Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


23 M Warren, MI

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–25
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Sep 17
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and very serious about it
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Working on university
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Has dogs and dislikes cats
English, German (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I like science, video games, fixing computers, long walks on beaches under indigo sunsets, tomatoes, literature, and lots of other crap.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
* * * UPDATED 27 JUNE 2013 * * *
Alright, so a few new things have happened. For instance, I now have a job at a temp agency that lets me work almost as many hours as I want, with only one catch: the pay is dirt.
My work can range from anything as difficult as moving giant pieces of steel, to meager tasks like dotting some random part with a marker for any duration of time, any day.

My co-workers and I came up with a name for it, and we thought that "dotology" was a fitting monikor. The study and practice of dotting parts. That's what I devote my skills to. That's the culmination of all my education. I dot parts, and I swim in vats of industrial grease.

I used to go to school full-time, majoring in microbiology, then I used to go part time. Now I don't go at all, because I can't yet afford it.
Maybe soon I'll straighten out my piss-poor study skills and finish my associates for the wondrous opportunity to climb on to the next expensive, educational rung in life.
Maybe I won't.

I'm in a pretty shitty spot, because I've already sunk a lot of time and money into a degree I'm not sure that I like anymore. I told myself I'd never stoop down and...
... Oh man, well, I don't want to offend anybody but, as much as I envy those of you who've chosen a creative career path, I have always loathed the idea of a creative career. And not least of all because I might have to survive on commission work alone at some point--even though that does sound exciting, that classic "struggling artist" lifestyle--it just didn't seem sustainable.

I wanted to be a director of sorts before I graduated high school. I was already pretty good at drawing--I'm much better now--and I had a good, working knowledge of Photoshop and Adobe After Effects, so I naturally gravitated towards a career in the arts...
..but I abandoned that career path before I even took a step on the road. Filmmaking, writing, drawing--those things are my hobbies... not my passion. My passion is and always was Biology. Well, scienc-ey shit in general. I read a lot of shit on science in my spare time because
damn it
it's interesting! I hope that when I finish my education I can do something fun in a lab. Like, feeding a hundred, genetically modified mice some weird drug to see if it restores some vital protein in their brain they were born without. Cool shit like that. Curing diseases. Or brewing beer.

But now I'm just a humble dotologist. I dot parts, for now.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Not really.

Technology related shit
I don't go to Best Buy when I need a new computer. I surf the web for all the computer parts and I build it myself. Nifty thing to know. I'm also pretty good at repairing most PC problems. I can reformat, and install an OS and shit.
I'm also pretty good at this Android smartphone hacking shit, too. I mean, I don't write the code. I never could sit down and actually learn programming, but I do all the research for guides on how to root them, unlock the bootloader, install custom ROMs.

Photoshop and Video Editing
I used to edit videos in Avid Xpress Pro, but a better workflow has made me switch to Adobe Premiere. God damn I love how easy it is to get from Photoshop, to editing, to post processing with Adobe.

I like creative writing, but I think it would be arrogant to claim I'm any good at it. What I have is a firm grasp on English grammar, proper spelling and structure that merely lends the appearance of quality writing. In that vein, however, I can shamelessly admit I'm really, really good at filling out online dating profiles. I've had a lot of practice lately. >:C
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I hate filling these out.

- Arthur C. Clarke - 2001: A Space Odyssey
- Arthur C. Clarke Childhood's End
- Hunter S. Thompson - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
- J.R.R. Tolkein - the Lord of the Rings and even the Hobbit
- Carl Sagan - Contact
- George Orwell - 1984
- Richard Dawkins - The God Delusion and The Greatest Show on Earth
- Hiromu Arakawa - Fullmetal Alchemist (Manga)
..and more, I'm sure.

- Battlestar Galactica (Series)
- Star Trek: The Next Generation (Series)
- Doctor Who (BBC series) I USED to like Doctor Who. Let that be a conversation-starter for you. "Why, O why do you hate Doctor Who?"
- Top Gear (BBC series)
- Red State (not 'Red Dawn', 'Red State' by Kevin Smith)
- Sherlock Holmes 1 and not 2.
- The Boondock Saints
- Inglourious Basterds as well as... pretty much every single movie Tarantino's made. IB is just my favourite among them.
- Pan's Labyrinth
- Death Note (anime series)
- Ghost in the Shell (anime series)
- Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (anime series)
- Cowboy Bebop (anime series)
- Princess Mononoke (anime movie)
- Akira (anime movie)
- The Fox and the Hound
- Fantastic Mr. Fox
- Death to Smoochy
- Fight Club
- Sweeney Todd
- Donnie Darko
- Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
- Red State
- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
- A Clockwork Orange
- The Big Lebowski
- American History X

