.
Driving somewhere and having the sun in my eyes.
Not knowing if you've taken two pictures with a camera or there are just two left
When you adjust the volume of the TV and the volume display blocks the subtitles during an important dialogue.
People who think that they are the only one with correct background for understanding an issue.
Being the first one at any party.
People throwing trash into a recycle bin.
The naming of celebrity couples (Bennifer, TomKat, etc.)
Movie sequels that are unnecessary.
Litterbugs.
Drivers who tailgate.
Anyone – male or female- who says “We’re pregnant”. Are they sharing a uterus?
The "yes but" people.
When you have an itch on the bottom of your foot and you can't scratch it because you have shoes on.
When someone leaves their phone number at the end of a long message and they say it so fast you can't understand it and have to listen multiple times to figure it out.
People who don't dress their age
Suburban kids who think they are gangstas.
Peop;e who chew with their mouth open
People When they clean the tables nearby with a bleach solution. While I am glad they are sanitary, the smell of bleach can really quelch my appetite. having obviously PRIVATE conversations on their cell phone in public places.
When people put the spoons/forks in the wrong section of the utensil separator.
People who let dogs that jump up on everyone loose in public.
Clipping your nails at work.
When your eating something and a person will just steal a little bit of it.
Retail clerks that ignore the live customer to help somebody that interrupts by phone
People who don't pick up after themselves.
People who use the word "gay" to mean "lame".
When people refuse to be the decision maker about something simple (which restaurant to eat at, what movie to see, etc.).
When people say 'supposebly' instead of 'supposedly'.
In an obviously crowded restaurant, people who linger long after receiving their check.
When you pull a string hanging from your shirt and it doesn't break, but only becomes longer.
People who put salt on everything without tasting it first.
Not Washing Hands After Using the Restroom
Skinny jeans on men
No toilet paper or paper towels in public bathrooms.
When you will be talking to someone, and their replies seem to be limited to "ya", "cool", and "ok".
When somebody turns off the lights when you are still in the room.
People who can't complete a sentence without saying "you know".
When people don't clear the microwave numbers.
Finding the end of the program hasn't taped after sitting riveted for almost two hours.
People who say "It's always in the last place you look".
When people ask me for advice and do the opposite of what I tell them.
When people don't RSVP to an event.
People who will write something borderline mean, but then follow it up with a smiley face :)
People who don't control their bratty children.
People who refer to themselves in the third person.
People who leave their children in their cars while they run into the store.
People who snap their gum.
Girls who wear way too much make up.
People who always have to be right and have the last word.
People that cannot simply take their trash to the trash bin in places such as fast food restaurants, shopping malls etc.
People who no matter what relate to something you have done and try to "one up" you.
When someone is writing on a chalkboard and then they erase it to write something new, but they don't erase all of it, so you still see half of a letter here and there. .
Fax machines that call my home number.
Rappers who thank God at awards cermonies.
Mumbling, then annoyedly saying "Forget it!" when people don't hear you.
People who spell "you're" as "your."
People who don't cash checks you give them in a timely manner.
The noise styrofoam makes when you rub it together.
When the garbage man turns my can upside down after dumping MOST of the garbage in it into the garbage truck. I go to collect the can and when I turn it right side up, the remaining garbage spills out on the sidewalk.
People who don't use deoderant.
When people continue to stare after they ask you a question, as if they need you to expand more on your answer.
Ice cream with freezer burn.
When the person who takes the last of something puts the empty package back.
Flakes! People that cancel plans constantly.
Hair strands left on shower walls.
When you first meet someone and can't remember the person's name by the end of the conversation.
When people are using armrests on both sides of you.
Bosses who think your job is your life.
People sitting at a red light and continuing to sit there when the light turns green because they're on their cell phone.
Grocery clerks that want to bundle the receipt with my change. Hand me the money separately so I can put it in my pocket, and then hand me the receipt or place it in the bag.
People who buy animals, only to get rid of them a week later because it was harder to take care of them than they thought.
People who mumble.
Whisteling out of tune.
People who are always late.
When there are no hot dog buns left and you have to eat your hot dog on a folded piece of bread.
Men who ogle or whistle at women who walk down the street.
People who honk in front of a house instead of getting out of the car and ringing the doorbell.
Annoying nervous (forced sounding) laughs.
When you are asleep at a hotel and the alarm clock goes off in the middle of the night because the person who was there before you set it and never turned it off.
When you have to walk out of the shower naked because you forgot to bring a towel with you.
Needless meetings.
People who don't look at you when they are talking, or you are talking to them.
People who turn their stereos up full blast in their apartment building and have no consideration of others.
People who stare.
People who use the phrase "110%" (or even more % sometimes).
People who leave food that can spoil (milk, butter, etc.) out too long, instead of putting it back in the fridge when they are done.
People who put their feet up on the seat in front of them in movie theaters.
People who say the time like "Eight AM in the morning".
People who won't take their kid out of a restaurant when they are crying, screaming, etc.
Having to dress up for work just to have it downpour when you step outside.
Guys who wear wifebeaters (and nothing else for a shirt) in public.
Forks whose tines don't stand up in a perfectly straight line
The sound of too much spit in someone's mouth when they talk.
Athletes who point to the sky after scoring.
Someone opening a cabinet door or drawer and leaving it open.
People say "carmel" instead of "caramel". Is it really that hard to pronounce that extra letter?
Bathroom stalls with a mirror so you can see your whole self while seated
In mini golf when you miss the hole three times in a row less than a foot away.
When someone starts to watch a show or movie in the middle of it and expect you to tell them what's happening.
People who think the seat next to them is a place to plunk down their gym bag/back pack on a crowded bus.
Clipping toenails in bed.
People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"
People who leave farts in elevators that I subsequently enter. Then the next person thinks it's me.
Commercials in movie theaters.
Keeping your Christmas lights up until February.
Overuse of the word "Like"
People who read a story, and purposely skip pages so that it ends quicker.
When you score a goal on yourself in foosball or air hockey.
People who ask you what time it is.
People with poor umbrella etiquette.
When other people sleep on my pillow.
When you are hanging out with someone and they make plans to do something else right in front of you.
When people scratch their fingernails on a blackboard.
People who can't wait to file a lawsuit in order to get rich quick.
Wet, dirty, stinky, slimy dishrags left in a heap in the bottom of the sink.
Websites with horizontal scrolling.
People who use unnecessary abbreviations, like w/e (whatever), w/o (without) and j/k (just kidding).
People at Wal*Mart Supercenter who enter thru the exit and exit thru the enter.
Getting fruit in your bag on Halloween.
Going to a restaurant within the last hour before closing and everyone is cleaning,sweeping and slamming stuff around to get out of their quickly and at buffet the food is gone or old and dried up.
Walking into spider webs.
When the cashier gives you the change with the coins on top of the bills and for a moment you look like a fool jamming a large wad of cash into your pocket.
People who use self checkout lanes but don’t know how to use them and slow us all down.
Hearing classic songs that I grew up with...pimping products on commericals.
Stomping on the floor to simulate knocking on a door.
Telemarketers.
Waiters/waitress who put their fingers on the top of the glass (where you drink from) when they deliver it to you.
Bars where the music is too loud.
People that don't answer e-mail.
Failing to take a backpack into account when turning or backing into people
Yelling "drop it" the moment a conversation veers into an unwanted direction.
People who borrow stuff and never give it back.
When people call me but are talking to someone else when I answer and I have to wait till they stop talking.
When you sit down at a restaurant and the waiter/waitress spends time cleaning other tables, when there are lots of empty tables, instead of taking your order.
When the tracking system for delivery isn't up-to-date.
Gray snow that won't melt; piled up on the side of the road
Bad breath.
People who refuse to expand their musical horizons.
People who complain out loud while waiting in a long line at the store.
People who say "Bra" or "bro" when it's not their brother.
When people put (sp?) after words when the spell check button is right there in front of them.
People who can't seem to see any faults in their kids or their mothers.
Piling up clothes in the corner of the room instead of putting them in the hamper.
Hair on the soap.
Mispronunciation of words.
People who are stingy with money when they clearly have a lot of it.
People who cook for you, and use the same spoon multiple times to taste what they are cooking while cooking it, like for pasta sauce or soup.
I hate it when people take healthy food and fry it up in butter and eat it because it's "good for them".
Loud motorcycles.
When people trip over your their foot in the hallway and start running to pretend like they meant to do it.
When you ask for LOTS of ketchup and they give you only two or three packets.
Shopping carts with a broken wheel.
The sound of somebody playing with silverware on a plate.
Going out to dinner with a big group, eating $10 worth of food and having to split the whole bill and ending up paying much more than you ate.
When the waiter/waitress asks whether you want dessert, but smiles in a way that means she is clearly judging you.
Sitting in the movies and hearing someone eating popcorn.
Bathing suit tops as clothing.
People who pick their nose in public.
Lazy people.
People who talk about their favorite sports team and say "WE" like they are a part of the team.
People who love to point out how wrong everyone else is while they are a walking train wreck
People who don't care what's going on in our country.
People who are over age 21 who say the word "dude".
People who spit on the ground and don't look first to see if anybody is around.
People who use their caller ID like an answering service. Example: "Hello?" "Yeah, someone call me from this number?" "Umm, who are you?" "Who is this?" "You called this number. Did you get a message?" "I haven't checked my messages. This number just came up". Etc..
Being put on the speakerphone without warning
Obnoxious doorbell ringers.
Adware, spyware, popups, viruses and other things that download themselves and install automatically
When people say the word huge incorrectly by dropping the 'H' and pronouncing it Uge.
When people change the TV channel without asking
People who make you take off your shoes when you go into their house.
People at a store/supermarket who wait in a long checkout line, and then when they finally need to pay they take forever to find their checkbook/cash/credit card.
Stores/companies that charge extra if you pay by credit card.
I hate slow people walking in front of me.
People who stop at the top or bottom of an escalator.
At a restuarant, when they clean the tables nearby with a bleach solution, smelling up my area.
People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.
When people don't flush the toilet
Tables at restuarants that are next to or in the direct line of view of the restrooms. I don't want to look at and think about people going to the bathroom while I eat.
People who don't vote and then complain about the results.
People who call but don't leave a message.
People who make small talk with a cashier when there’s a long line behind them.
People who pick their teeth in public.
Snorting when you laugh.
Hypocrites (yeah, you know who your are)
How commercialized the holidays are.
Men who refer to their wife as ” the wife”- a wife is not an object.
Free offer that always have a catch.
When people cough in front of you without covering their mouth.
People who don't say "thank you" or even acknowledge you when you hold the door for them.
Having to explain the same thing more than once.
Clicking pens.
People who assume far too much.
An unmade bed.
Barking dogs when I am trying to sleep.
People who finish my sentences for you.
People who constantly sniffle.
People who interrupt you to correct your grammar/speech, paying no attention to the point your are trying to make.
People who make up words.
Tangled phone cords
When people say "you and I" when it should be "you and me".
People trying to enter an elevator when people IN the
elevator haven't left yet.
When you have to go to the bathroom really bad after getting out of the shower and you don't dry off all the way, making the toilet seat all slippery.
People who are always negative.
If you pee on the seat, wipe it off.
When you are trying to wax something, and you pull hard but nothing comes off and yet you still feel the pain.
Cussing in public, especially in front of senior citizens.
People who don't hold the elevator for you.
When you're trying to walk in the mall and there's a kiosk and they hound you to try their cell phone service or whatever.
People that say they don't like a certain food before they try it, and refuse to eat it .
People abbreviating words when they speak.
Barbecue restaurants with happy pigs on the sign.
Motel pillows.
Companies that outsource their customer service to India, but then those support reps don't have full access to all the needed info, so eventually they transfer you back to a manager in the US to deal with it.
Water stains on the cutlery (from the dishwasher).
People who tell you "Oh! You have to try this! It's the best thing ever!" And when you do try it and it sucks.
People who eat while talking on the phone to me.
People that fart in public.
People who invade my seat space, like on airplanes or in movie theaters.
People that make tons and tons of noise while working out.
Women who are obviously bottle blondes who still blame their stupidity on being blonde, as in: “Oh, no! I’m having a blonde moment!”
People/kids who tap their pencil during a test.
Sneezing in your hand and shaking someone's hand afterward.
Kids with baggy pants hangin below their ass.
Movie talkers
People who always look to start a fight.
People who spit when they talk.
Women who use PMS as an excuse to be bitchy.
How commercials are so much louder than the TV shows.
People who don't want to learn anything new because they know it all.
When you bend over to pick something up and miss the object multiple times, and the final attempt is a violent grab as if to say it was the object's fault.
Feeling a little juvenile when the waitress sees your drawings on the table at the Macaroni Grille and you're over the age of eight.
When you get out of the pool and your bathing suit sticks to you and exposes your crotch.
Singing along with the music when you don't actually know the words.
People who write checks during check-out. I hate waiting.
Men who talk down to women.
Email with no subject.
Grocery shopping carts with a bad wheel.
How clothes hangers get all tangeled with each other
Double dippers.
When people don't pick up their feet to walk and you hear the scuff... scuff... scuff.
People who brag about how trashed they got the night before.
Unsolicited advice.
Co-workers that try to sell stuff to you at work.
Trying to get assistance over the telephone, only to be directed to "press this number", umpteen times.
When adults cuss in front of children.
At a restuarant, bread cut only halfway, instead of into slices.
People who say I can't, without even trying.
People who leave their pets in their hot cars in the summer.
People who constantly get up in movie theaters.
When you are changing the TV channel and it goes black of a second before the channel comes up.
Dogs running around on a flatbed truck, which is going highway speed.
Parents who have their children on leashes.
PeOpLe WhO tYpE LiKe ThIs.
Restaurants that put too much ice in your drink.
When people use the word "literally" inappropriately. I.e. "I literally almost jumped out of my skin."
Babies sitting on laps in cars.
People who bring their babies to the movies.
People who stick their USED gum just about anywhere (under a table or chair, on the ground, etc.)
Dried toothpaste in the sink.
Junk mail.
People who talk on their cell phone at the movies.
When someone blows their nose in your presence and then proceeds to look at what just filled their tissue/handkerchief.
When people don't rinse their dishes before they put them in the sink.
Not letting things go the first time someone says stop.
People who stop right infront of you when your walking through town.
People that do not flush the toliet in public restrooms.
I hate people who have no idea what "personal space" is.
Pants on men that are too short.
Dirty restaurant bathrooms. It makes me wonder how clean the kitchen is.
People who smoke right outside the door of a nonsmoking establishment, getting smoke all over everybody who enters/leaves.
People who don't listen when you are talking to them. How many times have you said a few sentences to someone only to have them suddenly say "what did you just say? I wasn't paying attention."
People that don't return your phone calls.
Referring to any government agency as "the Fed".
If you are able to drink everything but one little drop of milk or juice, whatever...DON'T put it back in the fridge! Just finish it.
Dull pencils.
People who can't decide on one radio/tv station, and constantly flip back and forth.
The habit of tossing dirty silverware into garbage disposal part of the sink
When you're with a group of people and you think nobody saw that you just tripped, and you think you're in the clear. But the one person who did see it points it out to everybody else.
Family members who do not talk to you for years, but when they need or want something, act like nothing happened.
I hate it when people tickle me.
Gossip.
People who blow their nose at the dinner table or in the kitchen when you're eating or cooking.
Things sticking out of drawers
Utility/Cable service people that don't show up on time.
When someone is giving a speech in class and they won't stop looking at you as they speak.
A dirty stove top. When finished cooking, all food particles should be cleaned off the stove.
Using the toilet paper down to the last few squares without getting a new roll
Restaurants that have a no smoking section which is only several feet away from the smoking section.
People who don't move to the back of the bus when there is plenty of room to do so.
People who write on dirty car windshields
When shirts shrink in the dryer.
stuff around to get out of their quickly and at buffet the food is gone or old and dried up.
Walking into spider webs.
When the cashier gives you the change with the coins on top of the bills and for a moment you look like a fool jamming a large wad of cash into your pocket.
People who use self checkout lanes but don’t know how to use them and slow us all down.
Hearing classic songs that I grew up with...pimping products on commericals.
Stomping on the floor to simulate knocking on a door.
Using your finger as a gun.
Telemarketers.
Waiters/waitress who put their fingers on the top of the glass (where you drink from) when they deliver it to you.
Bars where the music is too loud.
People that don't answer e-mail.
People who are clearly unhappy and yet pretend like everything is just fine.
Failing to take a backpack into account when turning or backing into people
Yelling "drop it" the moment a conversation veers into an unwanted direction.
Cell Phone Drivers
Lawn ornaments.
People who borrow stuff and never give it back.
When people call me but are talking to someone else when I answer and I have to wait till they stop talking.
When you sit down at a restaurant and the waiter/waitress spends time cleaning other tables, when there are lots of empty tables, instead of taking your order.
When the tracking system for delivery isn't up-to-date.
Gray snow that won't melt; piled up on the side of the road
Bad breath.
People who refuse to expand their musical horizons.
People who complain out loud while waiting in a long line at the store.

