Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
House keeping note: I have the OKC app on my phone, so my profile
indicates that I'm on the site 24-7-365. I'm not.
I'm a writer, an inventor (the kind who gets patents) and an
I am world traveled, multilingual, politically progressive, own my
own business, and am very much my own man.
There is a Norwegian word that has no one-word equivalent in
English: "Tøffelhelt." A tøffelhelt is the kind of guy your grand
mother wanted you to marry. The guy your college friends married
and then cheated on within a year or two.
A tøffelhelt is kind, reliable, supportive and harmless. He does
not make any waves, he provokes nobody, he always agrees with you
partly out of politeness and partly because there just isn't that
much to him.
OKC is crawling with tøffelhelts. If you want one of these
house-broken beta guys, click away now. I'm not who you are looking
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
What am I doing with my life? I'm trying to live it in accordance
with my nature.
Is that too vague? I suppose it is, but it is also rare.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I can write an essay very fast. I can whip-up an a good meal in a
jiffy (my mother was a chef). I can fix anything: the washing
machine, the toaster, the leaky pipe, the car. In fact, I can and
have built an entire house but have not done that for years. I've
now directed my tinkering toward a second career as an inventor.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The sensitive ones notice that conversation with me comes easy and
And just about everyone notices that I smile quickly and laugh
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I have hundreds and hundreds of books, but I'm transitioning to
e-readers. One American book? Moby Dick. It's a touchstone for me.
I love Dostoevsky. I love Kazantzakis. I love Kierkegaard. I love
Unamuno. I love Theodore Roethke. I love Juan Rulfo. I love Rumi.
I've read most of Michael Polan whose books are important but badly
written. I think Oran Pamuk is a genius. I love Plato. I love
Nietzsche. I love Lorca. I love Mark Twain. In my early twenties
Pauline Reage revealed to me that generations of seekers in the
realms of power and eros had followed their atavistic appetites
just as I was beginning to follow mine.
My TV is hooked-up to a DVD and a VCR, not to cable or dish or some
other source of broadcast TV. So, as a practical matter, I watch no
TV at all.
I eat all cuisines but cook mostly Mediterranean. I do not eat
processed foods. In general I eat meat only once or twice a week,
and I do not eat corn-fed mass market meat.
Kurosawa is my favorite movie director. I also love Italian cinema
and have seen all or most of Fellini, Rossellini, Pasolini,
I am not interested in spectator sports and could not care less if
the Yankees go the World Series. I played sports when I was kid,
and loved doing it. I'm an adult now and am not interested in
spending my time watching 28 year-old jocks hit a ball with a
stick, or toss a ball through a hoop, or carry a ball over a line,
or kick a ball into a net. I do ski very well (double black
diamonds are fine) and like to scuba and hike in the woods.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
This is a silly question. I live in NY and have a wonderful rich
life while 40% of the world's kids go to bed hungry every night.
So, the suggestion that you or I could not live without certain
material comforts strikes me as an overly-pampered and absurd
vaporing. That said, life has no meaning outside of relationship.
This applies to everything, not just eros. You can't build a
business without relationships. You can't drive a car safely
without the cooperation of other drivers. We are always and
everywhere interrelated. I wish for fine relationships, that's what
is most important to me.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How strange it is that the vast majority of people seem to feel
that their symbols and values are the true way; and that the
biggest problem in the world is that others have not yet seen their
The fact that wisdom cannot be passed on, with the consequence that
every generation makes the same mistakes, particularly with the
objective horror of war.
If a new gizmo I'm designing will qualify for a patent.
The fact that we are living in an interregnum in which the ideas
and symbols and norms that informed our culture for centuries are
collapsing, and new ideas and symbols and norms are struggling to
Which section of the Appalachian trail should I hike next. Im
working on the New England portion a few days at a time.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Making pizza from scratch. Driving up to my farm (I'm partners in
an organic farm.) Having dinner out.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I lived for five years is a stable triad with two women. Several
years ago one of the women, a professor, moved far away to take a
tenure-track job. That left two of us in NYC. Our relationship is
lovely, but over the years we both came to prefer the dynamic of
three to the dynamic of two.
We are not looking for a prurient ménage à trois, much less a
"unicorn." And we will not do three just to do it. But, through
experience, we know that three can be an augmentation of two rather
than, as most think, a dilution.
You can see her profile under the OKC moniker artfire.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You do not care about conventions generally. You think for yourself
and have interesting things to say. You are interested in the world
generally and respect all real human enterprise: spiritual and
scientific and artistic. You are grounded in a practical way, yet
are still artistically and spiritually sensitive and have no truck
for religious fanatics or new-age myrmidons. You know in your
marrow that living a deeper life means having an inner struggle and
that spiritual evolution has as its cost some suffering. It is
important to you to be a fine human being.
If you have read this far, I can add this: I am not your man if you
find androgynous men, metro-sexual men or bisexual men sexy; if
that's your taste you will almost certainly find me too
By the way, I'm not only looking for eros. If you are an
interesting woman with a subtle mind and a big heart, that's
Finally, if you are a member of the GOP or the NRA, go away.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.