I do in fact own a didgeridoo. I do not play it often because I have not yet mastered the art of 'circular breathing.' Also, it scares the dog because he's a coward.
For about two years, my family passed around a fruitcake, devising increasingly elaborate schemes and using any gift-giving occasion as an excuse to give it to the next schmuck in line. One of these events was my sister's wedding. During the reception. As part of a toast. Said sister also recently gave me a card game that is apparently about monkeys throwing poop at each other. I think those two facts sum up my family quite well.
My spirit animal is a tour guide at a bourbon distillery.
I use '&c' instead of 'etc.' The former is classy like ancient Rome. The latter is for plebeian, like... Ancient Rome.
Fuck, I think I just made a Classics joke...
I've used 'Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo' as a threat.
Fuck, that IS a Classics joke...