Before, we had to conquer all that the eye could see & it was hard. Now... we have to conquer all that the mind can imagine & this is hard. Well, you've stumbled onto my page through boredom, necessity, curiosity or sheer luck. I guess I'd better talk about me some. Welcome to my channel and a thank you in advance to anyone who reads my About Me Blurbs, I know, I know it's long...sorry. I will attempt to give you a little insight into my mind and personality. What you absorb and reject will be up to your own discretion. Just please don't judge a book by it's cover, you never know, it just might have a way of surprising you About me? Not sure I know what to say. I am a seeker of truth. A lost soul. Beyond The Edge...A Walking Contradiction... A Little Broken...After A Childhood of Lost Memories...I Pulled All the Pieces I Could Together And Made My Life My Own. I Reached Past the Pain, Resentment, and Disappointments and Turned The Failures of the Faceless People into a Walking Breathing Confirmation That Life Is Exactly All You Can Make It. I Underwent... Baptism by Fire...And Left Those Flames Virtually Unscathed. Some first think of Me as cold, Distant. But once they break the exterior they see I am warm and genuine. I am as real as a person can get...But with my life comes an unavoidable side affect of sadness. With My Thirst for Knowledge, My constant thinking mind tends to paint me with drawn. I can be shamelessly Girly, Ferociously Stubborn, and Loyal to the Death. I know how to be Delicate and Graceful, yet can also play with the big dogs when I want to... Yes I said when I "want" to ;) I live by My Terms, I Explore the Realms where most would fear to tread and I help shed light on things that society deems impossible. I am a Modern Day Explorer. A Self Proclaimed Child of the Universe. I make my own way and follow my heart. I am a Lover of Music, though my inner fears have kept me from expanding my talents. I am constantly deeply lost in a song at any given moment. I am just Me, and that's all I can be. I am my own person, I am not a social chameleon. I did not "change" overnight. This is the person I always was, you just didn't know me before. I was reserved for many years because I had something to take care of and nurture, but now that is dead and done, I have opened back up. I want you to truly know me as I really am.

