32 Florence, MA
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My self-summary
I want to say right here that I am super super duper liberal. So if you are not and can't keep political things off the conversation table, I assure you we will not get along.
I've come to the conclusion that I cannot and will not tolerate adherents to an ideology such as modern mainstream conservatism has become.

Having said that, I have been told that. my profile cuts off in places for unknown reasons
Total bliss is this song: Grouper - Soul Eraser
If that kind of music appeals to you, we will get along as far as music goes.

Looking for: conversation. What kind of conversation? That is a great question. I was thinking of the cliche "stimulating" but what does that even mean? My work does not bring me into contact with people who can provide the more wide-ranging conversation (life, pop culture, philosophy, comic books, history, any of my major interests. And maybe politics. But mostly in a snarky/cynical way) I am thinking of when I think "conversation". Actually, it's not right to say I don't come into contact with such people, but that the nature of my work and the environment does not lend itself to me expressing my thoughts/opinions/etc in the way that I would in a "very much not involved with my work" way.

Who am I? What am I? These are questions I often think about. I used to think of them consciously, but then I basically thought that to a standstill. Nowadays its more of an ongoing unconscious/subconscious self investigating/analyzing/testing/theorizing.

I am not here for dates. I am here for an aspect of socialization that I currently (a very long currently) have limited access to in my life as-it-is. If "dates" should come of this, so be it, bt I have never understood dating as an activity.

I have big ideas and strong opinions (tempered by logic and rationality) and I love conversation. But at first I'm usually fairly quiet (I talk a lot when I'm nervous. But I'm working on that. Or am I? Talking a lot isn't bad if it follows some understandable string, is it? And everyone is anxious/nervous about something(s)). I don't want to throw my brains at you, but it has happened, to strangers, acquaintances, relatives and friends.

Some of my more thinky life loves or life goals or "directives" as they sometimes evolve to become includes living, and experiencing the act of living which includes in itself being directly and indirectly aware of the awesome metaphysicality of existing.

One of my goals in life is to learn and experience, and experience learning and soaking in the information that is constantly expanding through the process of existing
I'm more interested in talking to others about life in the way that people talk about anything than being stuck in the narrow category of "I am talking to you and thus I have some desire to date you." Which is petty bullshit that I don't understand anyway.

Who I am (philosophical beliefs): I love philosophy, particularly existentialism. It doesn't fully guide my life, although I do subscribe to the "I create the meaning in my life" bit quite strongly. Just like my teaching philosophy, which is a mix of many other philosophies but with a Montessori base, I take many things into account
What I’m doing with my life
I work full time as a multipurpose assistant at a Montessori school. It's very fun and rewarding.

I love working with kids, and child development is super awesome. Child psychology, special education, policy, cognitive development etc are what I am all about.

As for my formal education, I have an Associates Degree in whatever, supplemented by enough extra credits at GCC & UMass plus multiple training programs and conferences to have a BA, but you know how that credit counting thing goes. I haven't given up, but I also haven't been focusing at all on going back to school over the past three years because I love my job and continued employment doesn't hinge on a 4 year (lol).

Eventually I may go into special education. And then my Master's in Autism Spectrum Disorders or a related area. And/or a Master's in Montessori preschool education.

Eventually I want to work either in early intervention (with preschoolers) or special ed. focusing on autism & learning disabilities (kindergarten+).

I'm naturally goofy, and this translates well to childcare work.

I try to teach myself subjects that are, to the uninitiated, quite complicated. This gives me a rudimentary understanding of said subjects, although it is extremely frustrating when I don't quite understand something and I'm not sure how I should phrase my confusion in google. So I just google words I think may help me find an explanation. But then it doesn't work. Anyway, I love knowledge, it's cool.
I’m really good at
Listening to people, giving sound advice. Talking world news, politics and its often awful symbiosis and detrimental effect on policy, human rights, democracy, free will, the limits on autonomy in what should be a relatively civil society with a government that is theoretically responsive to the basic needs of the citizenry it governs, and other stuff. Not to brag of course.

I'm also terribly good at bringing up obscure information about varied subjects that I should not know anything about. This aspect of my personality may explain partially why I am such a fan of John Hodgman and am quickly reaching a point where I may worship him as a god of obscure knowledge and, naturally, of fake trivia which could really be the truth if you are someone who has no issue with casually questioning what you've been told is factual and reality.

I can talk about music all day. I am interested in music theory, but I've just been teaching myself on and off so I'm not very skilled at the technical terms. As with my favorite art, it's the experience that is most important to me.
The first things people usually notice about me
I am irreverent. I can be awkward and I say silly things that don't sound like they make much sense. But I'm harmless. Quirky is what I'd call me, although my self encompasses all kinds of wild adjectives.

My smile. My vocabulary, something I both agree and disagree with.

