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29 M Baltimore, MD

My Details

Last Online
May 11
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Not at all
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Has dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Dexter, according to the Urban Dictionary:
A person on the right side or on the side of right. Half evil and half good. Is usually run by emotion and a manipulator of matters at hand.
Dexter has come to save the day, but ends it tragically without anyone ever knowing.
A sexually attractive male specimen.
Damn, that guy is so dexter

I am slightly less arrogant than that definition would lead you to believe.

I'm looking for people to talk to and pal around with. A relationship is the end goal but I'd rather be friends first, so if a relationship does develop it will be founded on something.
I love any excuse to make an over-the-top meal. Friends typically serve as that excuse, so if I ask you over to eat with me, expect something suitably grandiose.
I don't drink, and don't have a problem if you drink, but if you have a drinking or drug problem, I'm going to run away as fast as my little white legs will carry me.
I consider myself to be fairly intelligent and analytical, and enjoy conversations that challenge what I know. I'm not one of those dicks who will try to force his opinion on you or change what you believe. I'm attracted to people that can teach me something new.

I'm also a highly eccentric art-type. Not the stupid hipster-breed art-douche type, but I mean I am actually driven to make art as one of my passions in life. If I ask you to sit for a painting for me, take it as a compliment. I swear, I'm not being creepy. Intentionally.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working a lot, eating a lot more, and enjoying my existence.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Cooking, art-making, punching stuff, getting really excited over nerdy things and taking them way too far, memorizing lines from movies, bowling (duckpin, obviously)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"Wait a minute, you're not Morgan Freeman."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, To Kill a Mockingbird, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I also read a lot of comic books. The Invisibles, Sandman Chronicles, Arkham Asylum, Walking Dead, Y: The Last Man, The Filth, Preacher.

Movies: The Devil's Rejects, The Departed, Eastern Promises, Pan's Labyrinth, Nightmare Before Christmas, Reservoir Dogs, Boondock Saints, anything with zombies, Looney Toons: Back In Action

Shows: It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Futurama, ATHF, Simpsons (before it turned to shit), Walking Dead, Boardwalk Empire, Game of Thrones, The Boondocks, Venture Bros., Frisky Dingo, Archer, Children's Hospital
Ive never seen Dexter. No, the irony of that isn't killing me.

Music: The Clash, Social Distortion, Metallica, Gnarls Barkley, The Black Crowes, Pearl Jam, Rush, Motorhead, Gorillaz, Iron Maiden, The Ramones, Pinkerton Thugs, and a whole lot more that I won't bother trying to list here. Suffice to say I like a whole lot of music. What I don't like is country (it sucks and the whole world knows it), techno, and any kind of music that isn't exciting. I hate boring music and can't figure out why anyone would want to listen to it.

Food: Fried chicken, sushi, lamb, guacamole on anything, chili peppers, milkshakes
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Really really good food
Cartoons/comic books
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Art projects
The next episode of Walking Dead, and how they'll deviate from the comic.
How to murder the hipster culture (the real zombie apocalypse)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Sometimes I dream about Muppets.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–30
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You just should.

Being as how there seems to be roughly a trillion guys on here for every girl, and from what I've heard most of them have no idea how to properly approach a woman using written words, I'm going to draw the hasty conclusion that there is not a lot of girls-messaging-guys going on. If I find you interesting and want to talk to you, odds are I'm going to send you a message. It may very well be a long message, because I don't want to be thrown into the "sup cutie" category of guys.
If you view my profile and find me at all interesting, by all means send me a message. But I'm under no illusions of being able to put up a profile and just wait for the girl of my dreams to find me on here.
If this doesn't accurately describe your expectations for a loving relationship, I have nothing to say to you.