Tori here..... | Single | really REALLY shy | weird | random | kind | caring | mysterious | hopeless dork | biZarre| dreaming|Atheist

I hope things work out; I hope they get better . I hope I find someone to make me smile soon. I want to start painting more. I want to start drawing more. I want to start writing and singing more. I want to meet new people and become closer to the friend's I have. I want to mean something to someone. It's getting to the point where I think relationships as a teen aren't even worth having. We all get hurt at some point in time. There's a quote that says "It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all" & I'm not so sure if I believe it. I used to. But I hategoodbyes and I hate crying. I hate getting hurt. I hate that feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when I know something bad is about to happen. I hate mean people. I hate people that run around and stick their nose in other people's business. I hate when people that don't even know you feel the need to judge you and have something to say. I hate jealousy though it's apart of my life. I hate change. I hate when people make fun of other people. I hate hardasses. I don't understand why this world can be so cruel. I hate being looked at, being stared at, and being approached by random strangers. I'm afraid of loosing things before I even get ahold of them; friendships, trust, love. I hate when people curse at me, brings up bad memories I have bottled up for so long. I take everything to heart as much as I try to say I don't care about what you think...under most circumstances I do care. I used to think there was God, and even if he wasn't real, I'd tell myself anyway. He's someone I can look up to; someone I know I can talk to. An Atheist once told me "i'm glad that it gives people something to believe in" As much as I couldn't stand this person, what he spoke will always stick with me forever. And even though you might have to throw in a couple of advil after praying for your stomach ache to go away, I know God's always listening, always watching, always caring, alway's helping. I get mad at him a lot and question at times if he does exist. I blame him for things I shouldn't. Everything I go through I know I will make the outcome better in the end. People think too much Some things just don't have answers & most of the time were looking for an answer to something, we make it up and settle with whatever "makes sense" A lot of things don't make sense, such as me and life it's self. I'm fine with it. I use to think God gave us knowledge and sometimes we take what we know or want to know and turn it against him just to make up reasons for everything. My entire life does not revolve around shows, my entire life does not revolve around makeup, my entire life does not revolve around You Tube. When I'm 40 all the things I love now will not do me any good. The world does not revolve around me and the seasons don't change depending on what mood I'm in. I love parks. I love being at parks with people. I love long fences and huge fields. I love stars and starring up at the night sky. I love dreaming, and imagining, what if, what could have it been. I love when things look so beautiful just because your around someone special. I can tell if your a good person even if I met you a couple of times. I hate how the littlest things bother people. In life you make mistakes, but hopefully you learn from them. Life's about taking risks. There's so much in life. Just know life is what you make it. If you want to know more, just ask...
"How can you describe this heart in words without filling a whole book?" - Leonardo Da Vinci Thanks for stopping by. It's a pleasure to have you share my often random thoughts. For me life's like a fashion runway, you either GO HARD OR GO HOME! The journey is full of color, changes, mishaps, misfits, great moments and not so great but in the end the accomplishments met with applause makes the stage a great place to be. Grab a front-row seat and let the show begin...

