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19 London, UK Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18–31
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
May 13
Straight, Gay, Homoflexible
Middle Eastern, Native American, Hispanic / Latin, White, Other
5′ 1″ (1.55m)
Body type
Judaism, and laughing about it
More than $1,000,000
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs and has cats
English, Portuguese (Fluently), Spanish (Fluently), Other (Fluently), Czech (Okay)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a false advertisement, I'm not as cute, funny or smart in real life. I'm also a Strong Independent Black Womyn (who don't).

I'm a South-American world-traveler currently moving to Cambridge. I've been around a lot and lived in the UK, Switzerland, (my lovely) Czech Republic and a few other places.

I enjoy messing with people, thus can be quite unpleasant. I'm a major pain in the ass, really. I like funny and witty people, so if you're like that come and talk to me. If you're a Monty Python fan I already consider you my brother.

I'm very interested in martial arts. I'm involved with BJJ and Karate. Though I currently am out of training due to an injury.

I have way too many pictures and this profile is way too long. I also identify way too much with every It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia character, so I am probably a horrible person.

P.S.: Holidays in Southern Europe!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Traveling the world, learning different languages, teaching different things, meeting different people. And now stopping in England for a few years to get a degree (STEMM).

Basically I just hop from country to country, either for tourism or studies (Majorly my destinations' language and culture), and try to make the most out of it until I get a new opportunity somewhere else.

I volunteer with the disabled whenever I can, used to do so a lot in Prague but as soon as I settle down in Cambridge I want to start again (if anyone could give me any tips on how that works in the UK, I'd really appreciate it).

Also, watching BBW dwarf porn. You go girl.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
getting into extremely passionate discussions about ordinary/irrelevant things and convincing people to join me in overly impulsive activities. Also, pottery. No, seriously, I'm really good at pottery. (+10 points if you're willing to reenact that scene of Ghost but with a dick-shaped vase instead while Righteous Brothers plays in the background; +20 points if you want to make that idea into a gay porn starring Tom Cruise and Nicolas Cage, with a Sasha Grey cameo) And looking like I just came out of a bad porno.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Probably my fiery red hair.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Music: I listen to a variety of different artists from a variety of
genres, like Tropkillaz, Ani DiFranco, Fleshgod Apocalypse, Led Zeppelin, Anaal Nathrakh, Elvis Presley, Amon Amarth, Tom Waits, Korpiklaani, Opeth, Frank Sinatra, Orphaned Land, Roni Size, Cacife Clandestino, Kultiration, on, and on, and on...

Movies: Some titles I like are Big Fish, Fargo, The Big Lebowski,
Reservoir Dogs, The Ladykillers, Goodfellas, Fight Club, Shaun of the dead, Jay and Silent Bob Strike back, every Monty Python one (I FUCKING LOVE MONTY PYTHON). I really enjoy horror films, and admit to finding the old, trashy, low-budget ones to be the most entertaining. On the other hand, I'm a huge fan of Kieślowski, specially his Dekalog TV series (As you can see by the username, referring to it's sixth part).

Books: Some of my very favourite titles are 1984, Animal Farm,
Bratya Karamazovy, The Hellbound Heart, Memórias de um Sargento de Milícia, Dom Casmurro, The Unbearable Lightness of Being and The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs.

Games: Pokémon, Conker's Bad Fur Day (love this shit.), Banjo-Kazooie, Shadow of the Colossus, The Legend of Zelda and Mario Fucking Party. When out of stuff to do I may venture myself on some horror-ish ones like Amnesia or Rule of Rose, but that's usually about it. As for board games, I'm a Risk mastermind, so beware.

Food: This is probably a deal breaker for a lot of people so I'll tell you straight away. I use Splenda.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Ferrets (and otters, and polecats and all that stuff that look like weasels)
Muller Rice (don't judge)
Butt showers (or "bidet showers", for you, proper people)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
why on earth do I put so much effort on learning those insane, beautiful, useless languages (I'm looking at you, Czech - And now at you too, Finnish. Seriously, the fuck am I doing?).

If [insert insect name] have a penis.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I'm probably home watching some shitty films wearing polka dot pajamas or playing the 3DS my brother got me recently. It looks just as sexy as it sounds. Or I might just be dancing till 6 a.m. on the streets in Lisbon with random people (and getting back home with multiple bruises on my leg). At this point, you just never really know.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I can't ride a bike.

Also, I'd do Bill Hicks. Yes, currently. Yes, I know he's dead (always up for some necrofunlia).
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you really need to learn;

you believe we're living in a world of fools;

breaking us down;

when they all should let us be;

we belong to you and me.

(P.S.: Sorry for being so tacky, I was just listening to the song and, and I couldn't help myself. Actually, the pina colada song was here before so you should just be grateful, you little shit)