Bought a house, the basement flooded, a tree fell on my car & the cats moved out (I cried after the last one...) Won't you be my neighbour???
I am jinxed/cursed/possessed whatever, I know this is an attractive quality --- oh yeah, I also have 5 dead girlfriends, 3 ODed & 2 were murdered...no, I am not kidding, and no, I didn't do it!! Wanna go out with me? I'm tons of fun, and if the relationship doesn't work out, don't worry, you'll probably get hit by a bus or struck by lightning anyway, so you won't care. Yes, I also have an incredible sense of humour, a necessary survival tool!
MUTATIONS & PERMUTATIONS FROM BEFORE . . .
I'm NOW trying to make my profile more CYNICAL and SARCASTIC . . .
I'm seeking a sane woman (yeah right!), I prefer redheads or blondes , BIG , FAT , or BBW is good!!, I have a taste for the unusual. --- Actually, at this point, I'm SOOOOOOO HUNGRY I'll probably EAT just about anybody (female, and preferably human, although a sexy extra-terrestrial might even be welcome!!)
I have a very simple theory about relationships, and this is it: WOMEN are CRAZY, MEN are STUPID!! (Somewhat cynical, I realize, but I'm NOT being entirely serious!!) ACTUALLY, I recently realized, NO, I AM being ENTIRELY serious!!
I have a BA in Psychology (so fucking what!, you may say), I'm fantasizing about starting my Master's degree sometime this millenium, and I'm also simulating work at a few different jobs, at least well enough to get regular paycheques. WELL, new update, only one job, but I like it & the pay & benefits are great!
I am lazy , but if I were motivated, I'd be more creative and musical - I sing , play guitar bass keyboards etc., I'm a songwriter , singer , musician , poet , photographer , I have drawn bad raunchy cartoons with stick people in them, I try to make my own porn , I hump people's legs when I really like them, (girls only!!) . . .
What am I looking for?? ----- Love , friends , eggs (as in OVA), etc. --- (who knows!) A reason not to commit suicide would be nice . . .
I love music , METAL , sex , movies , games (not head games, thanks!), kids , & YOU!!, whoever the fuck you are, wherever the fuck you're hiding, I'll find you eventually, or DIE TRYING!!
I'm not rich, but I have had at least 2 or 3 jobs, sometimes more . . . I don't give a flying fuck about money; it is merely a vehicle, it's the destination that matters most . . . although I'm currently going nowhere, as I lack direction, ambition, motivation, and reasons to live.
I'm NOT into any drinking or drugs! I used to be a long time ago, I'm done with that . . . So if you are, please FUCK OFF!! Stay the FUCK away from me, I already have enough dead ex's/friends/etc.!! Thank you for your attention to this very important point . . .
I live (or fake life very well) in western Canada , I travel a bit . . . Saskatchewan , Alberta , British Columbia (aka BC )
INTERESTS and OBSESSIONS (things to THINK about, or TALK about) include, but not limited to:
bbws big girls blues Buddhism children Egyptology fat girls fetishes HEAVY METAL hockey Japanese language kids METAL music musician oral sex orgasms pantyhose philosophy porn pregnancy psychology puns pussy reading rock'n'roll sarcasm sci-fi sex sociology swearing travel
Some of my favourite COMPULSIONS (also known as activities/diversions/entertainments/hobbies/pastimes), i.e. things to DO, are:
backgammon bass guitar chess concerts conversation cunnilingus doggystyle eating pussy fucking guitar internet Karaoke Karate keyboards learning licking live music masturbation movies oral sex phone sex photography piano pizza poetry pool porn puns reading sarcasm sex singing swearing
Some description, CHARACTER traits, other background about ME:
affectionate atheist Canadian Capricorn clean and sober cunning linguist!! dirty minded drug free educated friendly honest horny humour intelligent intense kinky long hair loving loyal night owl nocturnal passionate punster Saskatoon Saskatchewan sarcastic sexy singer songwriter witty
***** I FUCKING HATE!!:
hate (I know, isn't it ironic, don'tcha think?);
alcohol; annoying celebrities; anorexic bimbo supermodels; bad pop music; the bible; borders; boy bands; bright sunlight; bullies; censorship (we can think for ourselves, for fuck's sakes!); child abuse; cigarettes; cliches; cologne; conformity; conservatives; credit cards; daylight savings time; death; Disney; drugs; easy listening (more like impossible listening!!); Edmonton; elevator music; EST; farts; fast food; fish & seafood; fluorescent light; gangsta rap; golf (even more boring to watch than to play!); (most) green vegetables; guns (guns don't kill people, but they sure make it a lot fucking easier!); Heaven (it doesn't fucking exist, you fools!); hot weather; hypocrisy; ignorance; illness; insurance being mandatory --- give me a fucking choice!; jerking off because I don't get laid enough; khaki; laws & rules (a substitute for common sense & decision making); lip-synching; loneliness; McDonald's; media brainwashing & propaganda; Michael Jackson; mornings; multi-national corporations; musclebound steroid monkeys (the male bimbos . . .); nuclear weapons; off-key singing; organized religion (the opiate of the masses!); Pepsi; pink (the colour); plaid; political corruption; polka dots; popcorn; the Pope; poverty; puking; the Queen/royalty in general (kill the monarchy!); racism; reality TV (are you that fucking gullible? It has less basis in reality than most TV!!); rednecks; right-wing thinking; sauerkraut; shit; snot; Special Olympics (sorry, I can't help myself --- if I was retarded, I would just kill myself!); speed limits; spitting; stupidity; styrofoam; top 40; unnecessary pain; Valentine's Day; violence; war;
I am Brilliant, Passionate, and Freaky!!
I am Brilliant, Passionate, and Freaky!!