Hi, this is me, a person who apparently loves talking about himself. This is obnoxiously long. Skip it.

I can be judgmental and impatient. I inherited a shitty temper from my dad. I'm from Omaha, I'm mixed (half-white, half-filipino), I live in the KC area. I love movies and sports. I'm short but great at basketball. If you round up, I write, draw and play guitar. I love to make people laugh. Nothing better than getting complete strangers to laugh loudly. I'm arrogant. I assume by default I'm smarter and more interesting than most people I meet. Sounds awful, but seems accurate. I'm a lovable orphan.

To me honesty is easy but still impressive. I'm almost always willing to give change to the homeless, and can rant at length about why. I change this space often because I'm neurotic and self-conscious, despite my cockiness. The part of my brain that controls things like "stress" and "worry" is completely damaged. I once spent a stint in a psych ward where the day nurse went by "Gidget", which I love. I once got arrested for aggravated arson (but not convicted). Boredom slowly kills me inside and seeing what happens after you fuck up royally is always an exciting time. For a while there I thought I was getting better at ignoring that fuck-it-all-up impulse, but apparently not, judging by recent choices I've made.

Anyway! I kinda hate people that cover their cars in bumper stickers. Or people that update their Facebook status with lyrics they think are deep and apply to their lives. Life-by-slogan is pathetic. Fortune cookie wisdom ain't that wise. Them lyrics ain't deep and you look like a douchebag.

Also, Social Darwinism is a completely idiotic misinterpretation of natural selection. Creationism is silly. Gay rights do not erode your morals. Free will is an illusion. Camus said that essentially the question of suicide is the only philosophical problem that matters at all. It's hard to disagree. Vanity plates are aptly named. Morality is subjective, and I have a strong disdain for anybody that lets either the law, religious text, or a combination of the two decide what's right or wrong for them. Think harder, it means more that way.

If you read all that, you either know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm a moron, or I'm worth talking to. So... yeah.

"Upending the tea table" is what they'd say in Japan. I sorta had a clear idea what the shape of my life was gonna be, now I don't. And I kinda love not knowing. It's all up in the air now.

Not panicking, sports, cracking wise.

The beard? The smile? The lack of genuine human emotion? No clue.

Books: Catcher in the Rye, Palahniuk, Gaiman, Vonnegut, Ellis
Movies: Tarantino, Scorcese, Kurosawa, Charlie Kaufman-written screenplays
Music: almost literally everything
Food: almost literally everything edible. But specifically sushi.

Humor, music, words, people, imaginary conversation, distractions.

Meta, sports, politics, storytelling, me.

While most people my age should be passed out drunk, high, post-coitus or any combination thereof, I'm breaking my back for UPS, unloading a minimum of 25 tons of loathsome packages over a handful of hours for a tiny pittance. Sounds like an exaggerated amount of weight but it's not, I did the math. Ridiculous, right?

My dick reminds me of Andy Capp. I have elaborate imaginary conversations daily. If I could reliably get checked out and hit on every time I went to a gay club, I would go to a gay club nightly.

I owe you money or you're curious about the awkward Andy Capp comment. Or whatev.