Not to sound self promoting (oh,wait, that's the point of this isn't it?) but my friends have all said that I'm particularly gifted in obscure areas of knowledge. And that I'm funny. My humor is often very dry. Or indecipherable.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Some awesome websites:,

I love found objects, and their use in art. Sound collages are awesome. See: John Cage, The Books, Meat Beat Manifesto.

I love music. I'm always discovering new bands and composers and styles and genres. As with all types of information I feel compelled to consume, there is just too much music that has been made throughout history and is still floating around in the present to listen to and have a full appreciation for. It's an anxiety I have that I am perfectly OK with.

Here are some favorites that most people will know:
Led Zeppelin, Frank Zappa, Pixies, Pink Floyd, Feist, Rage Against the Machine, Soundgarden, Talking Heads, Tool, Beastie Boys, Beethoven, Mozart, Tchaikovsky, Bach, Beck, Radiohead. Lots of other indie bands, or bands that are considered "indie" while being signed to a major label (makes no sense. What IS indie anymore, anyway? Ape Has Killed Ape. That is indie. Is Feist still indie?) Indie in their style of music. But when you become part of the corporate system you lose that indie cred, unless you somehow have full creative control.

Glenn Branca is also a genius I have just started to enjoy quite a bit.

Here's my profile/site/playlist if you're interested. I think it's gone buggy now and then and not accurately recorded all of and in what order I have listened to most of the songs I've listened to, but it's a decent enough approximation. I'm a believer that someone's taste in music is one of the indicators of their overall personality. At least it is in my case.

The Melvins, St. Vincent, Au Revoir Simone, Crystal Castles, Black Mountain, Bon Iver, Sia, Primus, Aphex Twin, Sonny Sharrock, RJD2, The Residents, Terry Bozzio, Blonde Redhead, Amon Tobin, Boards of Canada, Massive Attack, Crystal Method, Ministry, Muslimgauze, Portishead, Simian Mobile Disco, Alvin Lucier, Mr. Lif, Aesop Rock, Derek and the Dominos, Blind Faith, Hendrix, The Doors, The Kinks, Nirvana, Revolting Cocks, Battles, Godspeed You!Black Emperor, Slint, Library Tapes, Long Distance Calling, A Silver Mt. Zion, Animal Collective, Beirut, Kings of Convenience, Minus the Bear, Neutral Milk Hotel, School of Seven Bells, M83, Spoon, Audioslave, The Whitest Boy Alive, Nellie McKay, Shipping News, Emerson, Lake and Palmer, Moondog, The Brian Jonestown Massacre, Beef Terminal, Dan Deacon, Gang Gang Dance, Sergei Rachmaninov/ninoff, Gabriel Fauré, Giacinto Scelsi (music based around one pitch? Yes, please!), White Rainbow, Interpol, Valet, Joy Division, Russian Circles (love that group), The Black Keys, Angelo Badalamenti, Nightmares on Wax, The Black Angels, Baths, The Books, Crocodiles, Peter Gabriel!

Also: Avant garde/experimental/electronic experimental/musique concrete and "contemporary classical", some of which is now over 100 years old, so should it still be classified as "contemporary"? or "modern"?

...I love ...I guess what would be called "strange" music, or like anti-music, in that it isn't "musical" in the traditional sense, but more of a collection of disparate sounds. Two of my favorite radio programs are "A Thousand Plateaus" and "Martian Gardens" on WMUA Sunday nights.

One of my all-time favorite minimalist pieces is Steve Reich's "Drumming". It conjures up so many emotions and thoughts at once. It can be maddening but also soothing, chaotic but structured. I've always been a fan of repeated beats. I can likely trace that back to childhood in some way that I don't want to disclose here. But, yeah, check out all four movements of Drumming.

Iannis Xenakis was a visionary composer and his music remains incredible. Seriously, if you know his work to any degree, message me, we must converse on his greatness. For a complete aural assault spend an hour with his piece "Persepolis"

I also have been veeeeery sloooooowly getting into John Cage for like 7 years. Something about how famous he is has always made me stop and think "hmm...naah, I'll listen to him later. There's too many pieces of his I wouldn't know where to start". Although 4'33'' is awesome.

I have a lot of other favorite experimental artists. I'll add them later. Music is so totally orgasmic for me. Metaphorically orgasmic. :P

La Monte Young's 6+-hour "The Well-Tuned Piano" is also fantastic. If you've ever heard Tosca's more minimalist work, TWTP is, if not an inspiration for the second disc of Tosca's Dehli9 album, very similar in execution stylistically.

Erik Satie is also incredible. Although he's not strictly avant-garde. But his work was different structurally I guess. I'm not so hot on pinpointing the intricacies of various classical forms. I can hear them for sure, and I recognize them through what I hear, but I can't put it to words like some fancy pants.

