I guess I am a pretty easy-going, fun-to-be-around kid. I do think
that the idea of summing oneself up in a paragraph is a little bit
cringe-worthy, but that's the way it works, so... here goes:
I am a golden god. My mother was the goddess of the river and my
father was a lightning bolt that struck my mother's womb. I wasn't
born; I punched my way out of her forehead and kicked a shark in
the gut and that is how---okay, no, that's not true. I teach,
write, and practice martial arts. I'm learning Mandarin, and I'm
shy enough to invent a ridiculous mythological backstory to get
attention. I hope this is sufficient..?
Oh! I like long walks on the beach, strong coffee, and assertive
What I’m doing with my life
I teach college English locally, and will begin teaching at an
International Baccalaureate school in Shanghai in September.
I also dream of producing an exploitation film about a young guy
from Salt Lake City who moves to the Bronx with the hope of
becoming a great Jewish baker. I call it, "Challah at Ya Goy."
I’m really good at
Correcting people on their grammar, then nervously wondering
whether my own grammar is acceptable.
The first things people usually notice about me
The fact that I'm radiating golden light and am attended by four
and twenty angels who proclaim at the top of their lungs the
awesome power of my love.
Also, I apparently have a lot of dimples that show when I smile.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Heart of Darkness, Solaris, Invitation to a Beheading,
Master and Margarita, Moby Dick, Breakfast of Champions, Journey to
the End of the Night
Movies: Time Crimes, The Comedy, Solaris, Seven Psychopaths,
Food: Indian, Chinese, Italian.
And... I like R&B, among other things
The six things I could never do without
One through four are friends, family, a supply of good literature,
and good conversation.
I suppose five and six would be oxygen and water, respectively, but
I'm working on a way to get around that.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Also the absurdity of man's search for meaning when balanced
against his inherent vulnerability as a decomposing meat bag. J/k!
On a typical Friday night I am
Playing darts at the local bar with my friends, and having drinks,
until the moment I am summoned to engage in one-on-one combat with
the evil Angra Mainyu, for the fate of the human race.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I can only be killed by the Holy Spear of Longinus.
You should message me if
You want someone to have coffee with, to just hang around, or to
kiss and hold hands sweetly, like a couple of love struck middle
schoolers the day before graduation, and/or you're clever enough to
realize most of this Spear of Longinus stuff is just nervous good