Some might see fit to describe me as an "idiot man-child." Those who love me might say I'm a child at heart, and also an idiot. Personally, I prefer to think I'm fun!

I tend to be belligerent and a goofy in a group, which betrays the more peaceful, if still a little loony, side I exhibit when I'm alone with someone or in places where I'm supposed to behave.

I'm loyal, kind, and very generous with those I care about, (and everyone else can get bent). I genuinely try to be what I consider a good person, and it bothers me when I fall short of my own expectations.

Also, I may be armed. Yes, I do think this is a right. No, I don't conceal and carry. If questioned I will refuse to acknowledge that this has anything to do with any sort of oncoming zombie apocalypse.

Better on the safe side though... right?

According to this site my friend Yacomeinhehah is less methodical, and... well... I can't say if that recommends him or not but he's fun and Asian and I hear some people like that sort of thing so you might want to check him out...

I earned a degree at the UMN Morris campus in English and Philosophy, so, naturally, I work for the railroad as a freight conductor. Many people think that this a life of travel and adventure. They are wrong. I go to Wisconsin and I come home from Wisconsin and nothing of interest ever happens unless we hit something along the way.

I (usually) work at night, which gives me an excuse for the terrible sleep habits I maintained through high-school and college. I'm not fond of waking much earlier than noon and even less fond of being woken up.

I'm actually very happy with it, the hours kind of suck but it is a low/no stress environment and lets me spend time outdoors enjoying the lovely Minnesota/Wisconsin seasons.

Mostly I have my life nailed down and have gotten to the point where I'm just biding time until I become a weathly landowner, the only thing I'm missing is the missis.

Hear-tell I give a pretty decent back-rub. I'm a good cook, particularly when it comes to grilling. People say I'm a good writer, but I'm too easily sidetracked to stick to a project for a long time. I am great at making up Haiku on the spot, although they don't satisfy me as much as bawdy limericks (which I am lousy at).

I'm particularly giften in the art of summarization and simplification, particularly when making analogies. If I were on Star Trek I'd be the guy who explains the science-heavy plan as, "Like putting too much air in a balloon!" I'm also fond of explaining things as the illegitimate and unwanted offspring of two otherwise unrelated things.

I'm usable as furniture.

I am very large, and I might be trying to give them a hug. If this is not the case, my boisterous laugh.

Books: Hitchhiker's Guide, A Rustle in the Grass, Sharp Teeth, anything from The Destroyer series. The Dark Tower series by Steven King was amazing, but too long for me ever to try to read it again. Really, I read anything nonfiction and prefer non-realistic fiction (not counting Westerns, although I usually don't count those as "realistic fiction"). Literature is for chumps.

Movies/TV: Fiddler on the Roof is the truth. Princess Bride is a must. Ravenous was great. Harvey is classic. Other than that I like action or comedies typically. I love cartoons, but most Anime is pretty awful, then again, that can be said for most TV shows/movies. Also, Bruce Willis!

Music: Good music. I have very broad tastes, I usually pick songs or musicians based on their lyrics/melodies rather than because they come from any particular tradition. When I am forced to pick a favorite band I usually say Iron Maiden, which is true, and I only sometimes regret mentioning that fact.

Food: Meat and things that accompany it. I love pie. Most days I wonder why I don't have scurvy. Peanut butter and chocolate combine to be about 1/3 of my body mass. I'm also a bit of a beer snob. Does coffee count as food?

Food, sleep, water, warmth, shelter, and a comfortable pair of shoes. I can give any of those things up on a temporary basis though. I'm pretty spartan by nature.

The six things I'd "prefer" not to do without would be coffee, something to read, my car, internet access, a grill, and my miscreant friends.

My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention.

Working. If not, I'm either lazing about at home or at a nice restaurant somewhere.

I don't like wearing pants if I don't have to, thought thats not terribly secret to anyone who knows me for any length of time... In fact, some may even say I'm proud of it in the way misbehaving children are proud of fun things they've done...

Um...

How about...

I'm much less confident than I try to appear, particularly when it comes to my dealings with other people. Somewhere along the way I turned the antisocial tendencies of High School into a sort of aggressive extroversion without really getting to the heart of the matter.

You are easily amused, hard to offend, and have a very flexible schedule.

If you are happy just sitting around with a cup of coffee.

If you don't care for wearing pants either.

If you are looking to settle down.

If you would like to compare notes on zombies and the dispatching thereof.