...too fucking many to name, honestly, I really enjoy movies. And my tastes aren't limited to a narrow spectrum, either. I should mention that I don't regularly watch television. I can't sit still in front of a sitcom for more than five minutes. There's something about shit like sitcoms that I just can't handle--apart from That 70's Show I really, really hate sitcoms. But it isn't just the sitcoms and the canned applause that comes with them, no, I have a far greater reason for hating television. It's the commercials. I can't stand commercials.... they drive me fucking nuts! I would much rather pull up Netflix on my computer if I set out to watch anything or obtain the series I want to watch through some other means. It's always kind of pissed me of that one has to pay a monthly premium to have cable television, and yet the majourity of the shit you watch is FUCKING ADVERTISEMENTS! How could that not drive you insane?!
This is also why I browse the internet with an adblocker. I can't handle advertisements. >_br />
My tastes are very diverse, so I'm going to name the few that immediately come to my mind. I predominately enjoy things that involve electric guitars, but that doesn't mean I don't like hip hop and lots of other shit.
- Blind Guardian (power metal)
- Gorillaz
- Mika
- The Offspring
- Dio
- System of a Down
- Metallica
- Pink Floyd
- Steam Powered Giraffe
- Sum 41
- Stevie Wonder
- Van Canto
- Eminem
- Klaypex
-Scissor Sisters
- Doctor Steel
- Jessica Hernandez & The Deltas
- Grand Funk Railroad
- Jimi Hendrix
- Audioslave
- Chris Cornell
- Sound Garden
- Chris CornFUCKINGell
- Black Sabbath
- Queen
- Scroobius Pip
- George Watsky
- Epic Lloyd (Yeah, so fucking what? Some of his shit's good)
- Danny Elfman
- Demons & Wizards
- The Seatbelts (the band that did the Cowboy Bebop OST)
- Green Day (but you know which Green Day I'm talking about, right?)
- Howard Shore
- Avenged Sevenfold
- Tim Minchin
- The Beatles
- Steam Powered Giraffe
- Lots of video game and movie OSTs.

Anything tasty and good for you.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Your mom
2. My phone.
3. this is fucking stupid.
4. Money.
5. Opposable thumbs.
6. Number six.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The next paycheck.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Sleeping, playing video games, hanging out with friends, playing Pathfinder, or reading something on the net.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I can't think of anything I'd admit so freely if prompted to think of something 'private'.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I am mainly looking for somebody to date, but I actually have made a few friends on OKCupid as well. Which is pretty damn cool, I must say.
And, if you are cool, dear reader, I'm so sorry that we well may be two cool cats doomed to forever roam the endless virtual dating cesspool, making only friends with the other few cool people. At least there's always internet video games, roit?

But on the dating side of things, message me if you aren't a drooling, clingy, immature idiot. I can be touchy-feely, yeah, but I do not like to be attached to the hip, at all times, and constantly making out in public. That's not my style. I'm a very affectionate person, but I'm an emotionally affectionate person, not so much a physically affectionate person.
My idea of the 'perfect' person would want to engage me in intellectual ways. I like getting into intense discussion about all kinds of shit. I'm looking for somebody I can bond with on an emotional level, even if the relationship doesn't last forever.
I'm not in this for some cheap thrill. I don't want to talk nauseatingly mawkish, lovey-dovey shit all day. I want to date some best friend material.
But man, if we hit it off, and a mere 6-months into whatever kind of relationship we've got going, and you start talking about getting married and having kids, all before either of us have a college education, or good careers, or a college fund for said child... and how we're SO in LOVE, LOVE LOVE LOVE, OH HONEY, let's have a WHITE PICKET FENCE, and a POODLE
No. 6-months is not enough time to determine all of that. Grow up.
I'm a 22-year-old boy and even I know that's wrong.

Oh, and call it 'shallow' or whatever you like, but I'm entitled to have a preference in women. I am a total chubby chaser. Why? I love huge breasts, soft, round bellies, those thick legs and hips! In fact, I'm not strongly attracted to very thin women. Or... very short women. In a perfect world, my ideal match would match or exceed my own height. I realize most men want short girls, and most girls want tall guys, so I think I'm at some sort of a disadvantage. Now, this doesn't imply I'm impervious to affection for even the twiggiest of midgets, of course an extraordinary personality is the most important component in the "perfect girlfriend". But I generally prefer big girls. Big girls with big boobs. I have an opinion, get over it.

...So I guess you should message me if you're:
not a narc, cool, respectable, badass, chubby, not a homophobe/racist, play PC games (headshots and zombie-hunting can be romantic, too!), you make an effort to use basic English skills when you write, and... yeah. I'll try to respond to all messages.