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DorkyDemonAngel

34 F Englewood, CO

I’m looking for

  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 29–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 10:05am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 1″ (1.55m)
Body Type
Full figured
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
Yes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Other
Sign
Cancer
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
You know that feeling, when you're with someone and you're waiting for them to touch you, and the anticipation has been not just present, but building? Then, they do touch you, but barely, maybe just a hand brushed by your hip, or the moment when your knees, slide, against one another. Its like that. That moment that I constantly find my self craving. That sensation.

I'm 34, I live in a town house with several pets (no cats though), and I'm an artist. I went to school for art and I own my own small business. I also work in a law firm to pay my bills. I love to read and I just published my second book. I love music. I couldn't live without it. I'm looking for someone smart and well spoken. Someone who is generally true to their words. Somebody that smiles and laughs often and isn't afraid to make fun of themselves (and others at times). I'm just looking for someone to be special to me. I sometimes feel like everyone takes themselves too seriously.

Oh, and this. This just restored my faith in all this "finding someone" BS we all go through.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=weHPSnnPe68
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I think Im doing what most people are doing, just trying to be happy and feel some joy in life (have fun). I'm trying to be a grown up without acting too much like one. Im also trying to master moon walking in my socks on my kitchen floor when no one else is around. I'm looking for that awesome person that makes me laugh everyday. That person that makes me smile more than frown.
Pointing my fingers at things and saying Pew pew pew, 'Murica. Oh, and making shepherds pie and fried pickles. I work in a law firm. So I am doing that too. And making art and all that life stuff people do.

Oh also, yelling "Knock knock you about to get shell shocked!"
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Moon walking on my kitchen floor when no one is looking (practice makes perfect). I paint and do sculpture and would like to believe I am a decent artist. Reading. I can read and memorize several hundred pages very quickly. Fake tap dancing in my kitchen with my dogs. Entertaining young children. Im a goofy dork, kids love that. I can find something amazing and valuable in almost every person I meet.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My shoes. My glasses. The fact that I smile and laugh constantly (sometimes when its not good to do so). My AWESOME Star Wars purse. My fatty fat cheeks (do not pinch them. Seriously)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Bukowski, Armantrout, Micheal Ryan, good poetry in general. 1984 is one of my favorites and I read it at least once a year. I love Judy Picoult. Chuck Palahniuk has been one of my favorite authors this year. I also love David Sedaris. My favorite book ever is Life Expectancy. This is my new favorite thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmEbF2uhsZk#t=133

Music: I find there is good music in every genre. Billie Holiday, Dispatch, Amos Lee, Kid Cudi, Toadies, Korn, Bon Iver, Brother Ali, Fugees, Fiona Apple, Nora Jones, Frank Turner, Amphibious Jones, Mumford and Sons, John Denver (yes, I love John Denver), Watsky, Macklemore, Bruno Mars, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Morphine, Paul Simon, Flogging Molly,Of Monsters and Men, Jon Lajoie, Baywood, Hendrix, Eric Clapton,ween, Alt-J, Citizen Cope, Sage Francis, Moldy Peaches, Daughter, The Shins, Pixies, Yeah yeah yeahs, Al Green, Dumbfoundead, John lee Hooker...the list goes on and on.

TV: Luther, X-files, BSG, Firefly, Bones, Numbers, River Monsters, 30 Rock, Archer, Ugly Americans, Arrested Development, Parks and Recreation, Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, The Tudors, Louie, wilfred, Portlandia, Futurama, American Dad, Game of Thrones, Modern Family , Community, Orange is the new Black, Brooklyn Nine Nine, Nurse Jackie, The Big Bang Theory and Dexter.

I love Pizza.
I love lamp.

I'm looking for the Troy to my Abed.

You Look Like Rain, Morphine.
Breezeblocks, Alt-J.
"It was the best of times, it was the end of times".
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
friends, music, animal companions, books, deep whole hearted laughs, porn
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgeSapdQUdQ

Poland. Whether or not terminator is the precursor to the matrix. Art. Friends. Sex. Music. I think a lot about having a farm. The fact that I often see something art related and think "why didn't I come up with that?" Hedgehogs. The fact that cloning yourself is a big commitment. Why is it so freaking hard to find someone to date?

If you have to inform people of your magnificence or tell people how truly unique you are, then you probably are neither of those things.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Who knows? I could be out and about or at home with a book. I've been working a lot lately and Fridays seem like a good time to get things done. I prefer to go out on Saturday nights when I've had a morning to sleep in way too late (we are talking one or two in the afternoon).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have never cried, teared up, or felt anything but slight disgust at any RomCom I have ever seen, but, I get a little emotional at almost every single super hero movie I watch.

"Oh, and try to have fun...otherwise, whats the point?"

I love staring at tits. I like hairy dudes. Men that are manly are very attractive. Facial Hair on a man is very sexy. I hate squirrels with a burning passion. I sing (poorly) as loud as I can when Im at home writing in the evenings. I hate being called baby girl. If you say things like, I'm not really into books or reading just isn't my thing, then I'm probably not going to answer any messages you send me. Sorry. I wear TMNT underwear. I find eulogies romantic. I have never been on a motorcycle. I suffer from a bit of insomnia, meaning, I like to stomp around my house declaring I AM NEVER GOING TO BED...and then fall asleep in my footy pajamas next to the fireplace 5 minutes later. That's right, I'm a grown up!

I love it when you are reading something and the words are so incredibly lovely that you have to read them aloud, just so you can hear what they sound like and feel the cadence as the come out of your mouth.

I say crazy stuff when I'm half asleep. It usually involves turtles of some kind.

I like clowns and spiders. Not cute clowns, creepy clowns. Pennywise is lovely. A super creepy clown riding a giant spider would be my favorite thing ever. (This is the part of my profile where most people stop reading and move on the the next lady. But you should consider this, if spiders freak you out, having me around to take care of spider issues or weird clown infestations is priceless.)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to talk to me. Why else would you message someone? If you have ever noticed that Venn diagrams look like boobs.
If you are a funeral director or a mortician. Seriously.
If you think banjos are mysteriously sexy. If you're listening to This American Life or RadioLab. If you occasionally laugh at very inappropriate moments. If you have considered being a super secret spy or a ninja at some point in your life. If you wear suspenders on a regular basis. If you love Mr. Bacon and all his fabulous adventures. If you know what I'm referring to when I say I Fink U Freeky. If you randomly scream NINJAAA from time to time for no reason. If you want to come over and make art projects with me.

If you want to dress up like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and eat pizza ( I get to be Donnie). If you want to dress up like any of the characters of Firefly and say things about pretty floral bonnets. If you want to have a Dance Off!

I want to be read like a bowling ball,
being gently pushed down a wooden staircase.
just a gentle tap at first,
and then the splintered wood left in my wake.
Hitting the floor with a thud,
while the house goes silent.

I want someone that is well spoken. Someone that enjoys art and music. Someone that is intelligent and funny. Someone that doesnt want to change the person I am. I know its a lot to ask.