Last Friday I went to a funeral. The night before I was very nervous and had a sense of foreboding about the event. It was a collegue of mine's ex hubby whom passed away. I never knew him. But I work with her, so I wanted to be there for her. I dont like negativity in large doses though....so I was not sure about the event.
I was pleasantly surprised to find a mass of people doing what I hoped for. Celebrating Life. The service was about Everlasting life, adn how this sort of end is really a new beginning. All those thing I believe and Love about Loving God. I have taught my daughter about such things as well, and it seems so elementary to me now. I am so glad I didnt go to see my co-worker in agony at such a loss, she was sad yes, but happy too. I found out that she also Loves the Lord in a real way. I was so happy to see that.
For awhile I was in a kind of Limbo there. I felt almost like a ghost. Just watching the event in slow motion. Studying faces, listening to speaches, wondering and being in wonder. At the reception afterwards some woman cracked a joke that blew my mind. We were in a elegant household with very elegant upstanding people and she says, "Well lets eat! Thats what we all came for anyways!" Of course she was making light of things but everyone sort of followed suit. I watched as the men gathered by the back door in their fine suits, laughing and joking and eating. The women conquered the kitchen and talked and wiped each others tears and huged each other.
I was totally struck by the beauty before me in each face. The kindness and humility the day had brought. Everyone was more themselves than perhaps they had been in a long while.....as they stood in reminder of their own mortality.
People whom spoke to me smiled truely and fully. Everyone gave fully of themselves. Perhaps for a while we all sort of lived like we were dying, which in fact, we are. We all are. It was a wonderful time.
How many can say they have a grand time at a funeral? Well I can. And I hope we all remember to continue the spirit in which we adopted that afternoon in the presence of roses and friends, hot delicious food and hearty laughter.
The day s turn to weeks and weeks to years and we tend to forget ourselves. I pray we shall not anymore.
After the long drive home (we were near Canada, Osoyoos) we all gathered at another collegues house and had wonderful Coffee, rich and frothy. I had two cups. We talked some more and complimented the decor of the place. It was warm and wonderful.
I am so glad I went.
This weekend left me with a lingering melancoly, or perhaps I was wistful.....yes that would be a better word. I was still in that strange realm it seemed. I was a watcher. Just studying those that passed by as I did this and that. I started noticing how many still smile their biggest smile for total strangers, how many give more than they can afford out of kindness and Love.
I belive the world is a beautiful wonderful place. There is evil and darkness and sometimes I get so upset at that that I sort-of become an introvert. I dont try to make friends or trust people because I dont want to get hurt or be disappointed. But I think I may be cutting myself short when I do that. Because there is still alot of good left in the world, in man-kind.
I think that is why the Lord encouraged me to go dispite my foreboding about it. I listened to him and I am glad I did.
THAT WILL TELL YOU ALOT ABOUT ME
I am intense, multifaceted, and artist