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24 Portland, OR Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Jun 22
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Mostly other
Not at all
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Pisces, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from two-year college
Less than $20,000
Seeing Someone
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi! My name's Chris. I work a regular M-F job and I'm saving money to get a car, a new computer, and to pay for startup expenses once I move out.

I like reading, listening to all kinds of music, spontaneous road trips, and playing nerdy games like Dungeons and Dragons, Magic the Gathering and Cards against Humanity. I dabble a tiny bit in playing the guitar, I occasionally play video games, I like nothing more than deep and often expansive conversation and am looking for friends/a woman that can both be my partner and my best friend.

I like to think of myself as a very moral person, though morals are highly subjective and personal objects in my opinion. I like finding out what makes people tick, which goes along with people watching on the bus or Max and checking out all the funny-looking people and attractive women.

I love being asked questions, especially unusual ones, or even usual ones, really just because I love to talk because I love being with company; I would never want to live alone.

Lastly, I am very vulgar and if you don't like dirty or offensive humor, then you can go FUCK yourself. See? I'm being vulgar. Although I do know when to keep it in good company and know when it is appropriate to be inappropriate.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Furiously masturbating to SkyMall catalogs and making "That's what she said" jokes.

But actually, working all of the time, playing dungeons and dragons, Magic the Gathering and reading comics these days.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
picking up heavy things and putting them down (like your mom)
making dad jokes
having awesome eyebrows
Telling racist jokes without realizing said minority is in the room
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I look like someone you know, most likely. Also I am loud and inappropriate most of the time.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Does anybody actually read all of these? What the hell, here goes.

Books! Classics, sci-fi, erotica, medieval fiction and crime noir are pretty rad, as well as fantasy. Ask me about some of my favorites, I like talking about books.

Movies! Almost everything by Quentin Tarantino and everything by Kevin Smith, Indiana Jones kicks ass, I like stuff with monsters and aliens, and Hayao Miyazaki films are the bee's knees, plus a lot more.

Shows! Mercifully few: Supernatural, Game of Thrones, Law and Order SVU and NCIS are all pretty rad, Doctor Who is brilliant, and a fair number of other shows are pretty rad, too.

Music! Too fucking much, just ask. So much good shit, basically anything from 1920 til now.

Food! I like most of it general. I don't handle spice well (only mild stuff), can't stand macaroni/potato/egg salad and order plain burgers. If you buy me a burrito from Chipotle or Qdoba you can buy my friendship.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Integrity, self-respect, wisdom, kindness, peace of mind, and a comfy bed to crash in at the end of the night.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Sex, money, butts, games, junk food, how to combine them all, and dad jokes. Also consistently forgetting to find a good therapist because I have nobody to talk to about life and how hard it is waaahhh.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Relaxing at home and staying up late so I can sleep in late on Saturday, most likely either reading comics, chatting with people online, or living vicariously through strangers on the Internet.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I almost lost my mind from dropping acid once, it was the last time I ever used anything.

I like the idea of spending time with people, but I'm still not all that comfortable with silence, which usually happens when I hang with people and we can't think of what to talk about.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I don't message you, you think I'm attractive or you're intrigued by me in one way or another. I don't talk to people that won't hold a conversation, one-word replies are bullshit, yo.

Please message me if you have any corny jokes, I love them and can't get enough of them