... in the profiles of several women on here:  they state early in their summary something to the effect of: "don't message me if you want to find out how nasty a girl I can be or if you want cybersex" or something like that.  While I understand that there are many creepy guys out there (and I LOVE those guys - they make me look better without any effort on my part) and I'm sure most women on OKC get many indecent proposals, making comments like those above is a real turn-off and will make me move along.  Simply put, I feel as if when I message such a woman it is assumed (because of my sex) that I am a depraved pervert until I can prove otherwise - I feel I will be presumed guilty, and that just makes it not worth the effort. 

Anybody else have any feelings about this?

You know, the one response I got to my last post bugged me a little bit.  Not because she rejected the lifestyle I choose to live, but because she somehow assumes I consider myself "more evolved" or somehow superior to people who choose monogamy.  This is not the first person who has made that assumption, so I decided to clear the air.

I do NOT consider myself "more evolved" or in any way superior to someone who chooses to be monogamous.  Monogamy is a choice, so is polyamory, and we all make the choices in our life we think will make us the most happy.  I have tried monogamy, it doesn't work for me, I am much happier as a polyamorous person - I feel trapped in committed monogamous realtionships and I am happy I have found a solution to this that works. 

Does this make me better than a monogamous person?  No, not at all - I simply have made a different choice than they have.  It isn't "evolution", it is having lived long enough and tried for happiness long enough to know what I want and go for it, similar to many other people my age.  I respect the choices of others, and I simply wish my choice to also be respected.  Am I asking too much?

Yes, this is a post for we heathens out there who elect to pursue more than one relationship at once (gasp!) because we think more than one person can bring positive energy to our lives.

I'm just asking generally: the basic philosophy of polyamory is that love is unlimited and sex is (theoretically) unlimited.  However, as those of us attempting to live this lifestyle have often been forcibly reminded, time IS limited and you don't get any more no matter how much you beg.

So, I'm wondering how you polyamorous individuals out there balance the time commitments of your various relationships (along with work, family and everyday life)?  Is there a "magic formula" that I am unaware of?

I've noticed something about dating and sex as we get older.  When we are young, the man asks the woman "Are you on the pill?"  Now, in middle age, the woman asks the man "Are you on the pill?"

I have been chewing on this a while - Hooters restaurants are a complete oxymoron.  Allow me to explain:

The main attraction of going to Hooters is these Barbie-doll waitresses in very tight clothing serving you food and booze .... but the food and booze they are serving you will result in you having a body that will put those same Barbie-doll style women completely out of your league.  So they are enticing men with these women ... at the same time they are making the same women more unattainable.

Am I just overanalyzing this or am I on to something here?

What IS the point of having cake if you can't eat it?  And how can you eat cake if you don't have cake? 

And while we're on the subject, what is the deal with "tit for tat"?  Doesn't seem like a fair trade to me, I have never looked longingly at a "tat", whatever that is ...

Just read the latest book by one of my favorite authors, Terry Pratchett (Unseen Academicals).  Perhaps "read" is not the right word, "devoured" is more like it, as I read the whole 400 pages in 3 days.  And this wasn't an edge-of-your seat Dan Brown novel with lots of suspense and plot twists, it was just a really fun read, as are all of his works.  Why do I like them so much?  I think it comes down to 3 things:

1.) The allegory - in his mythical world Pratchett can attack issues such as racism (a prominent topic in the current book), sexism and basic human nature while entertaining his audience - the books make you laugh and think all at once

2.) The characters - they aren't some unrealistic ideal.  They are human, they have flaws, they are trying to do right and not always succeeding.

3.) The humor - these books are just plain funny (one of my favorites in many of his books Pratchett refers to prostitutes as "women of negotiable affection"). 

So, I just thought I would throw this comment out there, in case any of you are looking for new material to read while waiting for Mr/Mrs Right (or mr/mrs right now) to show up.

I recently went to see the movie "The Hangover", which is a hysterical movie I strongly recommend.  One thing that happened early in the movie was that one of the groomsmen announced he was going to ask his girlfriend (a complete witch) to marry him.  When his buddies asked why, he replied:

"We've been dating for 3 years, it's time."

It reminded me of that line in the "Wedding Singer", when Drew Barrymore's fiancee says:

"It was time to ask her, we've been dating 5 years, she put in her time"

Is this what we've come to?!?!? 

We commit to (supposedly) lifelong monogamy because we have crossed some arbitrary time marker? 

Because we are too comfortable or too insecure to dare to leave, no matter what?

Unfortunately, this isn't just fiction - I know people who got married just based on inertia - the relationship had gone on long enough and it was "time".  I never understood that.

Your thoughts?

Apparently, unlike most of the men here, if my e-mails don't get replied to, it doesn't bother me. No answer or a polite reply ... it's all the same to me, and there are plenty more lovely fish in the sea to chase.

However, I recently got a polite rejection letter where the lady turned me down because .... I was wearing a suit in my primary pic!!! She said people who wear suits are too uptight for her.

Now, I realize that she may have used this as an excuse for turning me down (better to say I am wearing a suit than say that my face makes her want to vomit or something). However, it got me interested - what is the strangest reason another OKC user has given you for turning you down?

I just took a "morality test" in the test section here, and scored "not very moral". This is unsurprising as it was written using someone else's standards (and likely a college textbook judging from the questions). But it raised an interesting question:

How do we qualify who is moral and who isn't? Who decides that? Is it true that "morality is something you impose upon people you don't like"?

Heavy thoughts for a Saturday, I know, but I am interested in your opinion ....