I guess I am a pretty easy-going, fun-to-be-around kid. I do think that the idea of summing oneself up in a paragraph is a little bit cringe-worthy, but that's the way it works, so... here goes:

I am a golden god. My mother was the goddess of the river and my father was a lightning bolt that struck my mother's womb. I wasn't born; I punched my way out of her forehead and kicked a shark in the gut and that is how---okay, no, that's not true. I teach, write, and practice martial arts. I'm learning Mandarin, and I'm shy enough to invent a ridiculous mythological backstory to get attention. I hope this is sufficient..?

Oh! I like long walks on the beach, strong coffee, and assertive women.

Good.

I teach college English locally, and will begin teaching at an International Baccalaureate school in Shanghai in September.

I also dream of producing an exploitation film about a young guy from Salt Lake City who moves to the Bronx with the hope of becoming a great Jewish baker. I call it, "Challah at Ya Goy."

Correcting people on their grammar, then nervously wondering whether my own grammar is acceptable.

The fact that I'm radiating golden light and am attended by four and twenty angels who proclaim at the top of their lungs the awesome power of my love.

Also, I apparently have a lot of dimples that show when I smile.

Books: Heart of Darkness, Solaris, Invitation to a Beheading, Master and Margarita, Moby Dick, Breakfast of Champions, Journey to the End of the Night

Movies: Time Crimes, The Comedy, Solaris, Seven Psychopaths, Yojimbo

Food: Indian, Chinese, Italian.

And... I like R&B, among other things

One through four are friends, family, a supply of good literature, and good conversation.

I suppose five and six would be oxygen and water, respectively, but I'm working on a way to get around that.

Adventuring.

Also the absurdity of man's search for meaning when balanced against his inherent vulnerability as a decomposing meat bag. J/k! Mostly adventuring.

Playing darts at the local bar with my friends, and having drinks, until the moment I am summoned to engage in one-on-one combat with the evil Angra Mainyu, for the fate of the human race.

I can only be killed by the Holy Spear of Longinus.

You want someone to have coffee with, to just hang around, or to kiss and hold hands sweetly, like a couple of love struck middle schoolers the day before graduation, and/or you're clever enough to realize most of this Spear of Longinus stuff is just nervous good humor.