Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
'I've always wanted to date a girl named... "The
I do in fact own a didgeridoo. I do not play it often because I
have not yet mastered the art of 'circular breathing.' Also, it
scares the dog because he's a coward.
For about two years, my family passed around a fruitcake, devising
increasingly elaborate schemes and using any gift-giving occasion
as an excuse to give it to the next schmuck in line. One of these
events was my sister's wedding. During the reception. As part of a
toast. Said sister also recently gave me a card game that is about
monkeys throwing poop at each other. I think those two facts sum up
my family quite well.
My spirit animal is a tour guide at a bourbon distillery.
I use '&c' instead of 'etc.' The former is classy like ancient
Rome. The latter is for plebeian, like... Ancient Rome.
Fuck, I think I just made a Classics joke...
I've used 'Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo' as a threat.
Fuck, that IS a Classics joke...
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
According to the Political Compass, in three years I've gone from
Dead Center to Far 'Dirty Pinko Commie Bastard' Left. I feel good
Becoming a Maker - my skills are still catching up with my ideas,
though. Someday, Handmade Pinball Machine.... Someday...
Trying to teach my dog to high five. It's... Slow going.
Working a job that could be summed up as 'The IT Crowd
without British accents' - well, that's not exactly true, I do
sometimes get to talk to people in London. So I guess that counts?
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making up facts about things (e.g. Pallas' Cats are actually
reincarnated Victorian-era British gentlemen). It's usually for the
best that gullible people don't go to zoos or museums when I'm
Getting organized in a singularly disorganized
Getting roped into favors without having the slightest idea what
the favor is (Most recently: Helping my sister set up for a
genealogical convention). Apparently, the magic words for me are
"I'll buy you dinner and Graeter's."
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My usual greeting of 'COWER, BRIEF MORTALS'?
Hell, I don't know. I did get informed once that I have a 'lovely
The same person also told me that I have a 'very British sentence
structure.' I'm still not sure what that means - maybe it's because
I rock the single quotes?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Author-wise, I read anything I can by Stephen Baxter, Bernard
Cornwell, SM Stirling, and Kim Stanley Robinson. Recently read
"Destination Truth: Memoirs of a Monster Hunter" Because I kinda
want to be Josh Gates.
For movies and shows, you could probably just play 'Spot the
Reference'. And despite being a 'Not a Car Guy' Top gear is awesome
-- the real BBC version.
I will listen to just about everything, though I do have a
predilection for any music that makes me want to dance a
Qdoba > Chipotle and anyone who disagrees is a philistine whose
family tree includes goats - specifically ones with no taste that
eat cans. Smoothies are the best fruit delivery system ever
devised. Couscous is 'the bee's knees'.
I've recently been made aware of the wonders of combining root beer
and bourbon cream.
And on the subject of food, I have also eaten bugs (and not for a
bet/dare* - actual bugs prepared as actual food). I don' think I'd
rank them in my Favorites, but I probably wouldn't turn 'em down
should the opportunity arise again.
*OK, the chocolate-dipped scorpion was a dare.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
- Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs
- The Swanson Pyramid of Greatness
- The latest edition of Pocket Ref
- My Dog (He makes for a good armrest, an acceptable pillow, and
he's cool with being used to warm my feet in lieu of
- Listerine (And seeing how long I can hold a dose in my mouth
without tearing up. Spoiler: Not long)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Would it be cooler to live in a yurt or on a boat? Probably a yurt.
Go Mongol or go home.
What my next project/endeavour should be.*
Why did Constantinople get the works?
Why there isn't a fifth season with the day lengths of summer, the
briskness of autumn, and somehow also high-quality snow that can
exists at temperatures above freezing (And that is also not
volcanic ash). And something from spring too like... Zoo
Who should I write a letter to to get the above fifth season
created. Right now, I'm leaning towards HAARP.
*And swearing the the next-next project will be a set of
working Farnsworths. Or a yurt.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Trying to decompress after dealing with electronic geegaws and
doodads. Most often it involves finding new ways to torment the
mutt or using him as an armrest or pillow. Then I can wake up
Saturday to seize the day and throttle it.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If I haven't shaved in a while, I'll briefly leave a goatee just to
see what my evil Mirror Universe self looks like.
Also, a few years ago, I maintained a Twitter account for a cat. In
my defense, I was unemployed at the time.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You think you can help me build an electric didgeridoo. Or a sonic
screwdriver. Either or.
You have 'Adventure Timing' - e.g. you go to the museum and in the
lobby you find yourself with an aquarium volunteer leaning in and
conspiratorially whispering 'You guys wanna tickle a horseshoe
You have taken the conspiratorial aquarium volunteer up on his
offer and tickled the horseshoe crab.
You know the difference between 'e.g.' and 'i.e' (take
that 'they're, their, there' people).*
You have recently smelled something that could best be described as
fudge when there was no fudge.
*And you dig footnotes.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.