Are you looking for something different?
Are you looking for someone who doesn’t take life seriously? Do you want someone who likes the simple things, such as the smell of mown grass, a bird chirping, and burglary? Want someone to take you on an adventure? Want someone creative who draws, writes and acts a lot? Perhaps you’d like to be with someone who likes to have fun and refuses to let others be sad?
Well, you’ve come to the right place!
But wait! There’s more!
For a limited time only, I will repel spiders in your home. No more scary shit in your basement! With a 92% success rate, I will automatically banish any spiders within a mile radius of your home!
Message now, and you’ll get not one, not two, but THREE KITTENS IN THE POST! These kittens are bred to be the cutest things in all of existence. How cute are these kittens? 10 OUT OF 10 ON SEAN CONNERY’S OFFICIAL CUTE-O-METER, THAT’S HOW CUTE! THESE KITTENS LIGHT UP THE HOUSE LIKE IT’S MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTMAS.
Message now to take advantage of this limited time offer!
*please note, if the kittens are out of stock, you shall receive a complimentary ant-farm, or failing this, a jar of filth and ash.
I'm more than a little weird. I'm very good at not making sense.
I'm great with Photoshop. I can do stuff on there that would make your eyes water. If your eyes don't water, don't worry. I can just make them look like they're watering in Photoshop.
It really bothers me when people are upset or feeling down, so I’m always trying to cheer guys up. Remember the one person you always knew how to fix your love life, but could never get their own shit together?
I also know the entire LOTR and Harry Potter saga scripts by heart...which is sortof pathetic but oh well.
If you need any monsters killing, I could probably do it. I've watched enough Supernatural to pick up tips. Plonk me down in a room full of ghosts and wendigos and I could totally survive.
It’s probably the stuff I say to be honest. I like saying normal things in different ways. Odd compliments are my thing. I once sent a girl the following:
“You make my heart strong. And my prostate stronger.”
Thank God she laughed. Oh Jesus, I just re-read it and I cringed so hard I heard a creak in my neck. Even my laptop shook it’s head and muttered “Dude…”
I'm a fan of comedy too. Anything by Edgar Wright is great, from Spaced to Shaun of the Dead. Same goes for Joss Whedon. I find that older comedy is so much better than the modern stuff. The Two Ronnies, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, all amazing. Although I do like Friends, American Dad, Family Guy, Robot Chicken, Adventure Time, Parks and Recreation, Doctor Who, Breaking Bad and Sherlock.
Movies...I vary quite a lot. Action, horror, comedy, all good. Taken, Die Hard, Indiana Jones, The Avengers, The Green Mile, Shawshank Redemption, The Dark Knight trilogy, Iron Man, Harry Potter, Back to the Future, Dead Poets Society, the list goes on.
I love Michael Jackson, and since I'm also a part time dance-alike, I could listen to his music all day. I like 80's music the best. No particular artist though, just that style. I listen to a lot of radio shows like XFM, I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again, and Ivor Cutler. Again, anything comedy based.
I'm a PS3 gamer as well, though I normally only like stuff that either has a good story or concept...no mindless killing for me. My top games would have to be Uncharted, The Last of Us, Heavy Rain, Skyrim, Portal and Dear Esther.
Food...I guess chicken's always good. Roast chicken and gravy would do me. And BBQ sauce. Thick rivers of BBQ sauce. Oh, and bacon. Anything in bacon.
2) Finding humour in everything
3) Drawing materials
4) Generally interesting and quirky people.
5) A good solid internet connection.
6) Pugs. Slight obsession
A serious thing? OK: I'm a very very shy person in reality. Being weird and quirky around people is my coping mechanism. It helps me relax.