You might have a piece of my kaleidoscope mind. An Inward expression, becomes Illusion in time. Return them to me, I'll give you more to see. Include with them parts of your own for my read. Furled mixtures benign, I can hear as a chime. You must make room in your heart for my rhyme. How as an aesthetic, resourceful, in tact. Outward expression under ambition adept. Passionate logic, and accurate love. A practical gateway, soft swept under rug. As, I have a niche for apologetic excitement. Cunningly relevant? No, Efficient confinement. As, I am a song bird in the jaws and on par. Deliver me sharply, I'll constitute stars. Though, If in that moment you forget who you are. I reversed our locale, to replenish your heart. If for a second you forget where you've been, I've left you the pieces to let you begin. And as for the teeth, flush, clenched 'till the end. I'll deliver you only with songs and my grin. Click the girl.
What I’m doing with my life
I look forward to watching myself grow as a person, mentally and physically. To follow what I believe in and be less influenced by others around me, to not be the perfect person for others but for myself. To have people accept me for me, not the semi-fake version they see of me. I’ll never be the perfect person I wish I was but I can’t wait to be more comfortable with myself.

Listening to people

tell their stories or life moments, no matter what sort or story it is, is captivating and although I gain nothing but satisfying my curiosity, I love it. It’s interesting to be conscious of the fact that everybody is living their own lives (or lived), and sometimes you forget that another person is really just like yourself. That we all have emotions running through us, some which we want, others that we don’t, thoughts that let us think about every little and big thing, experiences that shape our past and ourselves, really, just a huge other conscious right there. Even with those we find small minded.

Wish being able to have more control over my life was now…
I, like many others, sometimes forget that I have a lifespan of years to experience many amazing things, to have control over the life that I live, the thoughts I think, to succeed in what I wish, to be comfortable with myself, to truly love people, to find people that are absolutely perfect (in my eyes), and to love so deeply that all thoughts and emotions now are small in comparison (whether it be romantic, spiritual, or familial), to be happy with the choices I decide to pursue in my life, and to be joyous of the path I chose, even with the negatives that will continue pop up here and there in my life.
I’m really good at
✥Procrastinating
✥Empathy/Listening
✥Taking feedback and improving
✥Being very organized
✥talking to strangers
✥refusing to blindly follow fashion
✥reading in between the lines
✥feeling like a social outcast and not caring if I am
✥building my hopes up
✥giving people the benefit of the doubt
✥understanding opposing viewpoints and still disagreeing
✥escapism
✥wearing my heart on my sleeve
✥tinkering with reality
✥having a sometimes flippant attitude about the nature of human existence
✥being patient
✥sharing
✥opening my mind to new ideas
✥wondering why we exist
✥existing in a dream world
✥over analyzing
compromising
The first things people usually notice about me
✦looking at me as a whole and how I carry myself; my vibe.
✦Confidence or lack thereof in my case
✦If I can laugh at myself, or make myself the target of humor
✦My eyes... Eyes are the windows to the soul. Do I have kind eyes, lying eyes, sneaky eyes, lustful eyes. Do I make eye contact easily or do I have something to hide?
✦I'm articulate
✦Mature
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Interests:

Strangers that smile back, Peace, Love, transcendental meditation, insomnia, musicmusicmusic, raves, lucid dreaming, hugs, smoking, drinking, flora/fauna, Qabalism, spreading joy, dimethyltryptamine, streetperforming, chemical compound: C20H25N3O, pleasing all five senses, methylenedioxymethamphetamine, good music, rave rave rave, imagination, lysergic acid diethylamide, couches, floors, constant departure/perpetual arrival, staying drunk, Synesthesia, divination, kaleidoscopes, metaphysics, pranayama, reading, writing, anything that makes sound, sound, trees, TetraHydroCannibinol, MDMA, Anglicisized "uisce beatha", enjoying everything, alliteration, cloudwatching, peoplewatching, permanent vacation, circular inspiration, cooking, eating, non-objective appreciation, sunshine, drunken sing-a-longs, spraypaint, esotericism, drawing, transformative meditation,benzoylmethylecgonine, candles, light shows, rainthunderlightning, dancing, the collective conscious, the universal subconscious, bubble tea, tea, walking, thinking, grass, weeping willows, papaver somniferum, ouroboros, Koyaanisqatsi, relativity, death meditation, insense, snowball fights, Polaroids, bullshitting, painting, trainhopping, hitch-hiking, Horticulture, Egalitarian Individualism, the humor of loss, creation/destruction (self-destruction (self-invention), especially), mandalas, notebooks, daytripping, nighttripping, tripping in general, djs, animals, flowers, breaking things, partytimeexcellent, skipping, magick, shadow puppets, poetry, hairstyles, mood rings, rings, strangers/saviours, incessant fun, festivals, gnosticism, flying, public transportation, deja vu, picnics, sitting, make believe, psilocybin, Coca Cola Classic, Nip tuck, Tarocchi, trampolines, fulfilling the 10 bodhisattva grounds, hide-and-go-seek, perpetual seratonin/melatonin fluctuation, playing with strangers' dogs long enough to slightly annoy afforementioned stranger, see-saws, bodhicitta, neoplatonism, smokin' grass and looking at pretty stuff, love, imaginations, sidewalk chalk, chakrology, if it smokes I'll smoke it, anxiolytics, penpals, expressionism, back tickles, noise complaints, playgrounds, language, rhetorical tropes, eschatology, wanderingwondering, samsara defiance, barefeet, ego death, finding Bodhimanda, rolled cigarettes, change, boots, literature 'n hammocks, ajna exercise
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Music:

Abattoir, Abigor, Abhorrence, Aborted, Aborym, Abscess, Absu,Adorned Brood, Adversam, Aeternus, After Forever, Agalloch, Agathodaimon, Age of despair, Agent Steel, Agony, Algaion, Amganshan, Amon Amarth, Amulance, Anacrusis, Anasarca, Angel Corpse, Anvil Bitch, Artillery, At the Gates, Autopsy, Ars Macabra, Barathrum, Bathory, Battle Lust, Battlezone, Benediction, Beheaded, Behemoth, Beherit, Beldriam, Belladonna, Belshazzar, Bitch Cock, Black Dahlia Murder, Black Bleeding, Black Funeral, Black Sabbath, Black Winter, Blasphemy, Blood Feast, Bloodthorn, Bloodthrone, Bloodwritten, Bloody Gore, Bloody Wall Of Gore, Bound and Gagged, Bowel Erosion, Broken Hope, Bulldozer, Blyster, Cancer, Carcass (old), Cattle Decapitation, Crebain, Celtic Frost,Christ Complex, Children of Bodom, Cianide, Cirith Ungol, Coven, Cryptic Slaughter, Dark Angel, Dark Funeral Dark Tranquillity, Death, Decay, Decapitated, Dehumanized Dethroned, Death Angel, Death's Bride, Deathrow, Deicide, Demigod, Destruction, Devil Doll, Devourment, Diecast, Dimmu Borgir, Dismember, Divine Eve, Divine Empire, Dokken, DORM OF DEATH,Dying Fetus DRI, Edge of Sanity, Eat My Fuk, Engorged, EMBALMER, Emperor, Embalming Theatre, Engorged, Exhumed, Exmortem, Exodus, Fall Of Eden, Fallard Art of Dying, Fates Warning, Fear Factory,Fetal Disembowelment, Fleshcrawl,Fleshgrind, Forbidden, Freak Occurance, FRIGHTMARE, Goratory,Gored, Goreaphobia, Gorgasm, Gorguts, Gorerotted, Gorgoroth, Graveworm, Grim Reaper, Guillotine, Hallows Eve, Hardgore, Hateplow, Hecate Enthroned, Hell-Born, Hellhammer, Hellion, Helloween,Hellveto, Hemdale, Hetsheads, Hexx, Hirax, Hollenthon, Hypocrisy, Immolation, Immortal, Impaled Nazarene, Impetigo, Incantation, Internal Bleeding, Iron Maiden, Isengard, Juggernaut, Jungle Rot,Kalmah, Kaki King, Katatonia, Khert-Neter, King Diamond, Korpiklaani, Krabathor, Kreator, Kvist, Laaz Rockit, Leaves Eyes, Lethal, Lethal Aggression,Limbonic Art, Lividity, Lizzy Borden, Lord Belial Lord Gore, Mactatus, Marduk, Massacre, Master,old Megadeth, Mental Funeral, Mentors, Mercyful Fate, old Metallica, Miasthenia, Moonsorrow, Moonspell, MORBID ANGEL, Morgion, Morgoth, MORGUE, Morgul, Mortal Decay, Morta Skuld, Mortiis, MORTEM, Mortician, Mortuary ,Mortufairy, Murder Squad, Mutilated,My Dying Bride, Mykado, Mystic Circle, Mystigo Varggoth Darkestra, Mythic, Naglfar,Napalm Death,Nargaroth, Necro, Nightwish, Nile, Ninnghizhidda,Nocturnus, Nokturnal Mortum, Novembre, Novembers Doom, Nuclear Assault, Nuclear Death, Num Skull, Obituary, Obsidian, Obsession, Obtained Enslavement,Odes of Ecstasy, Officium Triste, Old Mans Child, Omen,Omnuim Gatherm, Oppressor, Overkill, Pain Killer, Pantera, Penumbra,Pestilence, Phobia, Possessed, Post Mortem, Punishment, Putrid Pile, Pyrexia, Queensryche (old),Radigost, Rain Fell Within, Ragnarok, The Ravenous, Regorge, Regurgitate, Regurgitation, Reinfection, Repulsion, Righteous Pigs, Rotting Christ, Rumpelstiltskin Grinder, Sacrifice, Sadus, Sargeist, Satan, Satanic Grounds, Satyr, Serpent Obscene, Serpens Aeon, SEVERE TORTURE, Siebenburgen, Siegfried, Sirenia, Sirius, Shadows fall, SINISTER, SLAYER, Slaughter (canada), Slechtvalk, Sodom, Solitude Aeturnus, Sorrows End, Storm, SOD, Suffocation, Summoning, Suidakra, Sword, Tankard,Tartaros, Terrorizer, Testament, THANATOS,old Theatre of Tragedy,The Black, The Legion, The Shroud, The Sins of Thy Beloved, Therion, 1349,Thou Shalt Suffer, Thy Infernal, Thyrfing, Torture, Trail of Tears, Tristania, Trollech, Tulus, Tvangeste, Type O Negative, Tyrane, Ulver, Unanimated, Vader, Venom, Vampiria, Vas, Vehemence, Vesperian Sorrow, Via Mistica, Vio-lence, Visceral Bleeding, Vital Remains, Unanimated, Uncanny, Unholy Ghost,Vinterland, Vintersorg, VON, Vond, VOMIT REMNANTS, Vomitory, Waco Jesus, War, Warspite, Wasted Youth, Whiplash, White Chocolate, Wind of the Black Mountains, Windir, Winter, Within Temptation, With Immortality,Wolfnacht, WOmentors, Wongraven, Wrath, WTN, Xentrix, Yacoepsae, Yattering, Yellow Machinegun, ZAO, Zeus, Zyklon. To list a few
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Movies

HARD CANDY
A SERBIAN FILM
LOVELY BONES
THE PATRIOT
DAWN OF THE DEAD
28 DAYS LATER
CORPSE BRIDE
THE HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES
THE DEVIL'S REJECTS
DEAD SILENCE
SEE NO EVIL
PATHFINDER
SLEEPY HOLLOW
PLANET TERROR
DOOMSDAY
LOST BOYS THE TRIBE
THE DEVILS CURSE
FEAST
INKHEART
PHOEBE IN WONDERLAND
HIDE AND SEEK
SWEENEY TODD


FOUR BROTHERS
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
HEAT
ANY GIVEN SUNDAY
NATURAL BORN KILLERS
KILL BILL
THE ROCK
FACE OFF
15 MINUTES
CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY
STARWARS TRILOGY
MATRIX TRILOGY
INDIANA JONES TRILOGY
THE X MEN TRILOGY
THE PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN TRILOGY
THE NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET TRILOGY
SUPERMAN TRILOGY
BATMAN TRILOGY
RESIDENT EVIL TRILOGY
JURASSIC PARK TRILOGY
GIA
THE CROW
ALL THE HANNIBAL LECTOR MOVIES
MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA
SPIRITED AWAY
KUNG FU HUSTLE
CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON
HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE
PRINCESS MONOKE
ALL THE HARRY POTTER MOVIES
THE UNDERWORLD TRILOGY
THE DARK CRYSTAL
THE LABYRINTH
PAN'S LABYRINTH
LEGEND
INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE
BEOWULF
300
GLADIATOR
O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU
THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION
MIRRORMASK
SILENT HILL
I AM LEGEND
WILLOW
STARDUST
THE EMPEROR'S NEW GROOVE
WALL E
AEON FLUX ANIME
MOULIN ROUGE
JUNO
SUPERBAD
FIGHT CLUB
3000 MILES TO GRACELAND
DIARY OF A MAD BLACK WOMAN
MADEA'S FAMILY REUNION
SHORT CIRCUIT
THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN
CLERKS 1 AND 2
SHAUN OF THE DEAD
SWORDFISH
MINORITY REPORT
WAR OF THE WORLDS
THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL
WE ARE MARSHALL
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE
THE MARCH OF THE PENGUINS,
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
SEVEN POUNDS
FALLEN
THE GREEN MILE
CHANGELING
GATTACA
THE WICKER MAN
DREAMCATCHER
CAST AWAY
A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT
THE FALL
SLEEPERS
RED ROSE 1 AND 2
THE MIST
1408
MIRRORS
THE SKELETON KEY
THE RING
GODSEND
THE NUMBER 23
LADY IN THE WATER
THE SIXTH SENSE
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Television:

