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23 Cuyahoga Falls, OH Man


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18–25
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Jan 28
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Working on university
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I haven't updated this in quite awhile, my apologies.

One of these days I'm gonna revamp this page so it seems a little less "fight the power," but you know, I'm just too busy doing whatever amazing, positively extraordinary things I do everyday....
So until that day, good people, I hope this'll suffice:

I'm looking for cool people to hang out with -- I've been without that for too long and around way too many boring and uptight folks. Time to have some fun! (fun is a relative term, I know. It doesn't mean conventional partying for me, but it means more than this robotic, suburban, soulless, humourless existence -- do I tend to word things strongly and seem like I'm on a soapbox? I gotta watch that. Sorry.)

I'm really passionate about music, film and the arts.

I love comedy and think it's a great way to lighten the toughness of life, so I'm pretty much always searching for something funny.

My name's not Derek -- just chose a random name/alias (I'm a bit over-cautious on the internet) when signing up & now I can't change it. Who knew you could pick a creative phrase as a name? Oh, the regrets. Actually, it's probably better I didn't know that, because chances are I would've picked something immature or stupid that would've narrowed the people pool here quite a bit.

Also, I hope it goes without saying that if you're a heterosexual male, lesbian, etc. and I'm viewing your profile, it's because I am just looking for cool people to kick it with and we might have some similar interests, not 'cause I'm trying to woo you haha. That goes for anyone, really. Not that dating isn't on my radar or anything.

Am I 6'0''? Am I 5'11''? Do I have chronic back problems that can make that statistic vary day to day? The world may never know.

My brain does not have an off-switch, for better or for worse...
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm gonna move out in a couple months (don't know where yet) and try to find whatever it is that makes me happy! Sounds cheesy, but I need that right now.

Honestly I think I'm going to give a good honest try at standup comedy and if I fall flat on my face, it's no worse than whatever else I might have done.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Managing a massive iTunes library with OCD-esque attentiveness.

This may not be provable, but I'd venture to say I'm the biggest South Park fan on the face of the planet.

I'm not really actually good at many things people value being good at, so I guess it's fortunate that I don't have many amazing things to say in this often-narcissistic section. I enjoy music and comedy and dabble in those.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Maybe that I don't give many simple answers, and I don't much care for labels. People are much more susceptible to fault when overlooking the specifics and nuances of life by observing merely the universal, general and that which is easily palatable. People also notice I'm self-conscious about my tendency to word things unusually, and I try to compensate for this by offering a preface for this tendency, which is also worded strangely :P
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Unlike my other sections on here, this is a REALLY long section (sorry, but I just love the arts!) so brace yourself.

I like many different types of music, from singer/songwriter to metal to classic rock to orchestral to blues to synth pop (again, I don't like labels much; if it's good [subjective, I know], I like it! haha). I like a lot of music with attitude or that is beautifully and deeply introspective.

Even though I mention different genres, I've been realizing lately how insufficient labels are, especially when it comes to unique and genre-bending music.

Singer/Songwriters like Bruce Springsteen, Don Henley and Peter Gabriel are probably the closest to my heart when it comes to music I love.

The raw, blues-on-steroids style of Jack White, the recent Pain of Salvation albums, certain Metallica songs, etc. really appeals to me. I love a good groove and am a riff junkie.

Lana Del Rey, Temposhark, Patrick Wolf and Innerpartysystem are some awesome, unique pop artists.

I got into music as a young lad via classic rock like Springsteen, Queen, Led Zeppelin, The Who, The Doors, Pink Floyd, Neil Young, Fleetwood Mac, Heart and Grand Funk Railroad still love that stuff to this day.

The label "metal" is so incredibly vague and often summons ridiculous stereotypes in people's minds of screaming and such. That really bugs me because most of the greatest musicianship I encounter in my listening comes from bands who fall under that "metal" label. Iron Maiden, System of a Down, Metallica, Rage Against the Machine, Freak Kitchen, Pantera, Kreator, Machine Head, Katatonia, Kvelertak, Woods of Ypres, Nine Inch Nails, Protest the Hero, Gojira, Agrypnie, At the Gates, Baroness, Altar of Plagues, Deathspell Omega, Type O Negative… I could go on forever. I love many different atmospheric black metal bands, thrash metal bands, death metal bands, etc.. To someone who doesn't listen to these styles, they probably sound like caveman aggressive things -- I don't like that that's the case.