Other people you've never heard of: Larry Polansky *placeholder for future artists*

I love books.
Here are some writers I have either read recently, am reading currently, or plan on reading soon:

Franz Kafka, John Hodgman, Albert Camus, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Ernest Hemingway, Kurt Vonnegut, John S. Hall, James Joyce, Proust.

I love comic books. Artists, writers. The whole medium. Alas many current comics suck big time. I really like the early stuff, and the precursors to comics. Heck, I just love art in general. And history. history.

Movies, let's take some random favorites. I have enjoyed a lot of movies, especially films few have heard of. I really like pre-Hays Code American films. Lost films make me sad. Heck, lost anything-art related makes me sad. I'm a historian through and through, and the reality that there are pieces of history that could have been preserved/saved lost to us forever is a real shame :(

Yasujiro Ozu, Akira Kurosawa for the Japanese film makers I know something about. Ozu's Tokyo Story and Kurosawa's Ikiru have really had an impact on my life, philosophically speaking.

The Big Lebowski, Donnie Darko, Eyes Wide Shut, A Clockwork Orange, Casino, The Pledge, Freeway, Raging Bull, Taxi Driver, Affliction, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Limey, M, Citizen Kane, The Magnificent Ambersons (even if it wasn't finished the way Welles envisioned, I still really enjoyed it and I'd imagine his complete version would have been even better),
Kill Bill 1&2, Unforgiven, The Machinist, Syriana, Children of Men, The Constant Gardener, The Assassination of Richard Nixon, Pan's Labyrinth, Persepolis, Walk Hard, There Will Be Blood, American Psycho, Notes on a Scandal, The Prestige, The 400 Blows, Man Bites Dog, Hot Fuzz (possibly best movie ever), Little Caesar, Umberto D (great, sad sad movie), Atonement, The Public Enemy, I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang (last scene is possibly the best/most haunting final scene EVER in a dramatic film), I'm getting into David Lynch: Eraserhead, Mulholland Drive. I love Eraserhead for its surrealistic weirdness, and I saw Mulholland Drive just recently. Then I fell into the intriguing theories behind what the film meant, and I'm totally hooked on it. One of the best films of the 00s that I've seen. Possibly a life-changing movie for me. We'll see how true that is in a year or so.

Comic authors:
favorite authors (or authors/illustrators): Gaiman, Alan Moore, Grant Morrison, Mark Waid, Peter Milligan, Garth Ennis, Norwegian artist Jason (his work is reprinted by Fantagraphics), Warren Ellis, James Robinson, Jim Krueger w/ Alex Ross, Frank Miller (old school. New FM ...uh, let's not go there right now), Ed Brubaker, Brian Azzarello, David Lapham (plus his art. Lapham is awesome), Chester Brown, Mark Millar (hit and miss). That's a decent sample if you know about writers.

Artists are far too numerous. Dave McKean is a genius, but Gaiman only seems to associate with fellow geniuses anyhow.

TV: MST3K, Monty Python, Ren & Stimpy, The Daily Show/Colbert Report, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Sealab, The Brak Show, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Police Squad, Mr. Show, Kids in the Hall, Flight of the Conchords, The Ben Stiller Show, Clerks: Animated, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Futurama, 24, Sopranos, Deadwood, The Wire, True Blood, Big Lake, Hung, Ugly Americans (that show is hilarious. It looks like an indie comic, too.).

I also LOVE LOVE LOVE Adventure Time and Regular Show. I like Adventure Time, in particular, for it's combination of cuteness, the absurd (not the Camus absurd, but the Dadaist absurd), and and elements of fantasy/folkloric literature.
Oh, and the Black Angels are awesome. It's like Jim Morrison is living through that band. The lyrics are tight and the music. Oh, lordy, the music. So fuzzed out.
The six things I could never do without
1-6: Awareness that I exist. (note: that I am truly aware and not just *believing* I'm aware is currently unconfirmed).
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I said "metaphysics" here. I still like metaphysics, because "reality' is some strange shit, man. I've discovered I have the totally sexy ability to think about nothing. Not nothing as in "blankness" or a gaping chasm of endless night, but more that I have noticed that I am, surprisingly, thinking of neither the past, future possibilities relating to present-day experiences, or even the present. I'm not thinking about time. This can occur for long stretches, but usually it's just a short little blip. I used to always be thinking, like my thoughts would jump from one postulation to another. They still do, but now I can "stop" that and think about being "out of time", meaning I am experiencing where I am, I am taking in what my senses allow, like heat, sound, shapes, smells. But I'm not thinking about this state I'm in. Which is so odd. Perhaps I'm reaching some new state of consciousness. That'd be awesome.

