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49 M San Francisco, CA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 9:24pm
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly), Yiddish (Okay)

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My self-summary
So, here's some good news! Seriously, I'm very good at LOTS of shit.

However, my natural state is staring off into space with a blank expression. I think I was meant to be a houseplant but someone pulled a switcheroo in the delivery room or something. (Do delivery rooms have houseplants?)
What I’m doing with my life
Don't get me wrong, I DO shit. Tons of shit! It's just that I usually want to be doing less.
I’m really good at
I'm really good at common sensical-ness and I have a lot of practical intelligence in general. I'm also good at cutting through bullshit. And good at detecting crazy (but I also kind of LIKE crazy, just not the hurty kind).

[Sadly, I'm learning that I'm extremely superficial. Not shallow, but I kind of only like skinny-ish women. So, I guess that makes me a fucking douchebag.]
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm not on Facebook. But I'm starting a new social network site called Shitfacebook. I might join that.

Damn! There already IS a site! And they win. It's the best website, EVER!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I have no pets.
I have one plant.
I have quick reflexes.
It freaks me out when babies cry.
I'm going to make a cocktail.

So, reading that back, it sounds like: "I'm a loser. I hit babies, and I'm an alcoholic."

But that's simply not the case. I DON'T hit babies!
The six things I could never do without
Ok, I'm back. Mmm, good cocktail.

So, what's up? How YOU doin'?

Speaking of cocktails, in my opinion, this is basically the only way an internet first date should be dealt with. Over cocktails.

Advice: Don't make dinner plans before you've even met the dude. Do you really want to take the chance of getting stuck with an asshole, dullard or douche for over an hour? Get a cocktail, if things are going good, THEN get dinner or jump in bed or whatever. Otherwise, get your sweet ass outta there.
On a typical Friday night I am
And then Jesus answered him, Jesus said, 'Well, my son...that is when I was helping one of the other five billion people on the planet, you selfish fuck. C'mon! You were walking back to your Malibu beach colony home and stubbed your toe on some driftwood, it's not a fuckin' emergency, alright? There's other people with real problems.'
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 26–49
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
The first thing people usually notice about you is that on a typical Friday night I'm the most private thing you're willing to admit spending a lot of time thinking about.

Hey, do you like fermented foods?