Serial Killer Documentaries
Family Matters
Home Improvement
NYPD Blue
Law & Order:SVU
The Fresh Prince of Bel -air
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Metalocalypse
Hey Arnold
Doug
Ren & Stimpy
Celebrity Death Match
The Voice
CSI
Curb your Enthusiasm
Six Feet Under
The Sopranos
Oz
Bones
Criminal Minds
That 70's Show
Malcom in the Middle
Without a Trace
Ghost Whisperer
Moonlight
Dexter
Cold Case
Monk
The Addams Family
The Munsters
Numbers
The Simpsons
Family Guy
RobotChicken
South Park
Crank Yankers
Spongebob
Everybody Loves Raymond
Beavis & Butthead
Third Watch
Boston Public
E.R.
The Fairly Odd Parents
One Tree Hill (highschool years)
3rd Rock From The Sun
7th Heaven
Aaahh!!! Real Monsters
Ally McBeal
Almost Perfect
American Gothic
Angel
Baywatch Nights
Beavis and Butthead
Bill Nye the Science Guy
Boston Common
Boy Meets World
Charmed
Chicago Hope
City Guys
Clarissa Explains It All
Clueless
Cold Feet (USA)
The Commish
Conan The Adventurer
Cosby
Cosby Mysteries
Cracker
The Critic
Crossroads (1992)
Cupid
Cybill
Dame Edna's Hollywood
Dangerous Minds
Daria
Dark Skies
Dateline NBC
Dave's World
Dawson's Creek
Dennis Miller Live
Dexter's Laboratory
Dharma & Greg
Diagnosis Murder
Dinosaurs
Drew Carey
Early Edition
Ellen
Encore Encore
ER
Everybody Loves Raymond
Family Guy
Felicity
Ferris Bueller
Friends
Futurama
Grace Under Fire
Home Improvement
Homicide: Life On Street
Honey, I Shrunk The Kids
JAG
Judge Judy
Judging Amy
Just Shoot Me
King Of Queens
King Of The Hill
Land Of The Lost
Larry Sanders Show
Late Night With Conan O'Brien
Lateline
Law And Order
League Of Gentlemen
Lois And Clark
Millennium
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Mr. Bean
Naked Truth
The Nanny
Nash Bridges
Frasier
Freaks And Geeks
The Outer Limits
Oz
Pacific Blue
The Parkers
The Practice
The Pretender
The Profiler
Ren and Stimpy
Renegade
Rescue (1977)
Robocop
Roswell
Seinfeld
The Sentinel
Sister, Sister
Sliders
Spin City
Spongebob Squarepants
Sports Night
Stark Raving Mad
Step by Step
The Steve Harvey Show
That 70s Show
They Came From Outer Space
The Tick (1994)
Veronica's Closet
Walker Texas Ranger
Wayans Brothers
Weird Science
Welcome To Paradox
The West Wing
Young Hercules
Young Indiana Jones
Zoe
Zorro
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Some of my favorite books: Vampire Chronicles, Lasher, Bram Stokers Dracula, Taltos, The Witching Hour, Guilty Pleasures, The Laughing Corpse, Circus of the Damned, The Lunatic Cafe, Bloody Bones, The Killing Dance, Burnt Offerings, Blue Moon, Obsidian Butterfly, Narcissus in Chains, Cerulean Sins, Incubus Dreams, Micah, Danse Macabre, The Harlequin, Dead Until Dark, Living Dead in Dallas, Club Dead, Dead to the World, Dead as a Doornail, Definitely Dead, All Together Dead, Eternal Love, Prince of Twilight, Eternity, Voices of Blood, Fantasy Lover, Night Pleasures, Night Embrace, Dance with the Devil, Kiss of the Night, Night Play, Seize the Night.

Some of my favorite Authors are: H. P. Lovecraft, Laurell K. Hamilton, Charlaine Harris, Anne Rice, J. K. Rowling, Edgar Allen Poe, J. R. Ward, Lara Adrian, Kerrelyn Sparks, Lynsay Sands, Sherrilyn Kenyon and Maggie Shayne...
The six things I could never do without
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My belief is that when all is said and done, we only have ourselves. We arrive in this world and depart it the same way: alone. All the rest, everything in between—even our relationships to our most beloved loved ones—is not ours to “do without.” It’s all there to enjoy and make the most of, to enrich our experiences of living and learning and evolving… As much as I absolutely LOVE my life, everyone close to me, my experiences and surroundings, the parts of myself I couldn’t do without are few:

My intellect; how my mind is always peeling away the layers, trying to find the “why” behind, oh, just about everything! Searching for truths… New ways… Simple wisdoms… the Light…

The ability to readily laugh at myself, at life; to feel and revel in everything as fully and with as much joyous abandon as I can manage!

My ability to love, love everything: people, animals, nature, events, concepts, life itself…

The power of thinking, an ability to enjoy, a capacity for love… Yes, these three things. And I plan to hang on to all three for the duration!

My family. The love and support I give and receive is what makes my world go around. They make my heart sing. I would die for any one of them. I will live enjoying and appreciating their presence, feeling honored we are together on this journey. My feelings are the same for friends although not as intense.

Wisdom. What I’ve learned from my life experiences is precious stuff. Live simply. Give more. Expect less. Choose to bring love to every situation. Expect good things to happen. Acknowledge beauty and wonder. Enjoy the present trust in the future. Initiate change. I have a profound greatness. Surrender. Forgive… Speak less and listen more.

My dreams. Anything is possible…at any time! I remain open to infinite opportunities.

My positive attitude. I envision the best for me and the best for you. I see the best possible outcome for any situation in which I’m involved.

My thirst for knowledge and willingness to change and grow. My desire to take 100% responsibility for my life.

My limitless future. I face the world boldly. I experience life with joy. I believe in myself and my talents. The best is yet to come!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Current thought of the Day:

Sometimes I try to imagine what it’s like to have an absolutely calm mind: a conscious like the sea, washing over an object of concentration, not preoccupied with itself or anything else. Of course, there have been moments like this. After all, I do have the ability to concentrate. But the nature of the beast is that you never notice. Once you take note that you’re concentrating fully and unselfconsciously on one thing, you’ve broken the spell: if you noticed that you were concentrating on one thing, that means you must have been concentrating on at least one other thing, the noticing. So the mark of flow or mindfulness is that once you notice it, it’s gone. Since you can’t observe the beast in its natural habitat, you must simulate it, either in the theater of memory or before the movie-projector of the imagination. But again, the nature of the thing is elusive: it seems that, by concentrating fully on one thing, we fail to commit to memory what never occurs to us in the moment, namely, the feeling of full concentration. So memories of this state are always vague at best: I remember the post-flow buzz, but not the preceding flow. Or I remember details of whatever it was I was concentrating on: it is as if the memory sees through thinking, as if thinking has become a perfectly clear and non-refractive glass through which we see our object of study, so clear, in fact, that it becomes invisible. This is, of course, an illusion, because although we might imagine that we’re seeing the object unaltered and unfiltered, the very act of seeing is a filter and an alteration; it’s impossible for our awareness of a thing to be that thing, because a sensation is not a book or a hand-wave or a smile; if it is a thing at all, it’s a thing of the mind, not whatever is external to it. (This actually suggests an intriguing thought experiment: could there be a brain that, through some mechanism, had an acute awareness of some subset of its neurons, and that this awareness was located in this specific subset, so that, in effect, the neuron-complex was the awareness of the neuron-complex? Does it even make sense to speak of awareness as being located in or identical to neurons? But I digress.)