If the lyrics have a progressive bent, chances are I will give the music my time and consideration. I'm not normally into rap, but if you have lyrics like The Coup does, or amplify that intensity like Street Sweeper Social Club, I dig it (these are Boots Riley rap groups).

I think intricate musicianship and virtuosity/being able to play many notes quickly/w/changing time signatures can be the same thing but often aren't, if that makes any sense...


I enjoy some awesome drama films with focus on character such as The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys, Prayers for Bobby, 50/50, Fireflies in the Garden and Bang Bang You're Dead. I also love the more society-analyzing, still character-driven "intense" films with great story lines like Fight Club, V for Vendetta, A Clockwork Orange, American History X, God Bless America, etc.. And finally, can't forget those complicated, feel-good-after-going-through-unique-trial films like Perks of Being a Wallflower, Ruby Sparks, Electrick Children and The Go-Getter. Yeah, I like movies quite a bit.

I've been a James Bond nerd since I was 10 and I especially love the Daniel Craig films and the shift to substance-over-style.

Sam Mendes and Lars von Trier are some great filmmakers.

I also love comedy -- especially in TV programs. South Park is absolutely genius :)

I dig Doug Stanhope, Anthony Jeselnik, Amy Schumer, Louis CK, John Mulaney and several others as stand-up comedians. Daniel Tosh's routine is actually pretty excellent even if his show is kinda watered down at this point; Happy Thoughts is one of the best stand up routines out there in my opinion.

I love Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (represent, Wallace! :P), Kick-Ass and innovative teen-focused extraordinary movies of the like.

Too many other wonderfully made films to list...

Oh and I'm now addicted to Law & Order SVU! That show is freaking awesome!

I don't yet know much anime but my friend who loves it is about to introduce me to it, so that'll probably change soon :)

In regard to literature, I enjoy Shakespeare, Voltaire, Joyce, DeLillo, Ray Bradbury, Bruce Norris, Michael Cunningham and several others.

Some works we've studied in class that I've really enjoyed are Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar, Jay McInery's Bright Lights, Big City, J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye and Walt Whitman's "Song of Myself." I enjoy studying historical contexts and their bearing on a given novel or poem.

This site won't allow for italics, so those novel titles are not receiving proper treatment. I refuse to wrap a novel in quotes!

I also love literary theory and find the works of Horkheimer & Adorno and Foucault to be foundational truths for living in the world.


I'm interested in the visual arts and other similar art forms as well, but I'm a rookie when it comes to that sort of art forms. So you visual artists out there, please expand my horizons! haha
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. My subversive, neurotic thoughts / the metanarrative of Marxist thought and criticism

2. The pursuit of truth

3. The arts

4. Friends + family

5. My guitar

6. My iTunes library
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Honestly, the whole "5 year plan" cliche. It feels pretty pertinent at this phase of life.

Also, systematic injustice. The culture industry (Horkheimer & Adorno). Power vectors (Foucault). Philosophical stuff. I tend to think too much, though I guess some people like that kind of the thing. I'm a bit of a pseudo-Marxist, at least when it comes to the state of entertainment, realizing the "balance" of power and the presence of the superstructure, homophobia, the military industrial complex, and other topics: I want to liberate peoples' false consciousnesses! I see art as a great way to do that in our culture.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Working on papers I should have done earlier! Like tonight! (Typed on a Friday) ugh...

I go to concerts a lot (usually the good ol' $25, see-4-bands, standing-room-only metal show -- those are a great, authentic experience), so I'm definitely looking for a concert-going buddy b/c I fly solo at those quite a bit.

During the school year: hanging out with friends. My best friend and I will have movie weekend every couple of weeks where we watch like 3 movies each time :)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a lot of anxiety and not so pleasant thoughts about what the world's like and how I feel lost in it. Comedy is sort of my saving grace for me to work through all the seriousness of suffering and just lighten up.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you think we would be tighter than Saddam Hussein and Satan. Actually, they broke up, so never mind.

If you can melt my icy heart with a warm island song. Or is it cool my hot temper with a fresh island song?

If you think we could be tighter than superglue and the esophagus of a suffocating person.

- These are South Park and Family Guy references.

I can withhold dark comedy for the sake of a relationship if need be. At least, I think I can...

But seriously, I just wanna make some friends and hang out with some cool people!