36 Stratford, CT
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My self-summary
Reverse psychology doesn't work.

You're going to judge me based mostly on that cover picture aren't you? Then I might as well use the sexy eye-catching one. Most of the time, I'm just a wise ass for the sheer fun of it.

Sometimes you may think that my opening message to you sucked. I'm not apologizing for it, I'm just letting you know that I am aware. And I'd like to encourage you to think outside that opening line, unless you think it was funny, then please do focus on that for the moment. Smiley face.

How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate its tits a lot. If you can appreciate a joke of that nature, then you might want to consider reading on.

I've been told that I am intense. (from women on this website after they've read this profile) Ugh.

There is a place in Niantic called The Book Barn. If you like to read you would enjoy a trip there.

It's online dating. Let's not go into this too seriously.

I believe every single human is born good. It takes time to get a human to turn bad. But even then, I believe they can choose to turn back to the good side if they want to.

I sit on my TV and watch the couch.

It is far less predictable that way.

"If you can heal the symptoms but not affect the cause, it's quite a bit like trying to heal a gunshot wound with gauze."

What most men don't understand is that you have to stimulate a woman's brain before you can stimulate her body. Most of them go straight for the shallow end of the pool, telling women how hot they are, (they already know) which is why they usually fail. Even if a guy is just looking for sex, if he knew anything at all he would know that good sex follows only after a good mental connection. We are not porn stars. (even though some of us could be:) But I digress, the art of courtship is lost on most of the modern man. A damn shame.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm not playing video games, that's for sure. I'll have plenty of time to stare into a box when I'm dead. (That is a joke, as is much of this profile. Ha!)

Right now I pay my bills by being a CNC machinist. The place where I work makes mostly helicopter parts.

I live alone. No one splits the bills with me. Freedom isn't free. Yet, war is still a crime. Get it?

I still play in a couple of basketball leagues. Recreational, nothing too serious. I'm usually the best player on the floor. It's mildly ego-stroking.

Usually coasting along, thinking about doing grand, noble things. Trying to get people to stop taking pictures of themselves. Writing. My friend told me, after she read my profile that I was very scary. That may be, but that's because humans usually fear the unknown. There is nothing (really) scary about me. Children and dogs love me instantly, and the feeling is mutual. My current occupation does not define me. Planning to save the world, but it won't begin until after I die. Making strangers smile. Starting conversations with strangers in public places just to make us feel more human. Learning.
I’m really good at
Have Scrabble, will smush you. Ha! (not joking)

Going to concerts. Especially ones where the band gets into deep grooves and I can dance my little hippie white boy dance. I'm much more graceful naked or while dribbling a basketball.

Stirring emotion, making people laugh and think, fishing, basketball, frying bacon, reading out loud, blasting music, sarcasm and listening. Subconscious influence. Rolling up/down the passenger side window while driving. Using objects that aren't tools, as tools. Being the leader of a group, though part of me wants to just blend in. Oh, and I cannot wait until zombies are no longer popular. I am also really good at chess, you can't beat me, but please try. Do you know how turned on I would get if you beat me at a game of chess? I punctuate my text messages fully.
The first things people usually notice about me
I think differently and my eyes. I am a joker. I will disagree with you, for fun and to test your reaction and character. I am smiling. The only good thing about you women and you posting closeup pictures with half of your face covered with sunglasses is that I can look in the reflection of the lenses and see how unkempt your living quarters are. How little fashion sense I have.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
BOOKS: The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, The Dharma Bums, On The Road, I Heard You Paint Houses, Walden, The Complete Journals Of Lewis And Clark, Larry Bird's autobiography, They Shoot Canoes Don't They?, Days Of Infamy, Black Boy, Of Mice And Men, The Gangs Of New York, Chronicles by Bob Dylan, Freethinkers, The 48 Laws Of Power, Ted Williams-My Way, The Wisdom Of The Native Americans, Uncle Tom's Cabin, To Kill A Mockingbird, Country Living And Thinking, The Doors Of Perception....MOVIES: Caddyshack, Rounders, White Men Can't Jump, Hoop Dreams, Rudy, Full Metal Jacket, Most any documentary, Die Hard 3, Instructional fishing videos, A River Runs Through It, Finding Nemo, The Jetsons Meet The Flintstones, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Aladdin, I do not enjoy watching horror movies and I will do almost anything to avoid watching one. My brain can do without those images floating around in there......SHOWS: Frasier, King Of The Hill, Murphy Brown, The Simpsons, Any fishing show, The Muppet Show, Original Looney Tunes, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, I guess I should mention here that I have not had TV programming at my apartment for about 5 years. I have to go to a friend's house in order to watch sporting events that interest me. A television in the bedroom is a crime. I am no fan of TV, but I won't judge you if you are. I think the TV is one of the biggest reasons that group thinking exists on such a mass level and if everyone got rid of it for a length of time, they wouldn't want it back. They would like thinking for themselves........MUSIC: The Grateful Dead, Phish, Pre-1989 Aerosmith, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Frank Zappa, Santana, Any bluegrass, Steve Vai, Buddy Guy, Deep Purple, almost any non-digital music without lyrics, Jerry Garcia Band, Trey Anastasio Band, AC/DC, Neil Young, KISS, Bob Dylan, Black Sabbath, The Offspring, Sublime, The Doors............FOOD: seafood, sushi, bacon, lasagna, pancakes, cheeseburgers, curly fries, broccoli, green beans, corn on the cob, chocolate, cheesecake, nectarines, white cherries. Pretty much everything but raw onion.
The six things I could never do without
"In the cool shade of the banana tree
On the rugged trail toward the balcony
A child of the twentieth century
A dried up Goliath and a weasel named Fee

