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DerpHerpelson

25 M Portland, OR

My Details

Last Online
Jun 24
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Technology
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), C++ (Fluently)

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My self-summary
My name is Brandon. In most regards, I am pretty awesome. In some (such as modesty), I am not so good. If you decide to talk to me, I will probably insult you. Please kindly repay the favor.

I dig people who don't take things very seriously, people who tell dirty jokes, people who are sarcastic, people who argue for the sake of arguing, and people who give no fucks.

I do a lot of a different things. Screaming, flailing of my limbs, things of that nature. I suppose we'll get more into that in the next section, though. I'm pretty reckless and unapologetic like that.
What I’m doing with my life
Here is a partial list of the things I'm currently enamored with:
- Admiring my fancy new degree (B.S. in IT, woo!)
- Working Full-Time (Intel, son!)
- Riding Muh Motorcycle (2008 Honda Nighthawk, yo!)
- Teaching Computers (Free Geek, hombre!)
- Playing Magic (and damn proud, motha!)
- Climbing Rocks (bouldering, yo.)
- Procrastinating (at all the things, woo!)
- Flexing My Muscles Continuously (while looking in a mirror, woo!)
- Derping life away.
I’m really good at
I played with computers when I was little, went to school for Information Technology, and am employed by the world's largest semiconductor manufacturer. It is ridiculous how much I know about computer technology. Go ahead. Ask me anything. You will not stump me.

I'm pretty fantastic at other things too. I'm well read and consider myself an excellent writer of things. I wrote a wedding speech for a friend once and made the bride, the entire wedding party, and even the bride's stone-faced father tear up. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

I once created a website (what the fuck, more computer stuff?) entitled tastybacons.com who's sole purpose was the review and rating of different brands of America's most favorite meat product. Another time I created a website for a fictional company I fictionally founded called Awesome Industries. I'm not really sure what we fictionally did but we were fucking (fictionally) good at it.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I give out a fuckton of hugs. Seriously. I fucking love me a good hug (especially when I'm intoxicated).

I also have the tendency to get really excited and flail around a lot. I'm alright, I promise, I just don't have a good outlet for all of my energy all of the time.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I have many interests. Here is a smattering of them. Feel free to skip over this ridiculously long list of things if you're only interested in me for my body.

People who write things I love:
Bukowski, Camus, Danielewski, Davis, Neruda, Palahniuk, Voltaire, Vonnegut

Bands who play things I love:
Jack Johnson, Dispatch, The Beautiful Girls, Ratatat, Skrillex, Tenacious D, Modest Mouse, The Mars Volta, The White Stripes

TV shows that...are on the TV that I love:
Arrested Development, Battlestar Galactica, Castle, Community, Cowboy Bebop, Family Guy, Firefly, Game of Thrones, Happy Endings, The Mighty Boosh, The New Girl, The, IT Crowd, The Office, Star Trek (all of them)

Food that is yummy that I love:
Pho, Indian, Vietnamese, Chinese, Poutine, Bacon, Sriracha
The six things I could never do without
Interesting conversations
Cellular Telephones
Laughter
Computers (no way...)
Diet Pepsi
HUGS
A reckless disregard for authority.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What motivates people. Where I'm going with my life. When I'll ride my motorcycle next. What it all means. When I'll get my next caffeine fix. Hypocrisy. Why it's so hard for some people to be honest with their emotions. Why it's so hard for me to be honest with my emotions. The world at large.
On a typical Friday night I am
sittin', waitin', wishin' you believed in superstition.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have more than five Jack Johnson songs on my iPod.
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 18–32
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends
You should message me if
...you dig people who embrace their weird side.
...you don't generally give a fuck.
...you use a computer for more than Facebook.
...you operate some sort of two-wheeled vehicle.
...you have more to say than "Hey", "what's up", or "derp derpity derp."