Here I am again. I used to have my online-dating sonnet, "Category Love," up here at the top, but now I have a new song I'm working on, so I think I'll update this whole profile, including sharing the new one with you. I hope you like it.
All the World in Time
I’ve seen the nightfall turn – turn into day
Snowy April turn – turn into May
I hurried up and took – and took my time
Standing back, I see – I see what’s mine
Butterflies and hon- – and honeybees
Little songbirds fill – filling the trees
All green around and blue – and blue above
Everywhere the seeds – the seeds of love
Now, ev’ry hour holds – it holds a chance
Rain’ll fall upon – upon our dance
Funny what the flow’rs – the flowers know:
Without the rain we can- – we cannot grow
Hope you like this lit- – this little rhyme
All the world is yours – is yours in time
Trouble comes but nev- – er, ever stays
Keep a smile and mu- – and music plays
(begin instrumental – and, as the music plays, we fall in love. Well maybe.
Do you love to read and ponder and laugh about this whole affair we’re into, aka online dating. If you do, then you might like to spend some time with me.
Why? It’s because I hold in life an unusual role: communication theorist. I cannot help but see the undercurrents (some of them, anyway) of special communication arenas, especially if I am participating, and, truth be told, I also like to make people smile, maybe even laugh, at our more humorous human tendencies regarding “the making of meaning” (another name for communication).
First off, I am increasingly convinced that the way to “find success” on this, or any, dating adventure is to redefine your goal from “finding a great mate” (could happen, but no guarantees) to “having fun and learning all about myself, past, present, and future.” I especially like the “future” part, but I do have a special little take on that (I told you I’m a theorist!). It’s not so much “who you are” or even “who you want to be”; it’s “who you are becoming.” Very subtle difference in verb tense. Who you “are becoming” is not past, present, nor future – it is “present progressive,” which means now, yet unfolding as we speak. Fun with grammar!
The lady “in there” that I care about and want to fall in love with is not some future you, who may or may not ever materialize (especially if you, like many, find yourself changing your goals as you go along, prompted by the fickle ways of happenstance and culture). The lady I crave to love, support, laugh with, make love with, experience new things with, and “become” a new man, myself, with, is not aiming at a moving target out there in the future. She is right now becoming someone fresh and vital, and in that transforming moment-upon-moment, she is never so beautiful as right now. She is not trying; she is becoming.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Yes, but what does this have to do with sex?”
See? I *can* read minds! Just kidding. Of course, sex is the furthest thing from our minds.
It actually does have a lot to do with sex, but I’m running out of characters, so I’ll have to explain that later. For now, let’s just say that when love – emotional and physical – is more about exploration than destination (my theme, above, if you’re getting me), then love, itself “becomes,” and that feels nice, I promise.
I am here to have fun and learn about myself . . . and about you, too. Yes, I would like to find a new love, but I have already learned that this online mode, by reducing us to "categories," presents special challenges not out there in the "real world."
Me? I like a gal who hunts the thrift store for a $10 silk dress that some "shopaholic" paid $300 for, then got sick of. Most fun for me? A road trip with you, with no set destination. We can leave today, no passport needed.
Just one lady. Where are you? Forever? Well, we never know about that, but in the here-and-now, upon which the only hope for forever plants its seed, I can promise to treat you with love, respect, integrity, and affection. Could be worse
Interested in talking about it? Drop me a line. In any case, good luck in your search, and godspeed in your becoming.