Also....Ladies, please let me offer you some advice about online dating:
When posting on your self summary, never list what you do not like about someone. Why would you give people (aka con artist) the ability to see your 'dislikes'?? Why give them the knowledge and power to fool you? Posting on your profile, what you do not like about someone, dating, etc, only allows them to pretend to be the awesome person you are looking for! Just talk about yourself and life, you don't even need to mention your hobbies. Giving someone too much knowledge about what you love and respect, only allows him to clone that (temporarily) and pretend to be the awesome person you have been searching for your whole life. Why the hell would you do that?? I realize people are monkey's and send you ridiculous messages and disappoint you over and over again, but didn't your mother teach you about finding a diamond in the rough? Polishing a turd doesn't make for a good relationship.
Ok, now... About me!
I own two businesses:
www.CLCscreenings.com (background check services)
www.JohnAndrewCarlton.com (photography and marketing service)
I set my own schedule, which allows me to work when I want to. I use to be here looking for true love and commitment, but I realized I was trying too hard. So now, I'm just going to have fun and enjoy life. If something serious comes of it, awesome!
More about me:
I once found $26,000 and turned it in.
I was doing security for President Bush on September 11th 2001.
My land speed record is 186mph.
I once died and was revived.
My father died when I was five. My mother never remarried or dated again.
When I was 8 I found a human skull while walking home from school.
Cud is a portion of food that returns from a ruminant's stomach to the mouth to be chewed for the second time. So who wants to "Cuddle"??
Ok, I just signed up for Obama Care. Now I'm going to go walk in front of a bus and test it out.
Some of you hate me. Many of you like me. At least one of you must love me. And I mean like the grind on me and make me breakfast kind of love... you know, real love.
So, I'm back to online dating. It's not really to meet women. I just really appreciate Duckface Photography.
New rule: "Oral Sex" is defined as someone who speaks correctly.
Who would like to have oral sex over coffee tonight?
I'm sick of living in a condo. Every time I text a girl and tell her I live in a condo on the 3rd floor, I never hear back from her. Then I realize my phone told her I live in a Condom. No girl wants to visit a guy that lives in a condom.
If we had three arms as a species, imagine the damage we could really do to the planet.
Does anyone want to have my baby? I'll make it really quick and meet you in 9 months at the Burger King parking lot and make the exchange. #GhettoSurrogate
The national bird is the Bald Eagle. What isn't known is Ben Franklin wanted the Turkey to be the national bird. Doesn't the Turkey represent Americans better? Fat and Clueless!
I'm going to have an arranged marriage. I'll let you know if I select you.
I'm just a few years short of hitting my George Clooney stage ladies. Just hang in there. Did I say George Clooney? I meant Danny Devito. Sorry for the confusion.
I live my life with a 2.8 Aperture.
And there's more....
And because people apparently do not understand the difference between Doobie and Dobie.... I own a dog which is a "Doberman Pincher" which therefore makes me a Dobie's Daddy, so.... I'm not a Stoner. Those days are way behind me. If you smoke daily it won't work out between us as a serious relationship.
I do not follow fads. I don't care about societal norms. I am my own person. I am happy, content, and secure in finances, sexuality, and emotions. If you are the type of girl who wants to "fix" a man and make him a better person, I'm not the one for you.
"Life has gaps in it. Don't go crazy trying to fill them."