Memory may be of little help, but the imagination is worse. We can’t imagine how a phenomenological experience would feel unless it is sufficiently close to one that we’ve already felt. Mary lives in a black and white world for her entire life, and there she learns all there is to learn about the science of color. Then she escapes and sees, for the first time, the color red. Does she learn anything new? Well, I’d say she learns how it feels to see the color red. In the same way we learn something new when we taste something that tastes like nothing we’ve tasted before — no matter how long we’ve been fantasizing about it, no matter how hard we try to imagine what the taste-experience might be like. The experience of a still but focused mind, then, seems inaccessible: we can’t remember it, we can’t observe it when it’s ongoing, and without relevant reference points, we can’t imagine it, either.

How is it, then, that I’m convinced it’s such a great state to be in? Why is it that I so crave and seek it?

A lot of times I question myself: what's wrong with me? What's not to love in me? What's so complicated about me? What's lacking in me? I torture myself into thinking these kinds of questions because people keep saying, "you're beautiful or you're pretty or you're kind" and all, "why don't you have a boyfriend?" Then I tell them, I don't know because I really don't. Am I not good enough for people (guys) nowadays? Is there a certain criteria I have to follow?
I'm not complaining about not having a boyfriend but I also want to experience having someone there to take care of me, knowing that he thinks of me often and misses me at times. Someone whom I'm constantly in love with and who's constantly in love with me. Someone whom I can share my problems, ideas and thoughts with. Someone who can sing for me and whom I can create music with. Or even someone who'll say good night to me in the hope of waking up in the morning knowing that he's still there and will always be there for me. Someone whom I can be myself with, someone who can laugh at my corny jokes or even make corny jokes so I can laugh. Someone whom I can always trust and will always be honest with me. Of course, I also want to be all this for that person. The problem is, no one comes to me and tells me that they like me, or something like that.

I'm happy being single but for once I would like to try that so-called "having butterflies in the stomach" kind of feeling when you're around the person you love and who loves you back. Of course, I know that it will not be all good. There may be sad times but that's all part of it.
Do I sound that desperate? I hope not. I just want to find some answers to these questions in my mind. Who wouldn't want to be loved by someone special anyway (I mean except for family and friends of course)?

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You ever felt like going to the top of a tall skyscraper, standing on the edge, holding your arms out, and just letting go? Not just letting go of your footing, but letting go of every care, every worry, everything that you wish you could escape in life.To feel COMPLETELY free of EVERYTHING, if even for a few minutes. What about that pavement at the bottom of the fall? That's when you sprout your wings and fly off over the city, just a couple seconds before the ground and you connect.If only things really worked like that, because I feel like doing it just about every day.

I have spent nearly all of my life, consciously at times and subconsciously at others, searching for truth. This is my quest, my mission, my everything. I have followed this path without fail for years now.
I have learned so much in the last year, it makes my head spin at times. The tricky part is, every time that I learn one thing that can be called truth, I discover it is not something that latch onto and make the focal point of my life. Rather it is the key to hundreds of other truths, that are equally important, and equally able to unlock even more truths.
This endless process has made many a seeker turn away, grab hold of what they have learned and leave the path content in knowing only some of what is truth. Like a gambler they reach a point where the believe it is better to leave with some chips than none at all, and they exit the game. Not realizing that although there are points in the game where you will lose all of your chips, with one truth you will destroy everything that you have thought to stand on and fight for... this is all part of it! That is at times the most important part, to be redefined, to be reshaped, to be reborn... you must die.
In all honesty I cannot list the things that I have learned because they are not those sorts of truths. I can tell you that in the last year, mostly in the last 3 months, I have gained more definition of who I am than in the last 5 years. I know far more about what I will and will not do, what I will stand for and what I am willing to let go. I already seemed to most to be confident in who I am, more than many of those around me. Imagine that times 10. Scary huh? I have only one suggestion then: Do not oppose truth. If you do not find yourself in opposition to truth you will not find yourself in oppostion to me.
Truth is found in life, no one book has all of it, no one person has all of it. We need to experience every aspect of life completely to find it. Keep searching, keep trying. In the end if you all gain is definition of who you are, that is the ultimate prize
On a typical Friday night I am
Probably drunk, passed out somewhere waking up the next morning complaining my head hurts, and asking myself, "What the hell happened"
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
It's hard to explain something when I don't even know where to begin, even harder when my words, thoughts, emotions are all on a whim. When every whispering thought inside me falls silent and ceases to respond when I demand answers to my questions. To myself. Why have you done this? Why will you do this? Why did you leave? Goodness, gracious me. A million answerless questions. What I have chosen is painful, brings stinging tears to my wretched eyes, burns my flesh with it's dawn arriving, with it's date decending, with every minute, second beat of my flimsy heart brings me closer to when the decision must be finalized into something real, rather than this elusive bullsh*twandering around my head. Funny how I know I have chosen something, I just don't know exactly what it is right now. Perhaps I do. Perhaps I'm just lying to you, and to me, and to everybody that professes their so-called 'love' for me. I have spent every waking moment in thought. Every moment in thought I am thus in pain. Searing ******* pain caused by more than my own issues- but the issues affecting so many people. Thoughts racing with fear. Rage. The rare glimpse I see of something positive is often washed away by a multitude of black and disgusting, vile and evil thoughts. I spent the majority of my life thinking that grudges and hatred were horrible things, often expressing this to my parents and friends who felt like expressing their anger to me. Now, however, I hold nothing BUT grudges, and feel nothing but hatred. I leave behind people who I thought meant the world to me, and find them barely a ******* thought in my head. Unless I'm grieving. The future scares me. To death. Forever is a concept I just do not accept, because I have never SEEN forever. Men leave women. Women leave men. Friends leave friends. Families leave families. Even the world parts sections to abandon pieces of land. Nothing in the world remains. Eventually, even the mark of mankind will fade away to a mere blur- ignored by the valiant surviving races of animals. If any survive. Life and death is meaningless. And then what? What do I do now that I know this, that I know- no matter how hard I try, I WILL BE ABANDONED. Or be the abandoner. And every feeling I feel is a ruse. Life is full of quid pro quo. The problem here... I have nothing to give. My potential was whiped away, smeared, blackened, and left out for the flies to place maggots in. I am not better than the next person. I do not deserve to live anymore than anyone else. Haha. I keep realizing how many people I have lost. Once, I was a sociable- albeit- introverted human. "If you often smile, but often don't smile- which do you do more often? Smile? Or not?" I keep choosing the most ridiculous things to live for, and they entertain me for a minute, but quickly my mind is diverted, I am abandoned, or I fail at the task at hand. Nothing I want is worth striving for. Haha. Again, a statement made multiple times. A girl once told me that no matter how many times they have heard my story- it still affects me, and is thus still worthy of telling. That I should continue to tell it until it changes, or is fixed. And that she would be willing to listen forever. Forever. I don't see forever. I see never. I find myself regretting giving sentimental items to the people no longer in my life. A ring from a Grandmother I had never known, but I DID because she is inside me- just as the flesh of her son was inside her. Toy dogs that meant the world to me. That held vivid memories attached to their plastic. Gone now. Journals traded between two extremely different friends. My soul in writing. A word in writing can be forgotten, scratched away, and hidden- so long as other eyes never gaze upon it. Like a sound- unless one is there, no one will have known it even existed. There is no price on words. be retrieved, never to return, never to be repeated. Living is just a pain. Painful. Painful. Painful. I wish to breathe no more.
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Smile even though it hurts.