Far away in another place
A fading beauty named Milly Grace
A gospel singer with pocks on her face
And a bamboo cane to help her keep the pace

Fee was a Buddhist prodigy
Long past the age of maturity
Someday he knew it would set him free
Like it did for Floyd the chimpanzee

Oh, Fee, you're trying to live a life
That's completely free.
You're racing with the wind
You're flirting with death
So have a cup of coffee
And catch your breath

Fee first met Milly in a bar in Peru
His heart was jumping like a kangaroo
Like a beast in a cage in an old Dutch zoo
It was hopping and thumping in wooden shoes

But Floyd was jealous and alone
He wanted Milly for his own
A desperate craving in his bones
"Their love", he said, "I will not condone."

Then one day on a ship to Quebec
Floyd found Fee and Milly on a lover's trek
He picked up a bottle and broke off the neck
It sliced through the air, and Fee hit the deck

Oh, Fee, you're trying to live a life
That's completely free
You want to stay with Milly
Until you're dead
But you just got a bottle
Upside your head

Milly turned and began to scream at Floyd
she said "You think you're pretty mean"
And though she was as thin as a small string bean
She slammed him in the face with a nectarine

Floyd fell back over the edge of the ship
Till he hung from the rail by his fingertip
Milly said, "Floyd I'll make you lose your grip
With this tiny piece of paper I can make you slip"

So Milly took that paper and did the deed
Floyd hit the water with astonishing speed
And as the sharks circled in and began to feed
Milly knew her weasel was finally free

Oh, Fee, you're trying to live a life
That's completely free
Floyd is dead he's nothing but a ripple
Cause Milly took that paper
And sliced him on the nipple"
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Saving the world. Future conversations. Humping. How I can get better at golf without actually golfing. How I can pull off doing standup comedy with a Halloween mask on. Fishing. I do a lot of fishing in my brain. I do a lot of a lot in my brain. Marriage insurance and how to get it off the ground and running.
On a typical Friday night I am
Playing basketball. Reading. Writing. Avoiding math.

I do have a social life. It doesn't involve booze though.

***Did you know that both a "social" fake smile and a real genuine smile start from distinctly different parts of the face? And that if you know where to look, it is very easy to distinguish between the two. Looking at pictures on this website has me thinking, and now writing, that some of you ladies need a little practice at faking it.

Also, there is a difference between smiling, and showing us that you've brushed your teeth. Ha!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
"I am a child, I'll last a while. You can't conceive of the pleasure in my smile."

Also, I will not leave my apartment without having had made the bed first.

And, my eyes glow in the dark.

I do not own a pair of sunglasses and don't plan to. I like when the sun is in my eyes. It gives me a chance to practice my squint.

I recently started collecting stamps again after a twenty-something year hiatus. I can make anything fun. Anything.

Are you a pixel addict? I can help you look away.

The duck face needs to stop, people.
You should message me if
You think. Also, if you like to shake your bum to The Moma Dance because that is the kind of stuff I shake my bum to. You think you can make me make that face.