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24 Portland, OR Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 5:37pm
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Mostly other
Not at all
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Pisces, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from two-year college
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi! My name's Chris. I work a regular M-F job and I'm just about done saving for a car and startup expenses for my own apartment.

I like reading, listening to all kinds of music, spontaneous road trips, and playing nerdy games like Dungeons and Dragons and Cards against Humanity. I dabble a tiny bit in playing the guitar, I occasionally play video games, I like nothing more than deep and often expansive conversation and am looking for friends/a woman that can both be my partner and my best friend.

I like to think of myself as a very moral person, though morals are highly subjective and personal objects in my opinion. I like finding out what makes people tick, which goes along with people watching on the bus or Max and checking out all the funny-looking people and attractive women.

I love being asked questions, especially unusual ones, or even usual ones, really just because I love to talk because I love being with company; I would never want to live alone.

Also I guess it helps that I'm fuckin weird and I want someone that's also weird. Whatever weird is, anyhow.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Furiously masturbating to SkyMall catalogs and making "That's what she said" jokes.

But actually, working all of the time, playing Dungeons and Dragons, catching up on shows that came out a long time ago that I don't want to be spoiled on anymore, and escaping mom's house when I can. I don't have much of a life. Like seriously, some of the people on here just have tons of photos of them backpacking across Europe or winning awards and stuff, and I'm just like "Hey, wanna play some Halo and fool around?"
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
picking up heavy things and putting them down (like your mom)
making dad jokes
having awesome eyebrows
being the weirdest person in the room (in a good way, not like that other creepy dude at work)
being the butt of jokes, apparently, though always in good fun
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I look like someone you know, most likely. Also I am loud and inappropriate most of the time. I also have significant chest hair that likes to stick out of my shirt collars, like from the 70s.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Does anybody actually read all of these? What the hell, here goes.


Goodreads is fantastic. As far as a summary, fantasy, I used to be big on self-help, horror, erotica, adventure, mystery, comedy, and sometimes all combined.

Movies! Almost everything by Quentin Tarantino and everything by Kevin Smith, Indiana Jones kicks ass, I like stuff with monsters and aliens, and Hayao Miyazaki films are the bee's knees, plus a lot more. Ask me!

Shows! Mercifully few: Supernatural, Game of Thrones, Law and Order SVU and NCIS are all pretty rad, Doctor Who is brilliant, and a fair number of other shows are pretty rad, too. Ask me!

Music! Too fucking much, just ask. So much good shit, basically anything from 1920 til now. Especially the Black Keys, Slayer, old Metallica, Frank Sinatra, blues/jazz in general, and The Presidents of the United States of America.

Food! Fucking grilled PB&J from that shack across the river whose name I always forget. And a bunch of other stuff, mostly carbs and sugar, whaddya know.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Integrity, self-respect, wisdom, kindness, peace of mind, and a comfy bed to crash in at the end of the night.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Furries, money, butts, games, junk food, how to combine them all, and dad jokes. Also getting stuck in anxiety loops, that's pretty fun. Also, people.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Relaxing at home and staying up late so I can sleep in late on Saturday, most likely either reading comics, chatting with people online, or living vicariously through strangers on the Internet.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I almost lost my mind from dropping acid once, it was the last time I ever used anything.

I like the idea of spending time with people, but I'm still not all that comfortable with silence, which usually happens when I hang with people and we can't think of what to talk about. Maybe I just need to get used to doing individual-oriented activities while with someone? Please promise not to make me watch any Youtube videos, though.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I don't message you, you think I'm attractive or you're intrigued by me in one way or another. I don't talk to people that won't hold a conversation, one-word replies are bullshit, yo.

Please message me if you have any corny jokes, I love them and can't get enough of them