Tell everyone that you are happy.

Masquerade.

Pretend that you fall asleep to the tachycardia of his ventricles dilating in hedonistic ecstasy beneath the windshield of his lip bleached with the blossoming dew of perspiration,

do not admit to the probing rat noses of the intrusive masses that you lose consciousness in the midst of your tedium induced narcolepsy to the hum of space heaters churning as though they are seasick metal coffins burning with the labor pains of indigestion,

be as Atlas;

do not crumble the diminutive Everest peaks of your twin shoulder blades beneath the glacial weight of their pryingly insipid gazes punctuated by the intrigued cocking of their semicolon eyebrows,

a hapless carpenter ant crisping beneath the pinpoint pupil of a sun drenched magnifying glass too broken to move to the verdant salve of the shade,

respond as though you still possess the faint traces of a pulse remaining,

as though you are an indomitable creature trimmed from the stoically unflinching cloth of sociopaths,

as though you are a BEING not a vessel,

as though you are the pregnant womb of a tulip strewn Eastertide Church not the sterile uterus of an icy Cathedral creaking in the bowels of a Russian midwinter,

comb the flaxseed mane of your hair demurely with the chipped keratin murals of your fingernails as though you have a litany of raucous plans etched in the calligraphy nooses of your copious tattoos other than formulating government conspiracy plots behind the porcelain necks of teapots and the graying skins of door mice,

as though you do not mechanically retire to the surface of bed linens resigned to the fetal position before the golden spill of sunset climaxes like a small blue buoy suffocating in the furious bloodstream of the Pacific,

as though your wearied frame collapses moments before coral sunrises with the sinews of your arms and legs outstretched like the crucified limbs of brazen starfish too flippant to arrange themselves in a semblance of utopian symmetry,

preach in verbose litanies as though you know the flirtatious name of every cocktail fermenting behind the marble lip of the bar like you have made shadowed deals and insider connections within the pulsating synapses of petri dish night clubs and saloons,

drop the names of bartenders onto city streets like bodies of orphaned copper pennies unknowingly vomited from the peppermint striped lining of your pockets,

become nobody’s someone in the malnourished stomach of your vacant bamboo furbished apartment as though you smoke Blue Camels in the incensed backseats of Chevys until the sclera of your hazel eyes water in the Absolut Citron streams of a most perfect drowning,

swivel the blown hourglass crystal of your hips as though you strip off the shackle of your halo each midnight beneath the tanned tendons of his prying knuckles like a discarded lace neglige stacked in seductive cordwood formation upon the imploded supernova of his denim jeans,

speak with lurid affect as though you are a salacious diver who has swallowed rivers of him until your emptiness sighed on the anesthetic infusion of saline intoxication,

as though you have memorized every unbound centimeter of his testosterone clad highway and he has plagiarized the archaic manuscript of your skin,

pretend that he loves you as though you can feel something other than the staccato Morse Code orchestra of pain reverberating within your conch shell ears like an aspirin overdose backfired in the belly of your garage,

fraternize with the ghosts of prostitutes and hold your cigarette between the same ivory etchings of teeth eroded by the browning gutter tidewaters of unloosed bulimia,

apply kohl eyeliner in appendectomy scars of upturned steak knives so you can grin at heaven with the razor blade sharpness of your costume party blindness,

pretend that you are more than the iridescent underside of a garden snail ebbing and flowing towards Xanadu slower than Mercury lost to hotel room scores of Morphine highs,

inhale deeply as though there is a greater reason beyond the involuntary twitches of muscle reflexes jerking in the asphyxiated tunnel of your servile diaphragm,

hide the autographed skins of your suicide notes beneath the sinister ribcages of floorboards alongside the decaying corpses of calendar pages plucked like the spurned heads of daisies counting days until dying,

cover the Jacob’s ladder mirror of your hairless scars beneath the plasticized memorial of particolored bangles and whipped leather chokers bound so tightly that your digits become as pale as the arctic branches of frostbitten hikers,

laugh on key and with ease as though each soprano bell peal is sufficient enough to paralyze the gnawing acid erosion of emptiness growing within you, casting shadows along the creeping ivy of nervous tissues glistening in anatomical pink,

write prosaic odes to happiness on the stripped sheaths of dry cleaning receipts like you have fostered it before, as if it is a familiar sensation you can revisit and revel in at will,

speak as though depression is a concentration camp paradise delegated for the enslavement of only the souls of the weak and the lowly like you have never been confined to hell within the frigid incubator of its jaws,

act as though there is more to you than pain,

pretend that you are happy.

Smile even though it hurts.
I’m looking for
  • Straight guys only
  • Ages 24–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends
You should message me if
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Who I'd like to meet: Digging into Details: My door is always open. I want to meet beautiful people [on the inside]. I want to meet people who don't give a damn about materialism, possessions, valuables, quality, quantity, superficialism, money, prizes. If you're here to boast about your latest expensive gains, grab some napkins, 'cause I'm going to spew all over you. I welcome: People who strive. People who climb. People who have incredible creative minds that have absolutely no boundaries. I want to meet people who inspire... When you get two, three, four like minds together, it's amazing what you can come up with. I love meeting people who possess FREE SPIRITS I'm a dreamer. Are you? Dream with me. And bask in it. I have a secret: I'm probably the biggest hopeless romantic you will ever meet. So much that my friends even teases me about it. I would like to study what is considered the abnormal. Because sometimes the same old scene can get too repetitive and ugly. I have met a wide variety of walks of life, and continue to meet more. BE YOURSELF TO YOUR FULLEST POTENTIAL. I provide that environment for you. Take good care of it. I love to bask in a RELAXED environment. Come n' kick it.

Laying down the Law: Let's get one thing straight... I am blunt. I am forward. If you want truth, I have it. But if you're looking to play games in order to get what you want from me, then know that I will sense this almost immediately. Do not judge me off my first impression. Do not assume my intentions. Do not slap a label on me just to categorize what kind of person I am. I don't fight... I discuss and I work through. FORGIVE-FORGET-ACCEPT-MOVE ON Have a little bit of heart during your stay

✖ If you think you and I might have some sort of chemistry

✖ If you want some change when it comes to the
"typical" girls you talk to. If you just want someone who's different

✖ If by chance I spark your curiosity and you want to know more about me. You're ALWAYS welcome to stop by and say 'Hello'

✖ Do it because you want to, not because you feel forced or you feel obligated to

All I ask is that when you come to my channel, you treat me with the same respect you would want to be treated with. But as far as that, I'm pretty chill. :)

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Get to know her as an individual, don’t just base personality on how a girl looks, deep inside is a girl who’s been through so much, she has trusted only to be hurt over and over again, she has a story that you don’t know so take the time to listen to her, understand her point of view instead of making assumptions, she has a mind full of thoughts which explain how or why she feel the way she does so take a step into her mind and pay attention to what she says or how she feels, this shows her that you genuinely care about her, it lets her know that you can look past her imperfections, mistakes, or flaws and still like her for who she is as a person. Remember, love isn’t based on looks, it’s based on how someone can make you feel, that feeling that only they bring out in you, the butterflies and the genuine smiles.
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