In elementary school/middle school my chapter summaries for book reports were 2/3 as long as the actual book chapters. So given my propensity for verbosity, look at my face. Thumbs up or thumbs down, then read on. America!

1. Write.
2. Make you laugh
3. ?
4. Profit

"Did he just say that"?

BOOKS: Brave New World, Cat's Cradle, Slaughterhouse Five, Farenheit 451, 1984, East of Eden, White Noise

SHOWS: Breaking Bad, The Wire, The Sopranos, LOST, Justified, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Californiacation, Shameless

MOVIES: Back to the Future, Dumb and Dumber, Office Space, Hoosiers, The Shawshank Redemption, The 40 Year Old Virgin

MUSIC: TOM PETTY and the Heartbreakers, AC/DC, Led Zeppelin, Neil Diamond (yeah, that's right). Hall and Oates. Ice Cube. Journey. etc, etc.

FOOD: Tacos. Burritos. Pasta. Pizza. Whatever you are cooking! And beer.

1. Family
2. Writing
3. My phenomenal friends.
4. Sex
5. Competition, from sports to board games - would modern society even exist if not for mankind's inherent will to compete? Methinks not.
6. Rotating spot for whatever food I am craving at the time to sustain my physical life force, or intense TV cable drama and/or literature to stimulate and sustain my mental life force.

How many helicopters I'm going to buy when I win the Mega Millions/Powerball/whatever it's called next week. The answer: 0. Because helicopters are impractical, and would take valuable resources away from investing in time travel and teleportation. Boom. Science. Also, I may have a semi-rational aversion to helicopters, due to Launchpad McQuack.

Carousing with like-minded carousers. Writing. Or mini-marathon of gripping cable dramas. Or with, (Insert Your Name Here), being blown away by her salacious excellence.

Once you're on FunnyorDie in your underwear, there are no more limits.

You want to enjoy yourself.