What else? I really think about time quite a bit. How I perceive it, how others may perceive it. It's meta, as I've already said. For example, I was watching Futurama earlier today. And I looked at the date this particular episode came out. And (although I already knew all eps were produced between '99 and '02) I was blown away, cause it first aired in 2000. And, like, wow, that's now 10 years ago. So I began to think about what 10 years means in the context of my life (and my age) and what it may mean as I get older, what it means to be quoting cartoons from coming-up-on 20 years ago now (like Ren and Stimpy). I would imagine that in, say, 1990, to reference a 15+ year old anything-temporary (in that way pop culture of a specific time is unique to that time it originated in) would not be as acceptable as it may be now. Childhood is reflected upon and remembered (for good or bad) by people of all generations. Yet the generation of 80s kids seems different to me. Like, traditionally animated cartoons hit a peak in the 90s which is one reason I think they are still relevant today. There was less control and more leeway/looking the other way by government and studio standards and practices than in the 80s definitely in the post-Nixon 70s. Some of that has to do with more cable tv networks with edgier programming (some "aimed at adults". but of course kids were watching) that marketed diverse animation appearing in the late 80s and 90s, like Fox, MTV, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, Comedy Central. And all of this is connected to social and political events that were going on then as well. So fascinating.

Where was I going with this? That 20-30 somethings may see the scope of their lives very differently after years of adapting to assimilating new types of media and technology. Yet this can't all be boiled down to a representation of what some may call the "ADD culture" [correction: ADHD culture. Thanks DSM-IV!] . We're all part of that now. Everything is everpresent largely due to the internet. Although time passes at the same rate externally (or so we think) internally we perceive time as moving slower. Our minds have adapted to the torrent of information that we're bombarded with everyday. Hence people twitter, facebook, IM, txt, and interact outside technology every day and aren't seen as any different from anyone else. It's very interesting.

Ramble ramble.

Also I think about the Snorks a lot. I muse on the depressing oxymoronic deaths that would occur if the Snorks and Smurfs declared war on one another but did not plan, nor give a thought to planning, how they would survive in each other's environments. Sad :(
On a typical Friday night I am
While the intermittent work I do and now my online school schedule have sort of put me back into recognizing "the calendar" and "the days of the week", "Friday" is just another day for me. Unless there's a concert.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Giacinto Scelsi's work is just incredible-sauce.

But really, private thing? Random private thing or serious-minded private thing? Or sexual private thing? Or "terrible secret" private thing, like my closet is a doorway into a Lovecraftian nightmare world?
You should message me if
If you find humor in this.

If you would like to watch Mulholland Drive. I love that movie.

If you can handle awkward/hilarious silences when I hit a wall of topics to converse about (I can initiate conversation ok-ey, but don't expect me to take the lead each time. Then I'd just go off on a tangent. I know myself quite well. In a good way.) or are prepared for seemingly stream of consciousness rambling. Awkward silences just because I operate on two extremes: Saying a lot (interesting and not interesting) or too little because I'm nervous and think I'll say something completely inappropriate, or that will be considered inappropriate through a misunderstanding.

If you're overly judgmental please don't bother. Not that I'm some sort of uber weirdo (but I am in my own funny haha sarcastic way). But like everyone else who is more than they appear to be on the surface, I take some getting used to. My mind can go from a total explosion of emotion, ideas, desires and all that to just being quiet and contemplative.

I'm into so many things I can talk about a lot and it won't make sense to those who can't go beyond superficiality. I guess I'm shy, but that's only out of caution. I suck at this communication via long messages, frankly.

but, uh, sarcasm, goofiness, interest in a wide range of non-pop music, most comic books (I don't read much current stuff, sadly. But I know about them through the internets), old movies, education, avant garde music, amateur political philosophy, existentialism. I like all of that. And I love music so much I can barely put it to words. If you can understand that kind of passion and want to babble incoherently about how soul crushing a riff is or how groovy a particular jam in a song is, give me a line.

If you are a ZAPPA fan! Seriously, I have a strong affinity for Zappa. I have a lot of guy friends who are into Zappa to some degree (it seems very rare to find the person who has an appreciation for the entirety of the Zappa oeuvre.) but very few female friends, which is sad. I suppose that has to do with the stigma that he wrote many crude lyrics (which I feel is very not true. Much of his double entendres and sexual material is tame and less explicit compared to what one may find even in today's pop songs). Frank had a way of making what some consider lowbrow funny and inspired within the context of his music.

But yeah I love Zappa. I agree with this list by Keneally: Thing-Fish is a little much, although I do enjoy the characters of Thing-Fish and Sister Ob'dwella 'X (and the Mammy Nuns instrumental that is on YCDTOSA v1 is killer).
Objectively I wouldn't discount anything in the Zappa catalog, it all has merit.